[thinkmaster]

Guys, I have a question and hoping somebody can help me out here. Women who are bipolar, can they go from being your best friend one day to verbally thrashing and dismissing you from their lives forever in 24 hours for just the slightest mistake?

My client is Jewish, married and has kids. Long story short, I think she found out the reason I was offering to do many favors outside my job specialty was because I had a crush on her, but even so I would have never acted inappropriate.

What I don't understand is I was supposed to show up early morning to unclog her drain, I was doing her a favor so she wouldn't have to hire a plumber, and I was running way late but the reason I did not call to let her know was a friendly reminder the previous day she didn't need me to give a minute by minute update. What puzzles me was she was bragging to her friend what a great guy I was 24 hours earlier and just because I showed up late 4 hours, she totally flipped out and started screaming at me. I told her I was "scared to call" but even before I could finish my sentence she yelled, "Don't be scared! Come here!" and she was screaming that!

I can understand someone being upset your late but the way she was screaming just did not seem like the crime fit the punishment. i have had many vendors who dropped the ball but if I was unhappy with them, I would just text or call to tell them not to come over. I wouldn't wait until they come over and then chew them out.

So my question here is, my friend thinks she may be bipolar and people who are such can have explosive tempers.

[gina_re]

That's stigma and not bipolar, imo.

[Leia78]

Anybody, MAN or WOMAN, can have an explosive temper, anybody, bipolar or not can have an explosive temper. I find your post both sexist and stigmatizing. You have no clue what bipolar is.

[Sunflower123]

I don't want to seem harsh but you're way off base here. Even the guys will tell you that if you need to hear it from them. Why didn't you just say I can see you're upset is something going on?

A lot of people think bipolar means a person is fine and happy one second and angry the next. It's a lot more complicated and as other posters mentioned, this view is very stigmatizing to those of us who have this illness. Anybody can fly off the handle from time to time....even perfectly sane individuals. If you care about learning, there is good information out there on what Bipolar actually is. Please avoid listening to the stigmatizing information and look for the real, solid information. When you are finished learning, come fix my toilet! Just kidding. Have a nice day.

[thinkmaster]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I don't want to seem harsh but you're way off base here. Even the guys will tell you that if you need to hear it from them. Why didn't you just say I can see you're upset is something going on?

The whole time she was screaming at me, I was trying to calm her down but I could not and I mean it seemed like my mouth was glued shut ask anything. I was just stunned that here I am, OK yes I am way late but I was doing her a favor, yes she thought I was only doing these favors because I had a crush on her, the level of aggression was still way inappropriate.

I am sorry if I sounded like a sexist but I just don't know what bipolar really is. I figured that if someone has this disorder you can tell by the hot tempers.

Are you all telling me or seemingly telling me that people who are afflicted with bipolar, can their illness be easily detected by others? I am so sorry if I seem ignorant here but from the symptoms I have read on this site, it seems anybody who has it there are warning signs that tell others like vendors to watch out for some of these tell tale signs so I can avoid this situation again.

[thinkmaster]

Wow! I was looking at 12 celabrities who have bipolar and Jane Pauley was one of the featured celebrities. I have watched her growing up as a kid and never would I have guessed she was bipolar. From reading the symptoms and behaviors of many actresses and actors who have it, any acquaintance or stranger could tell immediately

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by thinkmaster

The whole time she was screaming at me, I was trying to calm her down but I could not and I mean it seemed like my mouth was glued shut ask anything. I was just stunned that here I am, OK yes I am way late but I was doing her a favor, yes she thought I was only doing these favors because I had a crush on her, the level of aggression was still way inappropriate.

I am sorry if I sounded like a sexist but I just don't know what bipolar really is. I figured that if someone has this disorder you can tell by the hot tempers.

Are you all telling me or seemingly telling me that people who are afflicted with bipolar, can their illness be easily detected by others? I am so sorry if I seem ignorant here but from the symptoms I have read on this site, it seems anybody who has it there are warning signs that tell others like vendors to watch out for some of these tell tale signs so I can avoid this situation again.

I think she has something going on....I just don't know what it is. I'm sorry you went through that. I have bipolar 2 disorder (versus bipolar 1 or bipolar NOS) which is characterized with severe depressions. To a one, my doctors and people who know me say I had no idea you had this or to such a degree. Your face and behaviors don't show any sign of it. Your appearance is of happiness.

