[TheBiPolarSoldier]

I've done some googling and there's no absolute answer. I have a very hard time understanding my on feelings and I just can't seem to empathise with others. If someone told me there grandad died I'd say how awful it is but in the back of my mind I don't really give a shyt. I just kinda look at it like it's nobody to do with me like it's not any of my family or friends so it's of no loss to me so why would I feel any emotions towards it whatsoever.

It's more prominent when I'm hypo or full blown manic but even when I'm not its still there. If someone's upset I dunno what to say and most of the time I don't really care. (Unless it's close family or friends but I still struggle with them too (
But the thing is that I am a nice caring friendly person,it's like my lack of empathy is uncharacteristic(I don't think my friends and family view me this way but maybe they do ) but yet it's obviously an element of my character.

It actually doesn't bother that much I'd just like to have a better understanding of it.

Thanks for taking the time to read,

Frank.

[TheBiPolarSoldier]

Does it make me in some way a bad person? I'm not a sociopath or anything but I know it's not normal behaviour either.

[Sunflower123]

Other posters may have a better understanding of it....maybe you just have a low level of empathy that is part of your personality. I am on the other end of the spectrum...I am highly sensitive with a high level of empathy. Other's moods affect me. Do you think any experiences in your life impacted your sense of empathy? Has a personality disorder been ruled out? I don't think it makes you a bad person you just have a low level of empathy. Best wishes.

Hi there,

I am a tad confused - do you mean lack of empathy with Bipolar Disorder, or Borderline Personality Disorder?

I ask because the short form for Borderline is BPD, which is in your title, but you posted this in the Bipolar thread and seem to be referring to Bipolar Disorder (the short form for that is usually BP).

[dshantel]

I think I was a little confused when I first read this but I did look it up. I just came across a bunch of articles about the difference in empathy and sympathy. There were a few other things about personality disorders. I dont think that there is anything wrong with the way you're feeling. I'm no expert. Im not the best at exactly trying feel what others feel during hard times. I usually feel kind of awkward. Like I'm out of place. Just want you to know that it doesn't make you a bad person.

[TheBiPolarSoldier]

I mean bipolar disorder.

[Wild Coyote]

Your lack of empathy is not rooted in Bipolar illness.

There are several different causes for a lack of empathy.
Your pdoc/therapist can help you to discover more about yourself in this regard.

No, this does not make you a bad person.


WC

[Icare dixit]

It can be a consequence of mania and depression.

At times you don't care about anything, everything is meaningless, you're not emphatic.

When everything is less important than what you want to achieve or people are instrumental in what really only you want to achieve, you're not emphatic.

Personality problems/disorders can make things worse (and chronic).

Schizophrenia (being in some ways similar to both BP and BPD) causes a (chronic) lack of empathy (and emotions in general).

[*Laurie*]

Sometimes a feeling of not giving a shyt is due to depression.

Are you young-ish? Have you ever lost someone important? Empathy often develops with age and experience. It's hard to care about someone losing someone if you've never lost someone important and experienced the pain of it. Also, if you are in pain, it's often hard to see past that and feel for others who are in pain. I doubt you are a terrible person....probably either depressed or inexperienced.

Edited to add: when I'm manic I can be much more self involved and less empathetic. When stable I'm overly empathic.

[markmcc21]

I have very low empathy. I don't know whether it's the bipolar. I do know it's especially bad when I'm particularly depressed. I only have enough energy to give a crap about me. But even when I'm not depressed it's difficult. For me, I think it comes from a pseudo-nihilism which lives in me.

[TheBiPolarSoldier]

I'll be 30 in September and no I've never lost anyone close like my grandparents died of old age and that didn't really bother me too much at all. Ye I think it's hard to feel others pain when I'm dealing with my own emotional problems which obviously have to come first.
I think a lot of it is experience and I was only diagnosed 12 months so I still have a lot to learn

I think people have varying degrees of empathy for a reason. Take for instance me, I have too much. If I worked in an ER, I would be a mess....sobbing and crying for peoples pain and I'd get nothing done. Take my oldest son who wants to be a nurse....he would do great at a job like this. A therapist who can't empathize wouldn't be useful to me or help me get better. We need all kinds of people in this world and as long as you don't intentionally harm others, don't beat yourself up for not feeling the pain of others....it can be a liability sometimes. In time I'm sure you will be in situations where you are able to empathize. Focus on what you do have as I'm sure you have an abundance of good qualities.

Outside of my reaction when losing my dad to cancer several years ago, I have had very little in the way of a reaction to someone else's loss of a loved one. I don't know if I can truly call it a lack of empathy or not though. It is as if my wires are crossed. I accept and process the information, but it doesn't go anywhere or do anything. I feel incredibly awkward because I "know" I am supposed to display some emotion but it is like those facilities are not available to me. I am just sort of there and not useful for anyone grieving.

[Unrigged64072835]

My empathy tends to come and go depending on how I'm feeling. Medications can also cause a flatness in emotions.

I have some empathy now, but I've also had times when I just went with the flow and stayed calm. (Like when I lost my anniversary ring)