[JustJace2u]

Here I thought I was going to be able to relax and enjoy time with my folks. The first thing out of my dads mouth is...So, how are you? I proceed to tell him that I'm doing better, but still a work in progress. He responds with...I just figured you were looking for attention. Needless to say, this is going to be one hell of a Christmas. I've always enjoyed Christmas, but this year is different, and it makes me sad and angry.

[Victoria'smom]

I'm sorry most parents don't understand.

[JustJace2u]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I'm sorry most parents don't understand.

He's a doctor, you'd think he'd be a bit more understanding. I'm just so frustrated. It's bad enough I feel guilty and ashamed already for what happened, I don't need the added stress.

[Victoria'smom]

Parents are generally under the impression "not my kid". Yes, he should be more understanding. However if we're not the type of crazy lunatics portrayed on TV we obviously don't need help. I'm sorry he's being like this.

[JustJace2u]

Thanks. I'm just glad my mom seems to have come around.

He asked you how you were doing. Is it possible he genuinely cares but is uncomfortable with or doesn't know what to say or how to show it?

I had a few expierences that have hurt me. Some of them were in fact people being uncomprehending jerks. But there were others that, after my knee jerk reaction, I realized got caught up in muddling something well intentioned.

[JustJace2u]

I'm sure he means well, but it still hurts at times. I never planned for things to happen the way they did, they just did. I just wish he would understand.

[Unrigged64072835]

I'm sorry that your father isn't understanding your situation.

[imaginethat]

Sometimes people say things and they don't understand how it sounds. He might be blaming himself for your problems, but it comes out like him sounding like a jerk.

I know this is hard to accept. It took me YEARS to accept that my parents don't understand what it's like to live with bipolar disorder. Hang in there.

[JustJace2u]

I just have to keep reminding myself that things could be a lot worse.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

My dad treats me horribly because of my illness. Every T that I've trusted enough to open up to about him had agreed that I have PTSD from my childhood of him raising me and the hell is still never ending when I'm about to be 30. Ive been diagnosed for 12 years. The pdoc pulled him aside and explained my Dx to him when I was Dx as a teen but he never brought it up to me again. He still won't ever be caught dead saying "my daughter is BP". He knows how I've gotten fired from jobs because I'm unstable. Or in his words, lazy. So after being traumatized from losing my last job that I loved, I put on my big girl panties and called him and explained that I'm too unwell to work any time soon. Even when I get better it only lasts a month at best. So fast forward to this just passed thanksgiving, after I had ignored his back handed comments all day, and he knows why I can't work and struggling financially, he brings up my money problems in front of EVERYONE there. No shame at all. I absolutely flipped. I couldn't take one more minute and yea I raised my voice and told him he's ruining everyone's holiday and he's being rude bringing up my issues in front of people I had just met that day. I was so appalled by how he was treating me. So needles to say, I'm terrified of him doing it again on Christmas. And this is how he is every single time we speak. I refuse to even answer his calls anymore because he ends up ruining my whole day. The only time I ever got a pat on the back from his is when I was making money. He's that kind of guy that basis his opinion on people by how much money they make. And I'm not saying that to be mean, that is really how he looks at everyone he knows. His problem is he's uneducated about how very real Mi is and it's a very sad and horrible thing to go through. Also he's in major friggin denial even when my pdoc explained it to him when i was a teen. I'm absolutely dreading Christmas dinner. I'm going to need a lot of wine to deal with his abuse. Thing is I don't know what hurts worse, him beating us kids growing up or how he's treated me since i was Dx.

Omg so sorry for making that a huge story. Really stressing about the holidays over here lol.

So sorry about your dad. That was really hurtful. I hope you have a better time with him from here on out.

[JustJace2u]

He's still very cranky. I'm just so over this.

[Misssy2]

Don't let this fester in you and ruin your Christmas because then ignorance wins.

That is not an insult to your Dad..its just a fact that people that make non compassionate comments like that are just ignorant to the fact that you really are suffering inside.

I would have responded to a comment like that like...yea, I think everyone needs attention sometimes..especially when they are not feeling well..but I guess I should know by now that you don't understand!

I always try to put ignorance back on the ignorant person and if they really don't know how sick I am...they will by the time they are done communicating with me.

[Shazerac]

so sorry your father did this to you. Bringing up your issues in front of strangers was inappropriate and thoughtless.

Do you have to go to Christmas with him? If you feel that you do ..maybe you could pull him aside as soon as you get there and tell him "it's christmas and I want to enjoy it. PLease do not bring up my mental or financial issues. I don't want to discuss it"

If he does it anyway, tell him the same thing "I'm not going discuss this now"

It's hard to deal with a bullying parent who doesn't understand, but you will feel stronger and better about yourself if you stand up to him.

Wishing you a peaceful Christmas

[JustJace2u]

Originally Posted by Shazerac

so sorry your father did this to you. Bringing up your issues in front of strangers was inappropriate and thoughtless.

Do you have to go to Christmas with him? If you feel that you do ..maybe you could pull him aside as soon as you get there and tell him "it's christmas and I want to enjoy it. PLease do not bring up my mental or financial issues. I don't want to discuss it"

If he does it anyway, tell him the same thing "I'm not going discuss this now"

It's hard to deal with a bullying parent who doesn't understand, but you will feel stronger and better about yourself if you stand up to him.

Wishing you a peaceful Christmas

He didn't bring it up in front of anyone, but it still hurt. He tends to forget I'm very sensitive, even though I've pretty much always been that way. And yeah, I don't have much choice but to spend the holiday with him since I had to fly to get here. I'm here until Monday so I just have to try and make the best of it. Things this year have just been rough with all the changes I've been through.

[JustJace2u]

Well, Christmas Eve kinda sucked. My dad did nothing but complain about how 'lazy' I am. Needless to say I almost skipped dinner and the opening of presents. I am glad to be leaving tomorrow.