[Shadowmeph]

this is kind of hard , I was feeling pretty good . seen my Psyc Doc she prescribed Quietiapine so that I could get better sleep . I slept ok that night felt really messed up the whole next Day . so that night cut the pill in half took it . felt a little off the next day , went to see my Doc he told me that my Psyc Doc said for me to stay on those pills then later is going to add some other Pills but that because of the area that I live I have to Switch to a different Psyc DOc in a different town.

anyway that Day I go to the place I was previously working bought a coffee and my Old supervisor confronts me asking why I was there ( goes to my original first post https://forums.psychcentral.com/bipo...iend-ship.html ) . anyway we spoke , I get my free second cup off coffee my Old supervisor comes back and confronts me telling me that the Upstairs administration wants me to leave which I found very strange so I later emailed the GM of the Mall asking why there is a problem with me drinking coffee in the food court .

I Never heard Back from the GM . I live alone and have only One real friend, I called her today and was talking to her told her what happened she told me that I was way in left field which in one way made total sense but the other side scares me as to myself not realizing this in the first place .
AM I ever going to get better .
I am still working for other security companies doing event security and am fine or at least feel fine.
I am starting to wonder about my reality and am wondering if I should go back on medical leave .
I feel like I am in a dream state almost like there is some type of a barrier or wall I have to push past to get back to normal.

[Skeezyks]

I hope you are able to find your way through this difficult time.

[Shadowmeph]

I am still battling only have one friend ( true friend) that I trust and well she is going through allot of personal things at this time. but she is telling me to stay on Medical leave . today I am all over the place again . part of me wants to stop the meds because they make me feel like I am dreaming also my Dreams and my reality are getting a little confusing. I will get a memory of something I did or from my past but when I focus on these memories I realize they are actually dreams ( recent) . when I seen my Psyc doc she asked me if I was hallucinating I said no but do these dreams constitute hallucination? I still am wondering if this is Bipolar I am so mixed up.

[bioChE]

Are you talking about dreams when you are asleep, or daydream types?

[Shadowmeph]

to be honest I am not sure I think they are dreams sleep but I actually don't remember dreaming when I sleep..

on a slightly different note I am wondering if distracting my self watching downloaded TV shows or movies and Gaming on my PC is a good thing or should I be facing going through these emotions .