[MusicLover82]

Have you ever had the thought about other people with mental illness "I'm not that crazy, [insert description here] is crazy." Like if you've never had psychosis, or you've never seen things that weren't there, or you've never had compulsions to do things that you think are much more irrational than your compulsions, etc.

I find myself thinking this, and I must confess I am ashamed. We've all got our issues here, and none should be considered "crazier" than the other. It's all just mental illness that must be treated. We are all marvelous human beings with so much to offer.

Confession time. What kind of things do you find yourself thinking are "crazier" than others? And what kind of symptoms do you have that you used to consider "crazy" that you have now developed and had to come to terms with? What kind of stigma issues do you deal with (whether they be about yourself or about others)?

[jacky8807]

not really about bipolar but about other mental health issues which is so embarrassing to admit

I don't understand when people are obsessive I mean OBSESSIVE about their therapist and all that stuff.

I will also admit I understand self harm to a limited degree. Especially if it is daily/severe/burning ones self/. I mean I understand it on intellectual level (people are hurting inside!) but sometimes its hard to wrap my head around the more severe cases

That being said I'm not judging anyone. I guess these are things I have a more difficult time with because I don't experience them.

I feel like i have experienced the full spectrum of hell in most other things though lol

[19J82]

In my previous job I had a lot of contact with people with MI. Whilst I had strong suspicions about my Bipolar, I hadn't been diagnosed and the Dr's had laughed me out of the room (I suspect because I'm very high functioning and well presenting).
In 10 years, I probably saw 3 or 4 people who were the caricature of crazy. Complete rambling drivel, no ability to function in society and a risk to both themselves and others.
In all of these cases, it wasn't so much the MI that was the issue, more the fact that they had abused so many drugs over the years. Obviously the MI may have been a major contributing factor in the initial drug use, but it was obvious that they'd been failed over the years and had been allowed to get to that stage.
One of the 'craziest' was my father's ex partner who he'd met in the psychiatric hospital when he and she were patients (great place to pick up girls!). I'm not sure of her diagnosis, but it's a lifelong illness exacerbated by alcoholism. She recently spent time in prison, I believe for criminal damage or arson. She is someone who genuinely shouldn't be allowed into society for her own safety and the safety of others. I've always been a compassionate, caring person, but I find myself thinking that we do need asylums (renamed perhaps) to care for these people as at the moment we're failing them miserably.
As for me, I have periods of time when I think I'm Jesus Christ reborn, that I'm a superhuman created by the government and that I can achieve anything I put my mind to. Somehow my mask of sanity hides all this from people, but I have felt things have been deteriorating over the years, so this may change! I was only diagnosed in October and I remember highs and lows and bipolar behaviours when I was 11-12. 24 years of untreated Bipolar has probably not done my brain any favours

[5150DirtDiva]

I definitely have done this, but I was in a DBT group once and another woman and I were talking about cutting. A third woman made some really judgy comments about it. So of course I was irritable and did not handle the situation well. I retorted back to her that "it makes as much sense, but is less disgusting, than vomiting, isn't it?" Since she was bulimic. Not my finest moment, but we were able to talk about it in a healthy way with intervention from the doc. I am positive we both learned how it felt to be on the judgement end of judgmental comments during that session and why it is not acceptable.

[raspberrytorte]

I have the opposite problem. I'm jealous of people who don't have as many problems as me!

[wiretwister]

Remember this was very long ago ... and I was young ... very hard core ... very filled with hate and anger ...

I was 100% sure I was to save the world (at that time thru Christian theology) ... I know 100% I would die by 33 ... (hint .. in NT. ) ... I preached and could light your hair on fire while burning your clothes with fire and brimestone sermons ... *** now the fun part *** ... prior to that ... I cruised the streets looking (hunting) for "evil doers" to kill ... yes Virginia he loved the gun ... I traveled with a 357 and a sawed off double 12 guage ... for you that do not know ... they not only kill .. they mutalate the body ...

thankfully my home church was so impressed with my preaching they sent me to a "bible collage" so I could lead a church they were starting ... now the part I leave out to not offend "christians here" ... but I quit organized religion completely ...

ok sounds like any other youth right ... none I knew ... 70's and early 80's ...

ps: while in bible school I saw a pdoc per the school's request ... yep .. BP ... back then no 1 or 2 or nos ...
on meds of course .... even with my attempt , I never considered myself really dx until my ip in 2012 ... so many fu**ed up years ... just now getting somewhat socialable ... (god bless my poor wife) ...

was that crazy enough ... IDK ... but it's true . Tigger.

[bioChE]

I joke about being crazy, but never really consider myself such. That's always the other guy.

[meekayla]

Originally Posted by bioChE

I joke about being crazy, but never really consider myself such. That's always the other guy.

Same here! Although I do have symptoms that I do not like to discuss with my doctor/therapist even if I'm very open about everything else, namely my self harm. It's not necessarily that I find it crazier than anything else, but more that there's a lot more stigma about it, even in environments that are otherwise accepting of MI.
Somehow it's more accepted and less "crazy" to talk about suicide than self harm.

[Unrigged64072835]

I do feel like I'm crazy, but I don't talk about it much. I've been raised to be the "healthy one" (as my brother was always sick), so it's hard to talk about mental illness to anybody but a therapist or psychiatrist.

[leejosepho]

I would suspect there were times in my past when I thought someone was "crazier than me", but those kinds of thoughts were related more to delusional thinking than outright mental insanity. Overall, however, being a finger pointed has never really made me feel much better about myself while pondering the matter of my own "crazy".

[franz kafka]

As my symptoms unfolded over the past few years my doctors kept assuring me (without prompting) "don't worry, you're not developing schizophrenia!" Yet here I am now with a schizoaffective diagnosis (not the same, but close). It's hard not to think of myself as crazy sometimes.

[BipolaRNurse]

I've seen documentaries that showed schizophrenia in all its awful glory, and it makes me grateful that I'm "only" bipolar. I feel so bad for people with that illness.

I also do not understand cutting/burning. My oldest daughter used to burn herself on her arms and then wear long-sleeved shirts to hide the scars. She hasn't self-harmed in many years now, but as hard as I tried to understand what it was that made her do it, I just couldn't...all I could do was hurt for her.

But I did do something when I was young (about 10-13) that could have been a form of self-harm. I used to sit out in the rain and wind and let myself get soaking wet in the hope that I'd get pneumonia and die. Of course, I didn't know then that you can't get sick like that without a virus or bacteria present, and sometimes I actually succeeded in my mission and became ill. But I never came anywhere near death thanks to modern antibiotics, so I was making myself miserable for nothing and I eventually gave up.

[Wander]

Before I experienced florid psychosis I used to think sometimes that at least I wasn't that 'crazy'. Now I see how judgemental I was and feel ashamed I used to think like that. Now I have been 'crazy' I have a lot more compassion. Also, psychosis is really just another symptom and other illnesses/symptoms can be as severe. In any event all humans are crazy at times. Mental illness just has the stigma attached.