ill, bored and depressed: writing a poem

Nothing to do, so my creativity comes back slowly, felt the need to share.
Translated from German, so never mind the mistakes (please )

My life often seems to consist
solely of loose ends,
of thousands of erratically chosen ways,
of thousands of interrupted beginnings,
as if I were locked up in a labyrinth
without a way out.
I often seem to be forever trapped
In my insomnia, my restlessness,
That drives me from bar to bar,
From body to body, from idea to idea,
And I toss and turn between the sheets
Hijacked and run over
By thoughts that flash up like stars
Before extinction.
I often just want to shut myself up,
So that the riot in my head
Will come to an end
And give a break to my
Exhausted limbs.
Often, when the darkness
Comes over me,
Like I am used to,
I want to pray for salvation
And do not, because I don’t know
To whom to turn to with my pleading.
But, even though I often think,
That I walked my way up to the end,
That I am already hopelessly lost
And there is no gleam of hope left for me,
I know, deep within me,
That always, and mostly all of a sudden,
Everything returns back to order,
That the loose ends will merge,
The veil will lift,
The dark will withdraw
To the borders of my mind,
The restlessness die down
And the thoughts stop to circle
My head like planets.
And I open my eyes,
Like someone who recovered
From a long illness.
It pays off to wait for these moments,
In these moments I am myself,
And these moments I can rely on.
Even though I may never be able
To live as quietly as many other people
I know that beyond all my seething
And my tempests,
There is a person that,
Torn between two extremes,
Knows to keep her balance
- for moments.

I think that's good.

thanks for sharing

That's excellent. You captured a unique experience accurately and honestly, without pretentiousness, and with a very poignant profound revelation at the end. It's worthy of publication. Do you submit to journals?

Thank you so much!
I did publish two books in Germany, well, in German. I would love to go on publishing but I don't know where to send my stuff to and my editorial sucks by now.

Good poem - thanks for sharing!