Bipolar and Alcohol

I haven’t had any since the work karaoke party. The big boss likes karaoke.

I regret it a little. I don’t hold my alcohol well. When it was my turn, I went wild. I even ferociously attacked a table, using it as a ‘piano.’

I kind of think my coworker doesn’t hold his alcohol very well, either. At the last company meeting, when it was his turn to talk, he complimented me on how well I had played the piano. That got a laugh, because he was serious

I didn’t drink at the Christmas party.

Doing really bad lately. Christmas was hard. I’m on like, my 10th beer and not even drunk. I promise myself this is it. No waiting till New Years, tonight is it.

You know, I don't like this idea of starting the days sober count all over from the beginning when you lapse. I know it's a common thing, but it seems to negate all the hard work you put in staying sober each previous time. Doesn't that count for something? Doesn't it makes things even more frustrated if they take that away from you?

Of course it counts for something. Who is this “they” you are referring to when you say they take it away from you? The only one you have to report to is yourself. If you’re referring to AA, it’s not like they’re the oversight committee or something, and it’s not the only way to stay sober. It’s merely the default that people and doctors point you to when they don’t have any other answers.

I’m not denigrating AA, I think it’s overall a great organization and it has helped countless alcoholics find and maintain sobriety. That being said, there are countless more who have found sobriety in other ways and means. With the others however, there’s not some huge international organization that someone can point you to in order to get help. All that being said, I’ve had vastly different experiences with AA in the various regions of the country I’ve lived in. And if you don’t happen to fit in with the groups in your region (the different areas all have a distinct “personality”), then they can do more harm than good.

Count days, don’t count days, call yourself an alcoholic, don’t call yourself an alcoholic, find God (or a higher power), don’t find God, follow a sponsor, don’t follow a sponsor.....it’s all up to you. There is no “they” forcing you to do anything, unless you’re court-ordered, in which case you’re paying for something you fuucked up yourself.

Other means of staying sober - therapy, groups other than AA (many of whom don’t count days), finding God on your own, reading books, journaling about your feelings as soon as you sober up and use that to remember it’s not all good times, finding a friend you can lean on if you feel like you want to drink and don’t want to, learning to drink in moderation (yes, it is possible), and a whole host of others.

The important thing is you find your own path, whatever works for you, and that in the end you don’t feel like shiit for being yourself. Also, it’s important that you don’t harm others or yourself in the process. Self-acceptance goes a long way in searching for a balance in life. I hope you all find peace.

I cannot even have one drink anymore. With all the meds I'm taking, even a little bit makes me very drowsy.

I used to abuse alcohol many years ago. I went to AA for a while and it helped being around people. There are many ways to stay sober, but find what works best for you.

I haven't suffered from alcoholism but there was a few years where I drank most days. I knew I had a problem when I would rub my mouth and immediately crave a bottle of wine or tequila. It was like a twitch.

I don't drink much anymore out of fear of mixing with the meds. Doesn't stop me from drinking, I just drink much less.

Good luck with staying sober. You have the ability, don't get so down on yourself for having a drink. You can learn from mistakes.

I can totally relate to your struggles with alcohol. I wouldn’t consider myself an alcoholic, but I definitely use it as a crutch. I feel a bit like a Jekyll and Hyde. During the day, I am virtually a carcass; I can barely get out of the bed in the morning, and feel chest pains, nausea, and fogginess throughout the day.

When the clock strikes 5, however, I am “a new man.” My wife and I will have a glass of wine, that turns into 2, then 3. This binge drinking is destructive on many fronts:
(1) Medication. I am taking Lamictal and Wellbutrin. Obviously, adding alcohol to the mix makes these medications less effective
(2) Hangovers. The next day I feel like hell on earth, as if the symptoms have been magnified out of proportion: fatigue, nausea, self-defeatism.
(3) Lack of self control. Excessive alcohol leads to impaired judgment: I end up wolfing down a tub of ice cream, several candy bars, or some other sugar filled items that will add to my hangover the next day. Not to mention expand my waistline.
(4) Complications in relationships. When drunk, I am engaging, humorous, and “the life of the party.” However, the next day I am unrecognizable (see #2 above). People don’t understand this detached personality (in contrast to the gregarious version they’d seen last night), and think that I am just a jerk, or don’t like them.

I really wish I could drink in more moderation – maybe 2-3 drinks on the weekend, instead of each night. It’s really messed with my recovery; I know, however, that I can’t turn it down. There’s something seductive about that first sip of Cabernet Sauvignon, or a pairing of a Sauvignon Blanc with a good cheese.

Thanks for sharing; this really helped me.

I struggled with drugs and alcohol for 30 years or so. I just quit. I didn't have a problem, per se, but when I partied, I went bonkers. So I turned away from all my "friends" and I just started with a clean slate. I can't be around them anymore. In my life, substance abuse is triangulated with mania, not depression. So instead of seeking all those manic "good times" that made me the life of the party, I walked away. I haven't spoken to some of the old party gang in three years - none of them knows I'm BP. To channel my need for challenges and a good time, I took up new hobbies at 50 like climbing mountains and building models. Not only is it fun, it's therapeutic as well.

I have fallen off the wagon a bit. Over the Christmas holiday, I had some beers and a few shots of whiskey. I saved some whiskey leftover and every day I have been having a shot here and there. i am not drowning in the bottle, but I know that there is no good that come of this.

What's worse is I am pondering buying a bottle of whiskey for myself, which I haven't done in I don't know how many years. I really hope it doesn't get out of control.

It will get out of control.

I have alcohol issues too. I feel like its common with us bipolars.

Just remember that you are worth more than drinking, and make tomorrow day 1 again.

