[WastedFreesia1654]

To be more specific, I'm struggling with feelings of being both uncomfortable and depressed because I cannot live on my own or handle going to college at this time in my life.

I was discharged from my first hospitalization stint about two weeks ago. Before that, I was planning on moving out this year, getting a full time job, the whole nine yards and really becoming independent. I'm just that kind of person - I'd rather be on my own because otherwise I feel like I'm a burden to others, which is a whole other set of problematic emotions!

It's a feeling that's hitting me hard this afternoon at work while I'm browsing job listings. I like the position I'm at now, but my hours were cut TOO much due to overstaffing so I'm looking for another part time position somewhere else...it's just weird to me that I don't need to find a job to pay all sorts of housing bills now.

Less stress? Yes. I do appreciate it. But it is disappointing, unfortunately.

[Cocosurviving]

Hello there, when I first started having bp 1 symptoms they kinda hit me all at once. I had an episode at work...I had no clue what was happening to me. I literally had a meltdown in my work office. I was placed on FMLA and it took going to a second doc before I was correctly diagnosed. My job decided to let me go. I had to move out of state with family. It was hell. I felt so useless and I was still trying to adjust to this new life. I was hospitalized a few times. Now I'm living on my own with my middle school daughter and things are ok....just got medical bills. I know things are really hard when your living with someone and it's not the same as being on your own. I get disability now so I really have to budget. Plus Medicare is not perfect and I can't get Medicaid. But it now feels good to come to my own place. You hang in there and keep ya head up.

[BipolaRNurse]

Welcome to my world. I've been on disability for a couple of years due to my bipolar as well as some physical health problems, and it's not enough to pay rent and bills in the same month, so I live with my son and his family. The arrangement was also made because I really shouldn't live alone...my husband is gone, and I sometimes need a caregiver. It works out well, and yet I miss my independence.

I miss having a car of my own, having my own pets, having a place where I don't have to answer to anyone. I just wrote a blog post on this topic today; while I'm sincerely grateful to my son and his husband, I wish I didn't have to depend on them for so much. I wish I didn't have to depend on anyone other than my mate, and I can't bring him back so it would be nice if I could make it in the world by myself. Then I think about the security I have here and realize how blessed I really am---no worries about becoming homeless, don't have to get a job I can't handle, they don't charge me much rent, and I get to travel. It works out.

[IntentOnHealing]

I tried to explain to my husband how scary it is that, if something happened to him, I could never take care of myself, our home, our child.

Secretly--not because I don't live or want to be with my husband, but because I feel like a slug--I also feel frustrated and depressed that I couldn't do all those things.

I feel ya' girls.