Anxiety/calm moment to moment?

I don't know how else to describe this, but for over a year now, maybe longer, most of my days have been riddled with anxiety that I feel like a weight on my chest, alternating with a fleeting calmness thereafter. Then I may feel "normal" for a few minutes to an hour or so, then the moment to moment anxiety/calm wave continues. Everyday. For at least the last year.

While I experienced anxiety pre-meds, I have never experienced this. It feels so random and very physiological. My pdoc took me off Zoloft several months ago, thinking that may be the culprit. Coming off did ease it up a bit, but it's still happening frequently, just not quite as jolting.

My gut keeps telling me to get off the meds. I never experienced this before meds, and if I really take a look back I have been on meds for 2 years (9 different meds) and I feel worse than I have ever felt. I feel a little...different...but in no way functional or better.

I have removed a lot of the stressors from my life that contributed to some bad manic/depressive episodes, so I'm wondering if I can try to get off meds and at least give some more holistic methods of coping a try. I have gone through my whole life with bipolar and managed it well whenever life wasn't overly stressful. I know my pdoc won't support this decision, but my very soul (and maybe the 2 years with no improvement and awful symptoms and side effects) is telling me the meds won't help, and are even harming.

Has anyone ever experienced/heard of this moment to moment anxiety/calmness thing. Did you notice it only on certain meds, off meds, anything? I'm having a very difficult time finding anyone with or any explanation of my symptoms.

Just wanted to respond to your post. I've never experienced this or know of anybody who has. This sounds like something you need to run by your pdoc. Can you also run it by your pdoc that you're thinking about stopping your meds? Good luck and best wishes....