[n12345]

Hi everyone, I'm wondering if anyone has any advice on how to go forward...
About two and a half years ago my mom attempted suicide by taking a bunch of sleeping pills. She got admitted to a mental hospital for a few weeks and got diagnosed with Bipolar Depression. She was prescribed Latuda for her bipolar and Prozac for her depression.
She took her medication for a while and went to see her psychiatrist pretty regularly. Though things were not perfect, she had days were she felt better. She found a psychologist that she liked and saw her once every month for about six months.
Presently, she refuses to go to her psychiatrist because they make her "mad" and the pills make her feel funny. I do know that she got a refill on Prozac from her general doctor (whether or not she takes it is something I'm not sure about, I don't live at home with her) but I do know she does not take her Latuda anymore. She also does not want to go to her psychologist anymore.
She doesn't do much daily, it's more depression than manic (she did go through some manic phases months after she go released from the hospital). She watches tv and does her crossword puzzles, hardly ever leaves the house. Doesn't do her laundry, very rarely does any chores. She kind of just coasts through her days. When I ask her how she's feeling she says not very good, but that she's going to get herself together (she's been saying this for over a year now). When I ask what she's going to do to change she says she doesn't know.
I can't just force her into a car and make her go to her psychiatrist appointments and make her take her medication.
So what now? My fear is that she's going to attempt the very worst again, although she has said in the past that she would never do that again.
Is there any advice from someone who has bipolar depression or who has someone close to them that has gone through this? I'm not sure how to feel or act anymore.
Thank you in advance.

[Alokin]

Ugh, I hate these posts. This is a support group for US not family members of people with bipolar.

That said, it seems like you may have gone through some things with your mother, as you do not seem very sympathetic to her. My suggestion would be to read up on this disorder so that you can try to understand what she is going through. Check out the thread about "how do you explain bipolar to others" or something like that to perhaps gain some insight on how we view our bipolar symptoms.

You certainly cannot make your mother do anything, I suspect you are wanting to help her out of love and I appreciate that. You really have no idea how negative the side effects of these very powerful psych drugs can be. It is hard to understand I am sure since most people believe that they help, which they do, but if you cruise through our threads you will see that it is a struggle to get them correct, every person is different, being understanding of that is crucial.

Hello n12345, I see this is your first post here. Welcome to PC! I hope you find your time here to be of benefit.

Unfortunately with loved ones who struggle with mental illness, we generally can't force them to participate in treatment (I say generally because if they are a threat to themselves or others, you are able to get the authorities involved). It is hard to watch a loved one go through something like this, and may feel frustrating as well. Unfortunately, there is not much you can do except be supportive at this point. The onus is on her to take the necessary steps to seek treatment and get better. Going through mental illness is very difficult, and I imagine having you as a support in her life would be very helpful. But you cannot force her to do anything, so please be gentle with her and with yourself.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by scaredandconfused

Hello n12345, I see this is your first post here. Welcome to PC! I hope you find your time here to be of benefit.

Unfortunately with loved ones who struggle with mental illness, we generally can't force them to participate in treatment (I say generally because if they are a threat to themselves or others, you are able to get the authorities involved). It is hard to watch a loved one go through something like this, and may feel frustrating as well. Unfortunately, there is not much you can do except be supportive at this point. The onus is on her to take the necessary steps to seek treatment and get better. Going through mental illness is very difficult, and I imagine having you as a support in her life would be very helpful. But you cannot force her to do anything, so please be gentle with her and with yourself.

I agree with scaredandconfused. Very good advice.

[*Laurie*]

Hello, and welcome to PC.

I can well understand what you're going through, and how much your mom's behavior hurts you. The hard truth is that there is not much we can do when a loved one refuses to help herself. It's very frustrating and hurtful. About all you can do is set healthy boundaries for yourself, and perhaps talk with your own therapist to better help you deal with the hurt of your mom's behavior.

Support group for family and friends: NAMI (National Alliance for Mental Illness) in my city. Maybe they have one where you live?

Originally Posted by Alokin

Ugh, I hate these posts. This is a support group for US not family members of people with bipolar.

That said, it seems like you may have gone through some things with your mother, as you do not seem very sympathetic to her. My suggestion would be to read up on this disorder so that you can try to understand what she is going through. Check out the thread about "how do you explain bipolar to others" or something like that to perhaps gain some insight on how we view our bipolar symptoms.

You certainly cannot make your mother do anything, I suspect you are wanting to help her out of love and I appreciate that. You really have no idea how negative the side effects of these very powerful psych drugs can be. It is hard to understand I am sure since most people believe that they help, which they do, but if you cruise through our threads you will see that it is a struggle to get them correct, every person is different, being understanding of that is crucial.

[n12345]

Originally Posted by Alokin

Ugh, I hate these posts. This is a support group for US not family members of people with bipolar.

That said, it seems like you may have gone through some things with your mother, as you do not seem very sympathetic to her. My suggestion would be to read up on this disorder so that you can try to understand what she is going through. Check out the thread about "how do you explain bipolar to others" or something like that to perhaps gain some insight on how we view our bipolar symptoms.

You certainly cannot make your mother do anything, I suspect you are wanting to help her out of love and I appreciate that. You really have no idea how negative the side effects of these very powerful psych drugs can be. It is hard to understand I am sure since most people believe that they help, which they do, but if you cruise through our threads you will see that it is a struggle to get them correct, every person is different, being understanding of that is crucial.

I'm sorry to have offended you for posting on these forums, I thought this website was open for anyone that needed help. I am very sympathetic towards my mother... just because I generalized the situation to fit a paragraph on a thread doesn't mean I'm not. I believe her when she says the meds make her feel weird, maybe I should have added that. That's why I don't know what to do from here. I will take another users advice and look at NAMI. Take care.

[n12345]

Thank you everyone for reaching out, it means a lot that you took the time to reply! Although I know I can't do much for her unless she helps herself for some reason I keep looking for another answer. I'll look into flowerbell's suggestion of NAMI, thank you!

[bioChE]

Originally Posted by n12345

I'm sorry to have offended you for posting on these forums, I thought this website was open for anyone that needed help. I am very sympathetic towards my mother... just because I generalized the situation to fit a paragraph on a thread doesn't mean I'm not. I believe her when she says the meds make her feel weird, maybe I should have added that. That's why I don't know what to do from here. I will take another users advice and look at NAMI. Take care.

This site is for support of anyone needing help with MH issues, either theirs or a loved one's. feel free to keep posting, your posts are welcome.

[Wild Coyote]

Welcome to PC.

Your posts are most welcomed, in my opinion. Please feel free to continue posting.

NAMI is a great idea! I hope you do look into it.

While you need to decide on healthy boundaries with your mom, it's also important she have some encouragement to seek help if needed. Sometimes people need help in discovering their options and resources.

You are a peach to reach out due to concern for your mother. She's a lucky mom.

Please check back in on this thread. It takes 2-3 days for responses to accrue.


WC