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#1
May 17, 2017, 08:08 PM
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Every time I get a few days respite I have hope. I quickly get knocked back down into the pit of depression. I'm tired of the pain and the struggle.
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 Anonymous59125, bukowski06, Daonnachd, gina_re, jacky8807, pirilin, Wild Coyote
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#2
May 17, 2017, 08:11 PM
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It really is tough.....to have that hope snatched away feels like a cruel joke and I'm so sorry you are fighting that hell right now. are you safe?
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| Sunflower123
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 Sunflower123
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#3
May 17, 2017, 08:16 PM
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Quote:
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#4
May 17, 2017, 08:18 PM
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Do you have someone with you? Can you call a crisis line? Go to the ER? You need to do whatever it takes to be safe.
__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily |
| Sunflower123
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| Sassandclass, Sunflower123
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#5
May 17, 2017, 08:21 PM
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Quote:
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#6
May 17, 2017, 08:22 PM
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Please get help.
__________________
Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
| Sunflower123
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| Sassandclass, Sunflower123
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#7
May 17, 2017, 08:25 PM
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i can only second what everyone here has said. please get help for yourself.
__________________
I used to rule the world Seas would rise when I gave the word Now in the morning, I sleep alone Sweep the streets I used to own I used to roll the dice Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes Listen as the crowd would sing Now the old king is dead! Long live the king! One minute I held the key Next the walls were closed on me And I discovered that my castles stand Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand |
| Sunflower123
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| Sassandclass, Sunflower123
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#8
May 17, 2017, 08:31 PM
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I feel like I need to say more but i just don't know what. I know words aren't going to make it go away.
do you think you need the hospital? just go to the ER
__________________
I used to rule the world Seas would rise when I gave the word Now in the morning, I sleep alone Sweep the streets I used to own I used to roll the dice Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes Listen as the crowd would sing Now the old king is dead! Long live the king! One minute I held the key Next the walls were closed on me And I discovered that my castles stand Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand |
| Sunflower123
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| BeyondtheRainbow, Sassandclass, Sunflower123
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#9
May 17, 2017, 08:37 PM
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Sorry you're not feeling so well
I agree with the others that you need urgent help. I recommend the ER as well, but at the bare minimum, can you contact your therapist (if you have one) or your pdoc (if you have one)? Is there anything else we can do for you that may help? |
| Sunflower123
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| Sassandclass, Sunflower123, Victoria'smom
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#10
May 17, 2017, 09:04 PM
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I agree with the others. if you are not safe from yourself, you need to reach out and get the kind of support you need. If writing here helps, then keep doing so but it's ok to admit that writing here is not enough and then it's time to get in touch with professionals. Do you have access to the ER of it comes to that?
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| Sunflower123
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| Sassandclass, Sunflower123
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#11
May 17, 2017, 09:08 PM
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Quote:
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#12
May 17, 2017, 09:09 PM
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Quote:
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| Anonymous59125
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#13
May 17, 2017, 09:32 PM
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I'm sorry you're struggling. I'm glad you have access to an ER if it becomes necessary.
__________________
dx: schizoaffective bipolar type; OCD; GAD rx: clozapine, clonazepam PRN |
| Sunflower123
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| Sassandclass, Sunflower123
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#14
May 17, 2017, 09:37 PM
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I wish you the best. I saw that you sent a text to a crisis support, but would an actual voice be more helpful? Think about making a phone call if you think that speaking with someone would help you more.
__________________
>< |
| Sunflower123
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| Sassandclass, Sunflower123
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#15
May 17, 2017, 09:43 PM
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I'm thinking of you Jennifer.....I went through hell myself recently so remembering how bad it was, is still fresh in my mind and my heart breaks for you. Remember you are worth help, you deserve it and you won't always feel as bad as you now do. It really does get better, even though it doesn't feel like that right now. You just need to get through this rough patch and there will be better days ahead.
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| Sunflower123
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| Sassandclass, Sunflower123
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#16
May 17, 2017, 10:20 PM
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Hey Jennifer-
I'm sorry you are having such a rough time right now. I have been there and I know how awful a place it is to be there. I know it doesnt feel like it right now but things will not always feel this bad. Sending you some positive thoughts. Hang in there. Be safe. Hugs. |
| Sunflower123
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| Sunflower123
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#17
May 17, 2017, 10:36 PM
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Remember that people do really care about you, people really do WANT to help you. These are things I forget when unwell and so perhaps you feel them too. If so, take my words to heart because they are true.
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| Sunflower123
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| Sassandclass, Sunflower123
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#18
May 18, 2017, 03:22 AM
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So sorry you are having such an awful experience. If I could fix it I would. I agree with the others that you should go to ER if you have a plan. These things can creep up on us suddenly and you could worsen quicker than you realise. Take a preemptive stance. Get help before this gets worse. I hope you feel better soon. Keep posting.
__________________
Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD  "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
| Sunflower123
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| Sassandclass, Sunflower123
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#19
May 18, 2017, 04:58 AM
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How are you doing now? Please consider the ER. Or at the very least reach out to your pdoc today.
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| Sunflower123
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| Sassandclass, Sunflower123
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#20
May 18, 2017, 07:35 AM
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I was where you were a couple of months ago. I texted a crisis line and although it was somewhat helpful, the feelings were still there. Sometimes SI, at least for me at that time, can be very intense and overwhelming. The fact that you have reached out tells me that you do want help and don't want to give in. Everyone here is supportive and want you to be the best you can be. I'm sure any of us won't mind if you decided to send a pm for one on one conversation to talk it out. But you have so much going for you right now. Please look at what you do have and focus on that (I know it's easier said than done). We care and want what's best for you. I hope you are feeling somewhat better now. Please take care of yourself.
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| Sunflower123
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| Sassandclass, Sunflower123
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#21
May 18, 2017, 07:55 AM
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All my love Jennifer. To be sick is horrid misery that you don't deserve and few understand. But, you are worth it. Music is my biggest therapist (minus the times I believe I have BECOME the music...almost comical.
 ). I have lots of music from lots of genres to share if they may help lift your spirits, may comfort or may at least bring understanding.
__________________
***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
| Sunflower123
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| Sunflower123
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#22
May 18, 2017, 08:05 AM
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I'm so, so sorry and so embarrassed about having a melt down. I am in a bad place but I am safe and have calls in to my pdoc and therapist. Thank you for your support. It really helped me believe things would be ok if I just held on. Again, I'm so sorry. Thank you.
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| Anonymous47665, cashart10, Daonnachd, gina_re, Wild Coyote
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#23
May 18, 2017, 08:08 AM
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No need for apologies! I'm so glad that you were able to get over those feelings and are better. I'm sure many of us have had similar meltdowns. Enjoy your day!
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| Sunflower123
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| Sunflower123
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#25
May 18, 2017, 08:14 AM
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No apologies warranted, Jennifer.
Glad you are safe and are reaching out to your pdoc and therapist.   (((((( Jennifer )))))) WC |
| Sunflower123
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| Sunflower123
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