When IP is not an option

I am not a danger to myself, I know I don't need to go IP. But this depression is horrible and leaving my bed is a chore. Thinking and working, I don't know how I'm going to do this tomorrow. Not sure what I should do. I already took two FMLA days last week. I don't want to keep taking days off until I just run out of days. I'm so lost and just want my grandma.

I don't know the point of this post either

Hi gina_re,
Oh wow, you caught the nasty depression going around on this forum!
It's paralyzing. I'm sorry you are also experiencing this.

(((((( gina_re ))))))

I wish I could tell you how best to handle the work situation; yet, I am without any advice for the work situation.

I wish I could help more.
I hope you feel better soon.


WC

Is IOP an option? when is your next appointments?

I totally feel you. I've been in bed or on the couch all weekend. This depression is horrible. I was talking earlier how they need weekend-only IP/PHP/IOP because I would probably go right now. The mentally ill do work.

(((((gina_re)))))

you may not feel your a physical danger to yourself but your in grave danger for your mental health ... very real danger ... gina if I could wrap you in a blanket hold you and rock with you I would in a moment ... but all I can do is give you my total love ... you are loved ... and cared about very much ... remember that ... I think we all want grandmother at times ... to be a child again with no problems or responsibility ... just wrap yourself up in that blanket hun ... in spirit I am there ... please pm if it gets too bad ... Tigger .

I am thinking that I may have to do that. But I guess I'm just embarrassed because I did the PHP program in November of 2015 and then I was IP November 2016. It just sucks because I live alone and have to support myself financially. But I'm overwhelmed and don't care anymore.
I have a follow up with my pdoc in July and with my tdoc in June.

I really hate that your going through This! I recently had to use 7 days of fmla and most of that time was unpaid so I do understand the financial worries, it's such a strain. Sometimes we have to do what's best for us to get better though. Make a call to your p docs office and let them know how bad things are right now, maybe they will make a med change that will help pull you out of this sooner rather than later. Big Hugs!!

I'm so sorry you're having a terrible time. Wild Coyote is right....there is a nasty, paralyzing depression that seems to be going around on this forum. Can you see your pdoc and tdoc on an emergency basis? Sometimes doctors hold open appointments for that reason. Please don't be embarrassed about PHP or IP. You were taking good care of yourself. If you need to go through it again, please do. I hope you get some relief soon. Thinking of you...

Gina, why is IP not an option? I know it seems like a huge deal when you're trying to decide what to do, but oftentimes it is the quickest way to feeling better. If you're spending months with your outpatient physician trying different med combos, it could be a big waste of time. Every time I've gone IP, it has benefited me greatly and I was glad after the fact that I had gone in.

Please consider it. Depression is a killer.

From my experiences, I'm only put into IP when I'm suicidal and am a threat to myself. I am not having these experiences. Additionally, from the hospital here, I think PHP might be the better option anyway. I feel as though it is more intense than IP programs, and I'm only saying that since I've been through both. In IP you get to be lazy and will have groups every few hours. But I learned nothing from them, I went voluntarily since I technically od'd even though what I took didn't really do much of anything. But it was a safety reason. Currently, my depression just robs me of my ability to concentrate on work, and maintain good hygiene (in addition to the typical depressive feelings of anedhonia, worthlessness, etc.). My current pdoc is also a joke. She is nice, but the mental health department of Kaiser is horrible. At least that has been my experience. So then I have to seek outside doctors and that costs more, keep in mind that there aren't many down here to choose from. Pretty much the group that runs the IP and PHP program at the hospital are pretty much it outside one or two others. It's times like this when I wish I had more help and support. There isn't anyone I can really be honest with this except you all since I'm sure someone gets it.

Could you do intensive out-pt two or three days per week?

I don't do IP for the groups. I do it for the med changes, and being lazy or crazy is part of that. Yes it gets boring, but how else would you do it? That's a rhetorical question, please don't answer it.

I can get med changes with PHP as well. It's also a matter of still receiving income too. As frivolous as that can sound considering my life is more important than a few days pay, it's a reality.
With IP they take note of participation, which helps you get out quicker. I don't know about you, but I prefer my own bed than that flat excuse of a mattress. I'll check into admission for PHP this week.

LOL. Every time I've been IP I've hated it and did everything I could do to get out as quickly as possible. This includes going to pointless groups and dealing with the other patients in the clinic. Or psych ward. Or hospital. Or whatever you want to call it.

Glad to hear you can get med changes in the PHP. Like you, I far prefer my own luxurious mattress to the flat excuse you mentioned. I know income is a big thing for you - it is for all of us. I'm not saying missing a few days' pay isn't a big thing. It is. What I'm saying is there's a chance to have that pay loss be worth much more if you can get out of the depression and on with your life.

If you choose to do the PHP, good luck with that. I hope it's everything you need. If you choose to just work with your doctor, then I wish you the best luck in getting your meds and moods straightened out.

By the way, your post had a point. Even if you couldn't see it or if you were just venting, that's the kind of $hit we do around here. Rage on, sister!