I'm really interested in what her deal was. I guess until you know her better or find out what's going on just treat her as you always have and be on time when you need to.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by thinkmaster

Wow! I was looking at 12 celabrities who have bipolar and Jane Pauley was one of the featured celebrities. I have watched her growing up as a kid and never would I have guessed she was bipolar. From reading the symptoms and behaviors of many actresses and actors who have it, any acquaintance or stranger could tell immediately

I agree that with some actors you can pretty much guess, I'm thinking of CS and all his interviews, but with the majority of people it's not discernible if they are stable and a symptomatic. I have a friend with many friends, well thought of, 6 figure job, boss to many, travels the world and the secret between us is he has bipolar 1 well stabilized. You just never know.

I hope you find out and let us know. I'm wondering if she has an anger problem. It was rude of her to yell at you.

[bioChE]

Anger is not characteristic of bipolar disorder. Flying off the handle is characteristic of having uncontrolled anger, being ruled by your emotions. That can happen to anyone who has a bad temper, normal or bipolar.

If you're interested in learning about bipolar disorder, there are plenty of resources on the internet. Just ask Dr. Google. There are also checklists out there, self-help guides in case you think you or a loved one might have the disorder. If you look at one of those guides/questionnaires, you'll realize the only way to diagnose the disorder is to have intimate knowledge of a person's thought processes.

Best of luck with your client. If she's unable to control her anger, my suggestion would be to steer clear romantically.

[thinkmaster]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I think she has something going on....I just don't know what it is. I'm sorry you went through that. I have bipolar 2 disorder (versus bipolar 1 or bipolar NOS) which is characterized with severe depressions. To a one, my doctors and people who know me say I had no idea you had this or to such a degree. Your face and behaviors don't show any sign of it. Your appearance is of happiness.

I'm really interested in what her deal was. I guess until you know her better or find out what's going on just treat her as you always have and be on time when you need to.

WASN'T AWARE PEOPLE WITH BIPOLAR CAN HIDE IT FROM OTHERS
I really thank you for your input. Until I read your reply, I was thinking as long as I carry around a bipolar checklist, I can tell if the stranger next to me or a client has it. I wasn't aware that you can talk to someone who has bipolar and never guess he/she was.

HOW CAN GORGEOUS WOMEN BE BIPOLAR?
It's even harder for me to believe, a gorgeous woman who is not only a gifted writer, but she is obviously extremely intelligent and very classy. Do people who are afflicted with bipolar can be classy or does this disease hollow out somebody's personality? She is married, has a few kids and probably been married for 9 years I am guessing, but thinking if she was bipolar her marriage wouldn't have lasted as long. My stereotype is people who are afflicted with bipolar are basically middle to low income people. The prettier and more attractive folks rarely ever have this disorder
the only maybe only indication she is bipolar is when I first met her, she was way too skinny and borderline anorexic.

MAYBE MY ADHD TRIGGERED HER HARSH RESPONSE
I have ADHD and while all the dumb things I do is done out of ignorance and innocence, as people who know me know I am super friendly and always in a good mood, but when I get excited I sometimes can get ahead of myself, I email too much, text too much, call too much, basically I turn into a little kid, harmless absolutely harmless but I realize that can piss the crap out of those who don't know me.

STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY THE RAGE
I guess at this point it does not matter, but just for being late 4 hours, Ok I was getting too personal in their lives, I can't understand for the life of me how can anybody get so angry over something so trivial as being late and of course I was getting too personal. I am thinking could it be possible I was on occasion bragging about myself, maybe she didn't like me bragging about myself and making it seem like I was better than her. It just seems the rage she demonstrated must have been ego related somehow. I mean she lives in a plush neighborhood, her husband is a successful professional, and here is this painter trying to put himself above them i have no idea but all I can say is the overly aggressiveness of her, I mean she did not show one ounce of respect or fear of me. She knew before hand I was very afraid of her both physically and mentally, and she knows I am like a little kid so she had no qualms of verbally beating me.

[thinkmaster]

Originally Posted by bioChE

Anger is not characteristic of bipolar disorder. Flying off the handle is characteristic of having uncontrolled anger, being ruled by your emotions. That can happen to anyone who has a bad temper, normal or bipolar.

If you're interested in learning about bipolar disorder, there are plenty of resources on the internet. Just ask Dr. Google. There are also checklists out there, self-help guides in case you think you or a loved one might have the disorder. If you look at one of those guides/questionnaires, you'll realize the only way to diagnose the disorder is to have intimate knowledge of a person's thought processes.

Best of luck with your client. If she's unable to control her anger, my suggestion would be to steer clear romantically.

It's hard for me to believe she could be afflicted with bipolar because in the two years I have known her, well actually I only see her for a total of 4 days a year, but nevertheless she appears just as normal as any other person I ever spoke to. If anybody would have told me she was bipolar I would be in total denial because my stereotype again says, if somebody has bipolar there is no way they can hide their illness from others and I am lead to believe because my client always acted very rationally, it's impossible for her to be bipolar.

