[ComfortablyNumb5]

My dad is a major trigger. Actually on xmas night I had to the ER from three days of attacks from just seeing him . I then realized I have to stay away from my family as much as possible for my own mental health.

Well during this time, I got my bro to go to rehab. I made the calls, I drove him an huour and a half away. Mind you, my car is over 20 years old! So my brothers rehabs is now done and my dad asked if I can pick my bro up. I said "dad I can't afford and the car is messed. and the threads of my damn tire showing" wanna know what he said to me after that?! He texted back telling me I'm a nasty person. Cuz I couldn't pick up my bro from hehab. Like I could pop pop tire going 80mph on my way. But wait, I'm. Nasty!

Now
I'm sitting here, just want to sleep it off. But my own father calls me "nasty" and said I'm full of crap with my BP and stop being depressed and find a damn job. I had to go to the ER AGAIN a few week ago for severe sepression. like
No other. So i texted my to let him know. Well
Guess what he said to this one..."fine go to the hospital you're selfish and I'm wasting my time to come see you'

I can't take anymore manipulative and abuse. It cause a snow ball effect where it just gets bigger and bigger

Thanks to listenin to my BS! I'm going through a really bad time right now. Had to be put in welbutrin from (trigger) i was absolutely obsessing about ending this pain but I lied to them in the ER and said I'm not a harm my self. All I was wanted was a damn AD and they put wellbutein that is helping.

[VanGore28]

My step dad wasn't nice about me when I got unwell at 18.
You know one thing I heard him say was "i wish she had gotten ill sooner so we could have put her into care"
He called me "a pitiful human being"
You just have to learn to not let it get to you. It used to make me incandescent with rage I would simmer silently. I turned my anger into being driven to succeed. I took up running, read hundreds of books, quietly plotting till I was strong enough to go back out into the world.
I learned to forgive them. But I fell out with them first. Was completely alone. Its ok to cry but you have to stay strong.
If your brother has issues too it reasons to say that maybe he wasn't the best parent he could have been.
You seem to have developed a strategy, by just seeing him when you have to....so at least you have space.

Please don't take any drastic action. Find something that keeps you going until you find help, something that you enjoy, a release, an outlet. Or just reach out on here....your doing the right things

[Hobbit House]

I know it hurts but a complete separation from your father may be in order. Nobody should ever have to put up with emotional abuse. At least for a while... give him a opportunity for self reflection.

[hopeless2015]

Definitely see a pattern here with your dad...so sorry you have to deal with this, sending big hugs RX

[Eddiesmom]

I feel for you! My family can be triggering, I try not to hear it but it swirls in it my brain maybe you should cut off contact but that can be difficult too, hugs to you I am thinking of you through these tough times. Lela

[pirilin]

You can't force anybody to love you. But you can force them to respect you.

[Unrigged64072835]

I didn't put up with my father for many years. Only talked to him after my mother died. He still was an ornery old coot. They're both gone now, but I still deal with the abuse.

[boogiesmash]

I'm sorry that your dad is being a jerk. Feel free to vent away.

[raspberrytorte]

Hugs, rx. I don't have advice, but sorry your dad is being so mean. Maybe don't talk to him for awhile, if he's so triggering.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Thank you everyone for the support! I'm glad I'm not alone here!