[HolisticGal]

I feel like I have to expend extra effort to behave "normally". On Friday, I was so hyped up, I APPEARED TO BE HIGH ON SPEED/COCAINE/METH.

When manic, my eyes dilate so that I become light sensitive. Of course the lack of impulse caused me to... take out my sunglasses during the interview and wear them! I realized this was abnormal so I pulled them off intermittently. (I'm now like who was that - not me!).

The energy was skyrocketing. I involuntarily make bug eyes/large eyes when it's rushing through me. (BP, according to some scientists, isn't a mood disorder but actually an energy disorder). One of the interviewers was keenly watching me because he had made that face, you know what I'm talking about, when I had initially ran into the office and began looking around the room and rapidly talking instead of calmly introducing myself. During the interview, I had successfully and intelligently answered the questions, intentionally trying to slow my speech.

During a break while another interviewer went to retrieve something, I slipped and began bouncing my knee. It was just a few seconds but I caught a glimps of the watcher noticing! Crap!! My cover was blown.

There were other odd behaviors that I exhibited and I think honestly they have never had a psych candidate interview with them.

This is not the first interview I have sabotaged with manic behavior. I prefer to be on the depressed side but then it appears that I'm not having a "positive, energetic demeanor". Fudge.

Help! Tips??

[*Laurie*]

Hi HolisticGal, Since the interview already took place I'm not sure what kind of tips you're looking for. Are you in treatment with a therapist and/or pdoc?

[HolisticGal]

Well, still searching - need job - so more interviews to come!
Pdoc - yes
Therapist - tried 20. Not into them. (Schizotypal personality disorder).

I realize this is odd behavior so pdoc says I'm in touch with reality.

[Gabyunbound]

Do you think your hypomanic behavior was triggered/induced by the anxiety of being in an interview? If so, maybe you can work with someone to lower that anxiety so as not to trigger this behavior. I know that high anxiety coupled with a lot of pressure can be a trigger for me going into hypomanic-like behavior. Have you found that this behavior continues afterwards for a couple of weeks? If not, as I say, it might be the pressure of the interview itself. Maybe once you've dealt with that, the behaviors and feelings will go away with it. Best of luck; I know you really need work and this sabotaging it must be very very frustrating!

[HolisticGal]

Yes yes yes - that's it!! I actually have been hypo for the past few weeks, or mixed. And this particular day I had just 4 hours sleep and woke up soooooo hypersexual. I am STILL hypersexual and have to watch porn for a couple of hours which is such a waste of time. But enjoyable...

Ok if I'm short on sleep + anxious, as that is sometimes unavoidable, should I watch more porn or go for a run or something? Just make myself tired so I go in somewhat less hypo.

[Cdnstargazer]

Wow! I'm not the only one! I can tell when I feel manic because my eyes bug out of my face too! And my smile is some bizzare manic smile... it's kinda creepy actually so I try not to smile awkwardly when I realize I'm manic.

[Nova567]

All you can do is learn from this experience.
If you feel manic and know you have an interview but feel way too high the day you have to go, maybe you can try some relaxation techniques to calm down? I know when I'm hypo I have the hardest time calming down, but sometimes I can get myself to appear "normal" for a half hour to a few hours by deep breathing and some meditation techniques. It slows down my speech and appearance even if my mind is a million miles a minute.

[bioChE]

I think the relaxation technique of porn has already been mentioned.

[Nova567]

Originally Posted by bioChE

I think the relaxation technique of porn has already been mentioned.

Hey, it helps me calm down too! It's a good technique to have learned

[bioChE]

Originally Posted by Nova567

Hey, it helps me calm down too! It's a good technique to have learned

No judgement here, I think the world could use a little more self-luv.

[HolisticGal]

You guys are hilarious!!

Ya I keep going over it in my head (and cracking up especially about popping on and off my funky sunglasses and the watcher's "oh" with eye aversion response). And a not so professional dramatic statement BP style after two hours of testing, "OMG I've been here forever!!"

Next time I def will do some deep breathing, at least in the car on the way over. I will place the invisible protective cloak over me but unfortunately, the only thing that gives me away is my bug eyes because I have to concentrate else I slip.

Well, I'm off for some more relaxation therapy.... just don't check my browser history.