On the other hand, my ex wife was diagnosed with manic depression but heard it is very similar to bipolar and the thing I can say, to strangers who didn't know her or even coworkers, they all thought she was an angel and she seemed so well put together on the outside. But behind closed doors, she was a totally different person. She was full of hate, she was aggressive, she was violent towards me, and she was definitely not the same person. My friends all think she is so nice and when I told them how she really is, they had a hard time believing me. I can't imagine my client being exactly the same as there is no way she could have a marriage last that long.

[reb569]

HOW CAN GORGEOUS WOMEN BE BIPOLAR?
It's even harder for me to believe, a gorgeous woman who is not only a gifted writer, but she is obviously extremely intelligent and very classy. Do people who are afflicted with bipolar can be classy or does this disease hollow out somebody's personality? She is married, has a few kids and probably been married for 9 years I am guessing, but thinking if she was bipolar her marriage wouldn't have lasted as long. My stereotype is people who are afflicted with bipolar are basically middle to low income people. The prettier and more attractive folks rarely ever have this disorder
the only maybe only indication she is bipolar is when I first met her, she was way too skinny and borderline anorexic.

People from every walk of life can have bipolar disorder. It doesn't discriminate based on physical appearance or income. And yes, "classy" people can and do have bipolar disorder. Please stop what you are doing, I find it somewhat offensive the way you are characterizing those with Bipolar.

[Sunflower123]

HOW CAN GORGEOUS WOMEN BE BIPOLAR?
It's even harder for me to believe, a gorgeous woman who is not only a gifted writer, but she is obviously extremely intelligent and very classy. Do people who are afflicted with bipolar can be classy or does this disease hollow out somebody's personality? She is married, has a few kids and probably been married for 9 years I am guessing, but thinking if she was bipolar her marriage wouldn't have lasted as long. My stereotype is people who are afflicted with bipolar are basically middle to low income people. The prettier and more attractive folks rarely ever have this disorder
the only maybe only indication she is bipolar is when I first met her, she was way too skinny and borderline anorexic.

I have a bachelors degree, a masters degree and a CPA. I am highly intelligent, have been considered pretty all my life and had a very high paying job when I became ill. I was married for 20 years and divorced him. Please stop with the stereotypes. Apply your stereotypes to someone with a physical illness...say diabetes. Do you expect those with diabetes to be less than gorgeous or classy or intelligent or married or high income? Do you know they have diabetes by looking at them? How is mental illness different? You may have encountered mentally ill people who are symptomatic and that may be coloring some of what you're thinking. Borderline anorexic does not mean bipolar either. Manic-depression is what bipolar used to be called. Can you just accept that you don't know why she was so upset and move on? If the opportunity ever presents itself you could ask her but again please stop the stereotypes. They are incorrect and offensive. You seem like a nice guy and I'm sure you mean well.

Thinkmaster, your sexist comments and complete lack of knowledge about bipolar disorder, your remarks, your blatant stereotyping . . . . rather offensive and full of ignorance. I find it odd that you have this encounter with someone and come directly to a mental health forum to ask about it. That just doesn't seem like it would be most people's first line of action in that kind of casual situation.

I have bipolar disorder. I have been married 30 years. I have held a full-time job as a teacher for that entire time. I am highly intelligent, decently attractive for a 54-year-old mother of three solid and responsible sons. I sing with a major symphony chorus. I'm considered by most people to be calm and kind, patient and pleasant. People around me wouldn't know I have bipolar disorder if I did not give them that information.

[thinkmaster]

Originally Posted by reb569

People from every walk of life can have bipolar disorder. It doesn't discriminate based on physical appearance or income. And yes, "classy" people can and do have bipolar disorder. Please stop what you are doing, I find it somewhat offensive the way you are characterizing those with Bipolar.

I am sorry if I offended you. It was not my intent but there are some tough questions I felt needed to be asked. I am thankful for the insight and learning from this.

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

HOW CAN GORGEOUS WOMEN BE BIPOLAR?
It's even harder for me to believe, a gorgeous woman who is not only a gifted writer, but she is obviously extremely intelligent and very classy. Do people who are afflicted with bipolar can be classy or does this disease hollow out somebody's personality? She is married, has a few kids and probably been married for 9 years I am guessing, but thinking if she was bipolar her marriage wouldn't have lasted as long. My stereotype is people who are afflicted with bipolar are basically middle to low income people. The prettier and more attractive folks rarely ever have this disorder
the only maybe only indication she is bipolar is when I first met her, she was way too skinny and borderline anorexic.

