[Nickiskip]

So let's start with I ran out of my medication two weeks ago. Forgot my appointment had been drinking a bit more but didn't really think about it. I have an appointment for Tuesday. Things were good Monday and Tuesday and most of Wednesday. Wednesday I stumbled upon some disturbing evidence my guy might be on the DL and my entire mood crashed and burned every emotion possible I felt in the span of hours. Stupid me figured might as well smoke pot the lamictal is out of my system. Long story short I went full blown mania... bad mania. I'm thinking I'm going to he'll and this is the accountability portion where God says depart from me I never knew you. Hours later I was okay but still cycling emotions from what I found my boyfriend searching. I've been back and forth so much and right now I know I'm not thinking clearly. I still feel disconnected. Every time I've had a bad mania like that happen it's been because of smoking pot. I don't know if it's because my birthday is on Thursday or if it is because of the weed. But I honestly still feel right now off. Like I need to be in the hospital. But I just got a new job. I want to go do stuff and be around people but then get depressed because I don't have anyone to hang out with that my boyfriend would approve of. (Most of my friends are guys and exboyfriends). I don't even think I'm putting this post together coherently. Not to mention I have different personalities and I'm not sure which one is actually bipolar. I think I'm ranting not sure what could help me here.

[~Christina]

I would say drop the pot and drinking , obviously it's virtually impossible to find stability while drinking or street drugs are involved.

Do you want psych help ? Meds? Are you seeing a Therapist?

Do you have DID?

I don't know what DL means , I'm sure it's something simple that I can't remember.

[Victoria'smom]

Call your psychiatrist, get back on meds. Are the meds helping? pot can cause derealization.

[Nickiskip]

I have DID. DL means down low (closeted gay) my meds will be refilled Tuesday I see my therapist Wednesday. I get an STD test on Monday.

[Wild Coyote]

Must have been shocking to discover your BF is on the DL. I'd think it would be very unsettling to say the least. Relationship changes/break-ups can be very stressful, so please practice a lot of self-care. Good for you on seeing your T and on getting STD testing.


WC

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Nickiskip

I have DID. DL means down low (closeted gay) my meds will be refilled Tuesday I see my therapist Wednesday. I get an STD test on Monday.

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. That would rattle me greatly as well. I'm glad you're seeing your therapist, refilling your meds and getting an STD test. I hope things start looking up soon. Best wishes.

I agree with the others and your own observations that pot and booze will do you no good. You need to be able to think as clearly as possible right now. I'm so sorry for what you discovered your man searching on the internet. Our loved ones misbehaving can sure have a horrible impact on us. It's not right or fair and I'm deeply sorry you are dealing with that.

I agree with the other posters. And to answer the question you posed in the title of your thread (with the disclaimer that we're not professionals and can't diagnose), it does not sound like a mixed episode, but it definitely strikes me as the kind of chaotic emotions one can feel in discovering something as upsetting as you did.

They began with the discovery and seem a very natural normal response, not bipolar.

I hope you feel better soon. That is without a doubt a hugely upsetting thing.

[Wild Coyote]

WC