[raspberrytorte]

Right now we live with my husband's parents. Long story as to why, but it's my fault. Our plan is to move out in May because, between my husband's check and my disability, we should be able to pay off all of my medical debt.

We have a five year old daughter.

His parents are very nice and very supportive and I'm very grateful they've helped us out like this.

It's just that... they interfere when I'm trying to parent!

Today was the worst incident that has occurred yet.

Daughter doesn't want to pick up her toys. Me trying to get her to pick up her toys by asking.

Father-in-law tells her to help me.

She starts doing it but very slowly. Then she stops and starts playing with a car and being silly.

I try persuading her by telling her she won't be able to watch her favorite cartoon later in the day if she doesn't help me. Father-in-law comes into the room and sits on a chair by us. He commands me to sit on the couch and make her pick up her toys by herself. I say no because I want to vacuum.

At this point I'm feeling very uncomfortable because he's sitting right there and I feel like he's watching over me. It's making me tense and anxious. It's seriously stressing me out because I can feel him getting more and more angry, and in turn it's making me more and more freaked out and stressed.

Daughter starts picking up her toys again, but slowly.

Father-in-law tells me that I need to make her pick them all up by herself or she's not going to learn to be responsible.

I again say that I want to vacuum and don't want to wait five hours!

Daughter keeps on picking them up, a car at a time.

Father-in-law is getting mad because she's not doing it faster.

I'm freaking more and more out.

Father-in-law yells at her to do it faster and not just make me do it, even if I'm not just doing it.

I'm getting more and more stressed out because I feel like my parenting is under a damn microscope! And it is! This has happened before. They're always interfering, disciplining her when it's my responsibility and I can handle it on my own! They've already told my husband they think I need to be more strict and am, essentially, a big pushover.

Daughter stops again and becomes silly.

Father-in-law is getting increasingly angry, and that's stressing me out because I can't handle it when men raise their voices out of anger. It scares me.

I finally can't take it anymore and scream, "PICK UP YOUR ****ING TOYS!!!!!!!!"

**** just came out. I didn't mean to say that.

Father-in-law completely loses it! He picks up all of her toys, puts them in the bag, tells my daughter she's not going to get her toys until he talks to my husband, storms out of the room with the toys, and says, "HAVE A GOOD NIGHT."

I have no idea where he put them.

I'm so stressed out. I didn't mean to swear.

Father-in-law really scares me. I'm so anxious on the days when he's at the house all day because I'm worried my daughter is going to misbehave and he's going to freak out at her.

Five more months. FIVE MORE MONTHS.

Sorry. This was just a vent.

I'm really upset.

[wildflowerchild25]

Oh in laws. They always think they know best. I remember an incident with my mother in law when my son was around two. He was being bratty and I was disciplining him but apparently not to her liking. She told me she wanted to smack me. I was shocked. I asked why and she said I should be HITTING MY SON When he acted like that and if I was t going to hit him, she wanted to hit me. I freaked out and told my husband that we were LEAVING and I never wanted to see her again. We eventually worked it out but thank god I wasn't living with her at the time (though I did before I had my son).

I live with my mom now and I feel like she's judging me sometimes. She doesn't think I'm strict enough either which is a ****ing joke because she literally stayed upstairs 90% of the time when we were growing up and we could literally do anything we wanted. I can't believe she would even utter the word strict.

It's tough living with other people who try to butt in on your parenting but you're right, only five more months of it. You can do it!

[raspberrytorte]

Thanks, wildflower.

That is what it feels like, that they're judging me all of the time!

And they don't do this with my husband! It's always just with me! Maybe because I stay home with her.

That's horrible your mother-in-law told you to hit your son.

[MobiusPsyche]

Even if it were about how to fold a blanket and not something as intimate as parenting...I couldn't handle someone standing over me and silently critiquing every move I made.

[bizi]

I am so sorry that happened to you.
how awful.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I don't have any words that will help but wanted to add my support.

[pirilin]

Hey Rasps,
Though situation. One you need to concentrate all your efforts in.
Sadly, spouses never belong to the family most of the time. It's not you.
I'm sure he also applied that rigid discipline to your husband.
What was normal yesterday, is child abuse today.
Talk to your husband and ask for his help.
All the best to you!!!. Luv.

[Ocean Swimmer]

Hang in there.
Maybe have a private talk with the father in law. Praise him. Ask his advice.
If daughter is unwilling to mind,maybe offer only two or three toys at a time. Ask father in law if he thinks this could work.
He wants to participate. It's his home.
I'm not taking his side. Just looking at it from his point of view.
Yes. I know it's hard. And yes. What was old fashioned discipline in the old days is child abuse today.
I understand.