I wonder if anyone else has this problem

when you're doing something... say, you choose to watch a movie in sted of say going to the shops, who feels it is self neglect?

like.. here I am doing this, and I could be doing so much more with myself, but I don't want too- and their for it is self neglect?

people tell me to turn it around.. rather than thinking it is self neglect, think like- well, this is what I can handle today, maybe tomorrow I can do more

but how do I turn it around.

at the moment it is something i'm really struggling with

I still can't work out why I even think it's self neglect, because in actual fact, i'm not neglecting my physical self?

weird thoughts and stuff just being posted

[crimsoncat]

I personally don't think it is ,if you want to take time out to watch a movie an you do surely this is self care?? ,just my opinion for what its worth! xx

Have you ever restarted running after not running for a while? (I no longer run but this was the case for me after both of my pregnancies.) At first, you can only handle 5-10 minutes of straight on running. You have to start slowly so you don't get shin splints or another injury that will sabatoge your goal (be smart about how you go about it). But when it comes to getting started and increasing your distance--it really is a mind over matter thing. You have to tell yourself that you can do it (and unless we are injured, morbidly obese, that sort of thing--we really all can though everyone's pace might vary). You have to run even though it hurts a bit but after a while it doesn't hurt at all unless you are adding more distance or speed to the run. Assume that you can do something (pick a goal) that is good for you everyday. Even if it is just one thing--congratulate yourself and feel like you deserve to watch that movie so long as you did something that needed to be done that day. Baby steps but surely we all have time to do just ONE healthy thing a day; we mostly need to get into the habit just like I have a habit of brushing my teeth right before I go to bed. I don't know if this pep talk will help--I know depression hijacks our will but just remember, without baby steps, we would never have walked.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by crimsoncat

I personally don't think it is ,if you want to take time out to watch a movie an you do surely this is self care?? ,just my opinion for what its worth! xx

[xRavenx]

I agree to with the poster that it does not sound like self neglect. It can be a way of self care since it is relaxing, fufilling, not dangerous....when I think of self neglect, I think about engaging in activities with bad consequences, not taking care of your health, not setting boundaries with others when being pushed around, maintaining unhealthy relationships, and things of that nature.

[IntentOnHealing]

Our depressed minds will do everything they can to make us feel worse than we already do. It sounds like that is what is what might be going on here. Your depression is grabbing onto (and probably creating) this idea and making you feel one of the top features of depression: guilt.

You are not required to buy into the suggestions your mind creates. You're doing fine with what you're doing.

I hope you feel even better soon.

[unaluna]

So many good posts here!

Yeah, i feel like i cant do anything right. Well, sez who? Is there really anybody yelling at us besides ourselves? As long as we "take responsibility" for our actions - eg, realize that sitting now means we will be rested to do a chore tomorrow - we are alright. For instance, i was SOOOO stressed out by the apartment bug guy coming by on Thursday, that i was EXHAUSTED on friday. So today, i feel a little peppier. Im the boss of me now!

[xRavenx]

Originally Posted by unaluna

So many good posts here!

Yeah, i feel like i cant do anything right. Well, sez who? Is there really anybody yelling at us besides ourselves? As long as we "take responsibility" for our actions - eg, realize that sitting now means we will be rested to do a chore tomorrow - we are alright. For instance, i was SOOOO stressed out by the apartment bug guy coming by on Thursday, that i was EXHAUSTED on friday. So today, i feel a little peppier. Im the boss of me now!

I feel the same way often....so true, we need to be the boss of ourselves! I really need to remind myself of these things.

[Jenna120]

I've known many people without mental illness that will take a sick day of work for what they call "mental health day". Yeah, they lie and say they are running a fever or something, but their intent for taking it off is to recharge their mental batteries.

We with mental illness are not any different, except we need more recharging. Not less, more. So sitting and watching that movie is a little bit of time that you're not pushing yourself to the mental limit trying to be like those who are not ill. It's a bit of time to just chill and recharge your mental batteries for the next fight and therefore is actually self-care. You are taking care of yourself mentally by way of relaxing the mind.

No engine can run 24/7 without breaking down and the human mind is the same way. We need to chill and veg out if we want to push ourselves later on.