[MtnTime2896]

It's debatable whether or not I actually have them. Due to having PTSD, I can have different sensory flashbacks and I regularly live with hypervigilance. I'm just curious as to what I could use to distinguish the two. I won't lie to you, in my hypomanic states, I've hallucinated about a woman standing or sitting at the end of my hallway. I've also heard people call me when no one's home. Someone called me a ***** at one point and I just thought, "What a rude ****er," honestly assuming it to be a ghost or something (my belief regarding the supernatural goes back and forth). At my most depressed I can swear that this stuff is happening, as well. Though, it's never as bad as when I'm "up". At either state, more so in hypo, I swore that I was going to be possessed or something (for me it always seems to be religious, though I have no faith). My fiance had to tell me that the "people" I was seeing walking the street outside weren't there. It took a bit but they went away.

Right now, I keep thinking people are talking to me through music. I think I'm going to turn it off and watch a movie or something. I'm not "up" at all, I'm actually pretty depressed right now. I'm just scared that I'm experiencing something that's going to screw me up more. I know I'm not schizoaffective, before anyone asks. I've never really hallucinated other than at either extreme.

And now I'm having a panic attack. Awesome. Time for me to swear I'm having a heart attack. My left arm's already going numb. Nice. Great night, tonight. Woohoo.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

It's so hard to handle this stuff. I Hope your panic attack ended. I have similar experiences but mostly am unable (too afraid something bad will happen if I do) to tell my therapist or pdoc. So no diagnosis.

Unless I'm manic/very mixed I think it is mostly PTSD stuff. For me it tends to be things I can find reasons for. When I'm up or mixed there is no reason for what I'm experiencing.

It's very difficult. As you know. I"m sorry I'm not much help; I woke up and saw this and wanted you to have an answer but I don't have a good one.

[MtnTime2896]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

It's so hard to handle this stuff. I Hope your panic attack ended. I have similar experiences but mostly am unable (too afraid something bad will happen if I do) to tell my therapist or pdoc. So no diagnosis.

Unless I'm manic/very mixed I think it is mostly PTSD stuff. For me it tends to be things I can find reasons for. When I'm up or mixed there is no reason for what I'm experiencing.

It's very difficult. As you know. I"m sorry I'm not much help; I woke up and saw this and wanted you to have an answer but I don't have a good one.

Thanks for replying. Makes me feel less alone tonight. I forgot about what I hear when I'm mixed, though I think what I deal with then is more centered around my PTSD. That makes sense, find a reason and if one's not there then it could be a hallucination.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I try really, really hard to talk my way through it if I can. I just talk out loud and as loud as I need to to cover the thoughts in my head. (Obviously this only works when alone in my house). Once I got very upset because there was a lightning bug in my house spying on me. It was there all day and I was frustrated about it but when it appeared in the shower I starting crying and panicking. But in a few minutes I made myself say out loud what was going on and was able to see it was just a bug. I had to repeat that like a mantra until thing was gone but it did help. It doesn't always work but sometimes. It also helped when I was very paranoid about taking showers. I thought either someone would break in and attack me (PTSD) or the shower would fall through the floor and I'd be killed. So I took really fast showers yelling "It's ok, it's safe, it's ok" over and over. (I also made sure the house was locked tight, the shower curtain was clear and the bathroom door open so I couldn't be surprised. I guess I'm saying I adjust my life to minimize hallucinations? Probably I should someday talk to my therapist about this...

Other times there just aren't explanations. One winter I had a bag of stuff to hand to homeless people in my car and saw someone and pulled into a parking lot. In the few seconds it took me to reach inside the back seat to get the bag he "disappeared". There was no where for him to have gone. So I guess he wasn't real.

I'm getting off here to fall back asleep in a minute; meds are making my head swimmy. Which is good. I hope you too can get some rest.