[Cdnstargazer]

Yesterday I agreed to take a break from alcohol. I didn't specify how long that break would be but I made that decision myself.

My dr and I had trialed a low dose of 25mg seroquel at bedtime for me because in the winter, 50mg was too much for me. Well now I wait for my dr again to probably bump my dose back to 50mg to make the paranoia quiet in my mind and calm the inner rage I've been feeling.

Now I love my partner, but ugh I am so mad... she wants to go to my drs Apts and tell my dr how to run my medications...

When my partner told me that I'd probably be on medication for life because I don't practice mindfulness, exercise and eat as healthy as her. I am so pissed. I don't think she understands that some of my mood/ energy swings are bipolar and not every swing is borderline... I hate the idea of being on medication for life but I just feel like she was grating on my nerves last night... as if I could pull myself up with my bootstraps and get better with "just" exercise, meditation etc.

Why does she want to go to your doctor appts? Did she really say (or insinuate) that she wants to tell your doctor how to run your medications? If that's true, then I don't blame you for being concerned. No one should try to play "doctor". If you're not sure, then maybe she's genuinely concerned and wants you to get the help you need?

I obviously don't know you, but I'm just trying to understand her point of view. It sounds like she's really worried about you. And this may be a stretch, but I'm wondering if she thinks you're not taking good care of yourself when you're off medications. That could be why she said "be on medication for life because I don't practice mindfulness, exercise and eat as healthy as her".

Yes, obviously mindfulness, exercise, and healthy eating aren't necessarily enough to help with bipolar. However, her point is that she believes you need to come up with healthy coping mechanisms when you're off medication so that you can thrive instead of suffer. She just doesn't know which kinds of coping mechanisms are best for you because she's not a doctor or a therapist. That's why she gave examples, albeit sh_tty ones.

I'm not trying to be a jerk at all! Just trying to play devil's advocate.

[RainyDay107]

I think she's not qualified to assess your med needs. My boyfriend goes with me to my pdoc and T sometimes, but typically when I'm very unwell and have trouble communicating how I feel. Also, he only goes when I request it. Both my pdoc and T welcome support partners

I hope she gets some perspective soon. My boyfriend and I both have bipolar 1 with psychosis so I relate to both sides. I remind him to take his meds (he asks me to) and we have a deal. If one of us is manic or mixed and psychotic--then we will agree to take our antipsychotic medication, no questions asked. This has saved us trips to IP.

For depression--we keep the environment safe and stick with each other at all times. If it gets really bad, IP.

Basically we trust each other but other than taking our meds consistently and trusting each other during crisis situations--we don't try to "take over." Granted, we do listen to feedback. For example, my boyfriend thinks my PTSD needs to be addressed. I asked my T and she agrees. They both think I'm symptomatic. Therefore, I am starting trauma therapy--but that decision was up to me.

I hope things go OK. Our partners want us to feel stable and if a person could simply harness the disorder...well, we'd be doing that already. IMO. I would be upset by how she is treating you, personally.

[Victoria'smom]

All the healthy coping mechanisms in the world won't save me from having to take meds. Maybe reduce them but not no meds, at least that's what I'm told. I think you and your partner need to talk to your therapist and pdoc together. My pdoc once told my husband to back off and stop trying to save me because that's there job. My therapist told him trying to protect me from myself is pushing me away and that I will chose the disorder over him if he pushes. That I've done it before in my past and she's certain I'd do it again. Both conversations helped a lot. I think it's fairly common for partners to want to save/protect the other one.

It sounds like she doesn't know a lot about your mi and needs to hear from a professional.

[Unrigged64072835]

If we could fix the "problem" with diet, meditation and exercise, then we would've done so a long time ago.

I think you have a right to be angry, and maybe your pdoc will set her straight.

[MBM17]

Originally Posted by Fharraige

I think you have a right to be angry, and maybe your pdoc will set her straight.

I agree. It may be helpful to take your partner with you so the doctor can set her straight.

[luvyrself]

Originally Posted by glamslam

I think she's not qualified to assess your med needs. My boyfriend goes with me to my pdoc and T sometimes, but typically when I'm very unwell and have trouble communicating how I feel. Also, he only goes when I request it. Both my pdoc and T welcome support partners

I hope she gets some perspective soon. My boyfriend and I both have bipolar 1 with psychosis so I relate to both sides. I remind him to take his meds (he asks me to) and we have a deal. If one of us is manic or mixed and psychotic--then we will agree to take our antipsychotic medication, no questions asked. This has saved us trips to IP.

For depression--we keep the environment safe and stick with each other at all times. If it gets really bad, IP.

Basically we trust each other but other than taking our meds consistently and
trusting each other during crisis situations--we don't try to "take over." Granted, we do listen to feedback. For example, my boyfriend thinks my PTSD needs to be addressed. I asked my T and she agrees. They both think I'm symptomatic. Therefore, I am starting trauma therapy--but that decision was up to me.

I hope things go OK. Our partners want us to feel stable and if a person could simply harness the disorder...well, we'd be doing that already. IMO. I would be upset by how she is treating you, personally.

----you have such a great relationship! My family members really dont get bipolar. Hugs!