Do You Ever Feel Fragile?

i do often feel fragile. i dont think its necessarily 'mental illness' related per se. i spent most of my youth on the discard pile of society. i had it better than a lot of people, i realize that now--never went homeless, never lived in hardcore poverty, etc.--but a lot of stuff happened, was done to me, etc...and now...

well, i made it thru, by the grace of God...and im now a pariah. i also have my now "well-to-do" parents supporting+protecting me. again, my life is much better, safer, more comfortable than a lot of peoples'. i get that now. and yet...

i guess having been thru an existence as a labeled, stigmatized outcast, there's always some fragility there, more so than before. i am now healthy, smart, remarkably...whole, normal, even...but ive seen some of the dark side of what society (including Mental Health, Inc.) does to vulnerable people, people who don't matter to others, "society's rejects," etc.

i dunno. im now a christian. i believe in a loving, forgiving God. I also believe that human nature is cruel, often to the point of being vicious, even violent. is that being fragile, or is it just knowing the truth and having to deal with that?

Not all of us can appear normal....not for any length of time that is. It's always good advise to do so when possible, otherwise we'd walk around in such states I can't imagine. Even when I feel fragile in public, I would not appear as such most likely. Head is up, shoulders back, eyes peeled for potential dangers, I'm on alert and I think it transcribes as confidence which it's not. Just because I'm fragile doesn't mean I accept defeat.