trapped

Recently I stumbled upon this cite, and I never knew there was such a large support base for mental illness-so thank you to anyone who cares to help another. Sorry, this might be a bit long, but I am in a dark place.

I am a student, and have noticed my behavior changing erratically over the last couple of years and have started to keep track of it. My friend who was diagnosed with depression and is very informed about MIs gave me advice that I should seek therapy, or at least a doctor. My symptoms include 4-6 weeks of incredible energy followed by 8+ weeks of complete lack of productivity/no care for anything. She was the first to tell me I exhibit signs of bipolar disorder-and I agree.

My parents (to be blunt) are racist and homophobic and have criticized my friends for being of a different ethnicity (they are firm Christians, so I try not to despise them for their fundamental values, but it’s hard not to be disgusted). In addition to that, they are not accepting of MIs and view mental illness as something people do to get attention. So, it is very hard for me to express my feelings and approach them with honesty about the pain and pressure I have been experiencing because each time I bring it up, they think I just want attention. I have begun to withdraw from them.

I know I need to seek help, but I do not have the resources to do so. Fear is an understatement; I am petrified to tell them anything. I realize it is getting worse because this past week I have not been able to function, and I can’t even struggle to find any semblance of purpose and I cry too often. Everything just feels grey. I feel stuck, I want to function normally, but every day I feel like I fall a little further...
Should I approach them or would that make it worse? I am at a loss

You said you are a student can you see a counselor at your school and see if they can help you find a way to approach your parents?

That's a tough situation to be in. I agree about trying to see a counsellor at your school as a start. Do you depend on your parents financially? Is that why you don't seek help from a psychologist or psychiatrist? With their views it may be very difficult to get them to understand your MI but if you have a therapist they may agree to go along and the T can educate them and hopefully open their minds a bit.

Read up as much as you can about Bipolar and how to manage it as there are many things you can do outside of medication that can help you cope better. Maybe a CBT or DBT workbook? Keep posting here. We are here to help you.

Also, go online to Nami. Check to see if a Dbsa group meets in your area. ( free). Parents come also join. Learn with you.

To access a counselor the process is extensive because our school is so big. Great idea I need to work up the courage to try it >.<

Good luck. There are a lot of free or reduced priced programs out there, you just have to look for them. There is help! Good luck.

Who cares what your parents think. You would think that they would put their beliefs aside to care for their children. I would still talk to them regardless and not quit being you to please them. It's not your fault for being you. If they won't listen to the needs of their child over their assumed ideals...they definitely are unfit to be parents...then you need to seek ourside help like at your school or something....a teacher...counselor....nurse....

Hang in their sweety....there are people that do care and are willibg to help regardless of what you are happening to be dealing with now.