I have a bachelors degree, a masters degree and a CPA. I am highly intelligent, have been considered pretty all my life and had a very high paying job when I became ill. I was married for 20 years and divorced him. Please stop with the stereotypes. Apply your stereotypes to someone with a physical illness...say diabetes. Do you expect those with diabetes to be less than gorgeous or classy or intelligent or married or high income? Do you know they have diabetes by looking at them? How is mental illness different? You may have encountered mentally ill people who are symptomatic and that may be coloring some of what you're thinking. Borderline anorexic does not mean bipolar either. Manic-depression is what bipolar used to be called. Can you just accept that you don't know why she was so upset and move on? If the opportunity ever presents itself you could ask her but again please stop the stereotypes. They are incorrect and offensive. You seem like a nice guy and I'm sure you mean well.

I am sorry and didn't mean to offend you. I just never had anybody show so much rage for just being late. I've had people cancel on me and it usually comes with a phone call or text, but the level of aggression and outburst of anger was just unreal. I have ADHD and I have never yelled or screamed at anybody like this as I am always calm. At this point I am scared to continue our business relationship and I don't think she will call me, but i just wanted to understand what can cause somebody to flip out like that. I also thank you for revealing to me that you cannot tell someone is bipolar by looking at them or observing behavior. I guess that just goes to show my ignorance on this topic. The reason I am here on this forum is to try and find answers. And thanks for sharing that people who have bipolar are extremely intelligent and well educated. That is something my client is,
very well educated, but it's still hard to believe something can be wrong.
I have known her for 2 years and she has never ever acted this way,
but then again I have no idea how she really is behind closed doors.
I know my ex wife, friends would have never guessed she was very aggressive behind closed doors but on the outside she was all smiles

[raspberrytorte]

Doesn't sound bipolar to me.

It reminds me of when I was in the hospital and one of the patients claimed that her roommate was bipolar because she was so angry. I really found that offensive. Especially since were in a psychiatric ward. It actually really pissed me off.

[gina_re]

Wow dude, you're still stigmatizing the disorder. It's a disorder not a decision. It can affect anyone, physical characteristics and income aside.

Bipolar can affect anyone. Beautiful, ugly, ignorant, smart, rich, poor, it does not discriminate. But you sure do. I've laughed at your posts because of how ignorant you are on the subject. You do seem sexist as others have pointed out. It would all be funny if prejudice didn't have such ugly consequences within our societies. Please take some time to educate yourself and stop stereotyping unfairly. Good luck on your growing and learning.

[bioChE]

Does nobody else think this is a troll?

[scatterbrained04]

Maybe she was just really mad at you. You're better off just asking her.

At this point this thread really annoys me, and I think it should be locked. It's not doing anyone any good.

[raspberrytorte]

Originally Posted by bioChE

Does nobody else think this is a troll?

It really could be.

Originally Posted by bioChE

Does nobody else think this is a troll?

I thought it was my paranoia, but yes, I really do. Glad I'm not the only one.

[thinkmaster]

Originally Posted by scatterbrained04

Maybe she was just really mad at you. You're better off just asking her.

At this point this thread really annoys me, and I think it should be locked. It's not doing anyone any good.

To answer the accusations no I am not a troll I assure you I am not. This is and was the first time ever I went on a board like this. I honestly have never had anybody get enraged over being 4 hours late. Regardless of the fact she felt my favors were only because I had a crush on her, nobody would have reacted that angry over being late. The way she was yelling was as if I was a husband who cheated on her.

I will do everybody a favor and not post or write on this board again. I came for some answers, I had no idea what bipolar is, I just had some stereotypes and I am so sorry if I offended any of you. Anyway good luck and will not be visiting this site again.

@scatterbrain, yes she was upset at me but for gosh sakes to get that angry when I was doing her a favor, she could have cut me some slack. If you anybody were there to witness what was going on, you would see a woman pointing and yelling at me to "come here!", I had to stand at a specific spot,
then she was really doing her best to intimidate and make me feel less than zero. Honestly the crime did not fit the punishment. I may have canceled the appointment, sent a text or called saying hey forget it man, don't come over,
but she obviously wanted me to come over so she could bash me. She knows I am very scared of her and she knows I am vulnerable to women who get aggressive with me. I am a very sweet guy, I have always treated everybody male of female as my best friends and with kid gloves. I have never yelled at a vendor or client for any reason.

[BlueInanna]

You were 4 hours late. That's a waste of her time waiting, favor or not. I'd be pissed too. This is not a sign of bipolar. It's a sign you are unorganized and think you're above being on time somewhere. You seem to want a lot of recognition for these favors you do. Maybe you're so late because you don't really want to be doing them. Maybe you're passive aggressive that she's married when you want her. I suggest some counseling for yourself.