Up all night and scared

I've been up all night and I am not doing well. I am crying a little bit and feel frightened.

My 23 YO son has been snapping at me lately and I am so tired of it. I texted him and told him to stop. He is acting like a bully when I am so fragile. I don't want to live with him anymore.

I see my pdoc in about a week and a half. She will probably just tell me to think "happy thoughts". That doesn't work well for me.

I am not sure what to do.

Hello lilypup, I am sorry to hear that you are struggling.

I apologize if this sounds too forward, but have you thought about making your son move out if he does not stop his bullying behaviour?

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. You need to have your son move out to protect your mental well being. Can you switch to a new pdoc? Doesn't sound like this one fits the bill. Hope things straighten out for you soon. Thinking of you.

I am doing better. I found someone to talk to and then my husband woke up. I may go IP...not sure right now.

Thanks for listening.

My 20 yr old son has mental illness himself and acts like a bully too. Several months back his behavior added to me losing my mind and my parents decided to let him stay with them to allow me to heal. He bullies them now....can't help himself because he's so grumpy and has his own problems he can't see past. My parents are about to put him on the streets which I can't allow so he might be coming back which terrifies me. I love him so much but he tears me down with his attitudes and behaviors. I guess what I'm saying is....I relate and I'm so sorry for all you go through. PM me anytime if you need to talk or vent. (((Hugs)))

Thanks so much Elsa. I know you do understand.

Well, got some new information. Son says he snapped at me because he had a bad panic attack last night and was coughing from his cold. He apologized. I know he missed his meds yesterday morning and also this morning (Lexapro). I told him we could try some melatonin tonight. He also says he is having anger problems (duh!), but that he talks to his T about it. He says she is helpful which is good.

He has two job interviews tomorrow. I hope he will go and he gets a job.

I didn't sleep all night because I forgot MY meds! I have no idea why that didn't occur to me as I was up pacing around.

hopefully tonight will be better for everyone.

Glad you guys talked!!

I hope today is a better day?

(((((( Lilypup ))))))


WC

Hope you'll be able to work things out, or protect yourself from this abuse.

Yes, today is a much better day, because I slept all night. I am really able to cope when I get some sleep.

Regarding my son:
He is 23, living at home, and going to school. He has been diagnosed with depression, and in the last few months finally agreed to take medication for it. When he is on his meds, he is pretty decent moodwise and is relatively friendly.
I have 2 T's. He also sees one of mine. (Which I know is weird...it just worked out that way.)
One of my T's would say to throw him out on his butt. I would happily send him off somewhere, if he had someplace to go. But he doesn't. I do like knowing that he gets food and is safe when he is living here. The other T is sympathetic towards him. She keeps kindly advising us to be patient with him and not to make him move. She said he needs his family around him as he fights this depression and anger.
So I guess he stays here for a while. My husband has no MI and is very calm. He doesn't bother my husband too much.
We are just trying to get him through school and in a decent job. I know we might seem to be enabling him, but you have to know him. He def has some challenges and is not your average kid.
But I would give everyone else the same advice: "Your 23 YO kid is mean to you? Kick him out!" So I understand those of you who suggested that and I thank you.

I am glad today is a better day.

I am impressed with how you care for your son. I hope there can be peace between all. We all need supportive family during depressions. Many of us wish we had family support.

With Admiration,


WC

Thanks a lot, WC. I know deep down we are doing the right thing even when the road seems really rocky.

I can really relate. My son is 25 and lives with (probably always will). He was diagnosed with bp1 at age 14. I was diagnosed bp1 not long after. The stress of my so brought it to the point I had to see a pdoc. He is very hard to live with and I am the target of all his abuse. I love him so much and there are times when we get along great, but it's tough walking on egg shells all the time. But I understand completely. They have problems too and need love and support.
Just like you some nights I just can't sleep at all and then I realize at about 6am that I didn't take my meds that help me sleep, duh.
I'm glad you got some sleep and are doing better. Im here if you need someone to talk to.

Thanks Tkb. I know that feeling of walking on egg shells all of the time. I use that phrase with my husband.
My son has had a few really good days. Yesterday he had THREE job interviews. Today he is going out with his dad to look some more and pass his resume' out. I think finding a job will really help his self-esteem.
He is involved in music and making beats and he made a good decision last night. His friends were all going out to a show and he decided to stay home and rest as he has a bad cold.
It's just amazing what a little Lexapro can do!

My 20yr old daughter has depression and anxiety. She would like to move out but doesn't have enough money yet. She's saving as much as possible while going to college and working in retail. At least she has commission on top of her hourly wage, and she does pretty good on the job. Her coworkers and managers are another story. She used to be a terror but with her working she's mellowed out a bit. She wants to see a pdoc for the anxiety (so she can learn to drive a car) but she has phone phobia as well.

Lilypup, that's great that your son has some interviews lined up. My son is working, the problem is he usually doesn't keep his jobs too long. He did work at one job for two years and I was proud of him for that. He currently isn't on any meds. He refused to take them for about 5 years now. He differs from me in that I pretty constantly deal with depression where he is short tempered, arrogant and can't keep a dime in his pocket. He actually is doing better without his meds except for those issues. I know that sounds weird lol. But he tried several different combos and they just made him zombie like.