[MatBell]

I don't like weekends. I'm forced to stop op, look around and see how alone I am. During the week I can keep myself busy a lot of the time. Now I'm thinking why I keep on going, who do I keep on going for? I think back and wonder where it all went wrong, why I am the way I am. I have no love in my life. I would love to just disappear...

[Moose72]

I have no love in my life either.

[Gabyunbound]

I have no romantic love in my life either, you're not alone. It doesn't mean that someone won't come along at some point.

And there are different kinds of love. There's friendship, family (if that applies to you, including family of origin). I have a small cadre of friends and a couple of family members I'm close to. To me that's enough. I'm often alone on weekends, but alone doesn't have to equate with loneliness -remember that. You can be alone and enjoy that time of rest (i.e. from work) and read or watch TV/movies, eat when you want (not on someone else's schedule), or do whatever you enjoy and distracts you.

You're not alone in being 'alone' nor, for that matter in being lonely. But it's not the end of the world. Things may well change and meanwhile you can enjoy this time you have to yourself.

[hopeless2015]

Sending hugs your way!!

[gayleggg]

I keep going for my daughter. She just turned 40 but still keeps me going.

I'm sorry you don't have anyone to keep going for. You are not alone. Just keep moving forward.

[mossanimal]

I just had about a month of almost the exactly the same thoughts and then I came out of the cave. You will too.. hang in there.

[boogiesmash]

Mat I've had similar thoughts. I thought who would actually care if I'm gone. And wonder if I'll ever get a girlfriend again and why can't I now. I still have those thoughts every once in a while. I do have hope I'll get one. I've been practicing dbt. Look into it it may help.

[xRavenx]

I feel the same way, actually. I also look back on my life and wonder where things went wrong, and think about how I really didn't sign up for this. I wonder if anything will ever change. During mania, I feel a false, short-lived sense of importance, but that comes crashing down hard, and then reality sets in.

I agree with the above suggestions. (((hugs))) Continue to post whenever you feel you just need to let things out. Any healthy personal outlet can help.

[~Christina]

I felt the exact same thing. What did I do ? I adopted a puppy from the local pound.

He made me get up and take him out. He makes me take him for walks. He brightens my day. He's always happy to see me, he is my Emotion support animal

Some people just can't have a pet for housing reasons of course ... my daughter found a half dead kitten in her apartment complex. His name is Cosmos and she's so happy she kept him once she nursed him back to health.

I have no physical friends to do stuff with , I have some great friends online.

Maybe foster a pet?

All I know is my dog at times literally keeps me half way sane.

I'm sorry you're hurting so much (((( hug ))))