I struggled with being an alcoholic for about a year .. it took me almost getting arrested for me to wake up and realize what I was doing wasn't okay anymore. I started drinking heavily after a bad breakup as a way to try and cope then it just spiraled downwards from there. I will rarely have a drink now, and I had my first taste of alcohol a few days ago. Since I haven't drank in over 3 months, I woke up with a raging headache and I had very little tolerance for the two drinks I had. I've just accepted that it's not for me. I know there will be more temptations since I'm about to move back home around my friends and they all drink, but I will have to be stronger than the pressure of trying to "fit it". I'm only 24 so I learned at a young age that alcohol is no good for me. I remember blacking out a lot because I would drink soo excessively .. and I usually did really stupid stuff when that happened. Many embarrassing stories around my drinking, most are harmless but a few times it got really serious. I never thought I would be admitting I had issues with alcohol since I saw the dangers of it at a very young age. But it happened and I became the person I never wanted to be. However, I'm doing better now and probably won't touch alcohol for a very long time again, if ever.

So far it has been a slippery slope. I DID end up buying that bottle of whiskey, and have been taking sips and shots here and there. I feel the compulsion to do it, because things have been really hard lately, and I have been struggling with my sleep. Also, I have been in a slump because of a streak of really bad luck.

I am hanging in there though. I am trying to make this one bottle last as long as it can. I know it's no excuse, and it can easily get out of control, but I am so dependent it's kinda scary.

For me BP and alcoholism are intertwined. I first start drinking heavily in an untreated state of mania. I got treatment for BP, but my drinking continued until it was obvious to those closest to me that I was an alcoholic.

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So for all my bipolar friends I ask you, have you struggled with alcohol? How did you overcome it? Are you struggling now? And also I am going to use this thread as a check-in for myself for my sober days.
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I overcame my desire to drink through AA

I no longer struggle with alcohol. I go to meetings, have a sponsor, and work the steps. It works for me.

Been sober since 2015.

I'm Bipolar II and battled alcoholism for most of my life...self-medicating...until I went through my third (unsuccessful) rehab and was examined by a psychiatrist. Should have been treated as dual diagnosis all along but..oh ****...someone forgot my psych eval! Too make a long story short, once I was taking proper medications I just stopped drinking period and have been sober for going on 8 years.

"About 45 percent of people with bipolar disorder also have an alcohol use disorder.
The combination of bipolar disorder and alcohol misuse can have severe consequences. People with both conditions are likely to have more severe bipolar symptoms. They may also have a higher risk of dying by suicide."

I have never been an alcoholic although I was getting drunk on a daily basis for about 2 years. It never affected my life and I quit without any withdraws or cravings. Guess I am one of the lucky ones.

So, I managed to lay off the whiskey a bit. I think it helped improve my mood A LOT. I always thought all that talk of it being mostly a depressant was hooey because it never acted that way with me.....until now.

I noticed how it has been bringing down my mood, so I just opted out and am going cold turkey again. At least for a while anyway.

Did anyone know that Amy Whinehouse died because she STOPPED drinking alcohol? Apparently if you drink like ridiculously and then suddenly stop cold, you can die. Heroin doesn't even act like that.

Scary!

I have had problems with it. After my first divorce, I crawled into a bottle. I used to drink 5-6 ciders a day, but I've cut that down to 2-3 glasses of wine. My problem is pot. I can't seem to stop smoking it.

I am clearer headed, since 11-28-17 I have had 55 days of alcohol free days. except for one Drunk day on 1-02-18 planned. And I have lost weight. I was drinking really fattening beers 200-250 a drink, 2-3 a night and putting on weight one pound a week. I added a medication and it gave me the stability that I needed to regain control over my life. I have lost 15 pounds in 9 weeks too.
bizi

According to statistics presented by the
American Journal of Managed Care:
About 56 percent of individuals with bipolar
who participated in a national study had
experienced drug or alcohol addiction
during their lifetime.
Approximately 46 percent of that group
had abused alcohol or were addicted to alcohol.

Wow! Scary statistics! I can't say that I am surprised. It seems being bipolar and some sort of addiction go hand in hand unfortunately. Well, for those I have known anyway, and of course, in my case.

On the alcohol front, I still have my bottle of whiskey, still unfinished. The good news? Since I haven't been completely denying myself, and have had a few sips/shots, here and there over the past month, I have managed to stay balanced without ovedoing it. It's interesting that the temptation isn't there even though the bottle is right in my room with me.

I am not completely recovered though. Like I said I still take sips/shots, but defintiely to the excess to what I have done in my past. I don't even think I will even need to buy another bottle anytime soon, I am going to make this one stretch for as long as I can.

Alcohol only becomes a problem to me when I'm depressed. I mostly drink wine, rarely anything stronger than that. But when I'm depressed I may drink several days in a row, less or more.

During hypomanic episodes I feel mostly so "drunk on life" that I don't feel like I need alcohol. I may feel like partying and go out with my friends and stay sober. A few times my friends have said that I seem the most drunk, although I haven't had a drink. I know most of people drink when they are hypomanic, but I personally try to avoid it because I don't want anything to ruin it. Sometimes no matter how good I feel without alcohol, my poor judgment leads me to drink multiple drinks in a short time (and I feel so good that I don't even remember that I have been depressed).

I have noticed that my mood is very sensitive to alcohol. Alcohol can easily cause a switch. I guess that's why I tend to drink when I'm depressed, I am wishing for a switch, or a miracle to happen, but I know that isn't very wise because alcohol is a depressant.

Other times when I tend to drink is the very end of my hypomanic episodes. I don't know if it's because I can feel the crash coming and I try to stop it by drinking alcohol, to keep my mood up, or if it's the alcohol that triggers the depression.

Well, anyway, I have periods when alcohol is a problem and I should keep myself away from drinking huge amounts of alcohol at a time.