[Dillweed]

I’m searching for some sort of support for my progressed Rapid Cycling BPII disorder. Almost of a year ago this May I had some sort of mental breakdown and became very depressed and distant. I couldn’t get myself to continue exercising or eat healthy and I began having daily binge eating episodes and drinking alot to temporarily ease the horrible thoughts and feelings I was experiencing. Which had a serious negative impact on my kids and girlfriend. My girlfriend at the time suggested I go talk with someone and get help. I ended up on a 3-4 month battle to find a correct medication mixture that would help with my symptoms. When I caught a break and finally found some relief with a med structure I started working towards being back to where I was the almost 6 months ago. It wasn’t long after getting a positive mindset on life that my girlfriend said she was moving out. Within a week she was out. I somehow stayed positive for the first few days and did most of the work moving her. I soon realized I was alone. I fell apart rapidly and began lashing out at my now ex-girlfriend for the negative treatment I was given over the years and recently. I have since started working with a therapist and my psychiatrist again. I am struggling to let go of the relationship I was in even though it was very unhappy to both sides. I’ve lost interest in most things I used to enjoy doing. I can’t get in a routine of exercising, eating or sleeping. I have been binge eating something almost every night and staying up late with tv on feeling hopeless and alone. My daytime work routine is still somewhat intact as far as going to work and getting kids picked up every day but I’m able to get by due to medication which wears off eventually and the cycle starts again. I have no support from friends or family. I’m either not close to them or they deny I have a serious condition.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Dillweed: I'm sorry you are struggling through such a difficult period in your life. It's been a few days since you posted this. Hopefully things are beginning to look at least a bit brighter. I offer my best wishes with the hope that, in some way, you will be able to find deep peace within...

[MBM17]

My bipolar 2 rapid cycles, and I describe it with the same word you used - chaos. Never knowing what to expect the next day, can't count on anything inside, can't look forward to the future or events because I never know if I'll be able to enjoy them or not... I describe mine as being in a whirlwind where I can't catch hold on anything or get footing or see. It hurts. I'm with ya.

[bioChE]

Chaos is a good description. I'm with MBM, never knowing if I'll be able to enjoy something.