I don't want to be disowned

So, as some of you may know, I'm not open about my MI diagnoses (BP, GAD, OCD (which I think is wrong), and ADHD). I don't even tell my parents about my Dx's because they're so damn anti-MI. What I mean is that they always make nasty, harsh comments about anyone with MI. Seriously, the comments are so hurtful. For example, yesterday he said, "Carrie Fisher had bipolar disorder? Well, THAT explains a lot. Bipolar people are f_cking nuts, unpredictable. They have their heads screwed on backwards."

Well, my dad had his suspicions that something was "wrong" with me. He's been asking me lately, "Why you aren't as aggressive as you used to be? And you're no longer avoiding people. Are you on meds or something?" (which of course I vehemently denied for the reasons stated above). That's when he went snooping through my room yesterday while I was gone and found all my meds (which were well hidden btw). :|

The only thing I told him was that I suffer from depression (which is technically true). Then he bluntly said, "I'm not happy. I already looked up some of your medications." I haven't talked to him since. Now I'm freaking out, like he's going to disown me or something. This all happened yesterday afternoon.

You can point out that it is these meds that have made you less aggressive and more social. That's good, isn't it?

Hugs Blue, I'm sorry your family isn't more supportive

Your father searched your room? Must have felt invasive?

I hope your parents will come to understand better through their love for you.

(((((( Blue ))))))

Thinking of you.


WC

Yeah, it did feel invasive.

I think he suspected something when I said I had to go to Walgreens to transfer prescriptions. I brought a big bag of them of all my Rx's and I think he caught me with more than 2-3.

It must be painful that he's not even neutral.
The disowenment is not important moneywise. I had some money and spent it all. No inheritance for anybody. That way they won't fight amongst themselves. Just one common enemy.
Is it a figure of speech, or are you expecting some money your way.?

I'm so sorry blue. This must be so disheartening in so many ways. Sending all of the well wishes your way. Hopefully your father finds away to wrap his head(and his arrogance) around this and get to know you better. You are a wonderful person and deserve to have all of the love and understanding from the people in your life. Hang in there

Save as much money as you can (I'm sure that's more than many on here could possibly save). Then they can do whatever they like.

And be honest and talk about it.

Does he have problems himself (that's not unlikely given what he says)?

When i lived with my mom and her husband they wanted me on my meds! They saw me at my worst.

Sorry that your father doesn't want to understand.

I'm throwing out a guess here, but I suspect your dad has mental health issues that he denies. I am truly sorry you have to put up with his fear and ignorance.

So sorry you are going through this. It was very intrusive that your dad went through your medications. Mental health is something that leaves us very vulnerable to judgments and stigmatism, and it's especially hurtful when we experience this from parents and family.

I am hoping for you that he won't resort to the worst-case-scenario and come to a level of acceptance. He may never agree with any of it, but maybe he will come around in realizing that you are an adult who has the ability to make informed decisions regarding your health care.

On a certain level, I experienced this with family, although my situation is a little different. My mother tried so much to hide me and the issues I experienced growing up from everyone in the family. She would instruct me to act a certain way and never share any issues with anybody if I happened to be around extended family. Sometimes I felt she would keep me away from others implicitly.

If there was any mention of going to a therapist, that was considered taboo (although everyone in my family as a lot of serious issues, some never diagnosed, but I digress). I felt pressure to be a 'perfect, well-adjusted daughter' who has it 'all together,' that I can never live up to. My mother isn't on board with Psychiatric meds and is from the old school, although every now and then she will surprise me little by little with slight signs of more support, although she'll never understand MI.

There's still an expectation for me to never share with other family members though, even well into adulthood. It sucks. I hope your father loosens up and accepts that you are going to continue getting the care you need. I commend you for doing what's right for you and continuing with the treatment and care that you need and deserve. (((hugs)))

Hugs, blue. I'm sorry your dad isn't more supportive.

I would be tempted to move out. Is that a possibility for you?

((HUGS))

No offence but your father is not a good dude you should consider confronting him about going through your stuff too.

He searched your room and found your meds. What a horrifying intrusive experience! I guess that you can point out to him that your are more stable on your meds. he did mention the improvement in your agression.

What do you mean by disowning you.? Kick you out of the house? Write you out of his will? I hope for your sake you are over reacting.

Also you ARE an adult. He has no legal or moral right to even touch your meds, let alone be looking them up.

If he is planning on kicking you out, I would make him go through the eviction process so you can save money. Sorry you are going through this.

He's a parent, she's his child living in his house. IMO, he has every right to go through her stuff if he so chooses. I think he acted like a prick by doing it, but that doesn't mean he can't figure out what's going on under his roof. What if he had done that and found heroin, would your reactions be any different?

I'm a parent with children living in my house. I have every right and responsibility to go through their stuff if I feel the need. I'll reserve the right regardless of their age, as long as I'm responsible for the house. If they have their own place, it's a completely different ballgame.

(((Hugs)))

Your dad sounds like he's very ignorant where mental illness is concerned. Sadly, this is a common trait. I hope you find a way to open up meaningful communication, that your dad will HEAR you and you can stop needing to hide such a vital component of your life.

At your age I feel your dad crossed a line going through your things. If you pay rent, it might even be a legal violation. I'm a parent and when my son was behaving strangely, I did look through his room. I'm not proud of it but I was between a rock and a hard place with VERY good reasons to snoop. My son was a minor. I don't know why your dad searched....if it was because he was worried about you then I cut him some slack but you have a right to be offended and let him know he crossed a line.

I hope your family can put away their prejudices and offer you the love and support you need. ((((More hugs)))

Hello, bluebicycle, I'm so sorry this is happening. I agree that it's probably a good idea to move out. Hope you can find a place to live soon -- if you do not have enough money to pay for an apartment, maybe there are HUD or other subsidized buildings that you could apply to.

I do not agree that it's any parent's "right" to go through a son's or daughter's things,whether they are an adult living with them, or a minor child living with them. My parents, while they had good sides to them, and many bad faults, NEVER invaded our privacy. We KNEW this about them. They honored us, and treated us in most ways with respect. We were not "pets" or brainless little cutsies to them. They would never have even considered to, for instance, open our personal mail. We were raised to not spy on people, not to pry into other people's business, including members of our own families.

While this part of my post is not really related to the subject on your thread, I'll add about my folks that, on the negative side, they went "too far" in not invading our privacy. I was just talking with my sister today, and we both agreed that we got NO guidance from them about dangers out there in the world, or how to know what guys were safe or unsafe to date - or marry ! BUT we also agree that our parents were extremely naive people.