[Crook32]

Someone on my Facebook today said this quote "When you commit suicide, you're not getting rid of the pain... you're giving it to someone who cares about you"

My initial reaction was anger. I can see what they are trying to say but if you have never been in that pain you just don't know.

[Icare dixit]

It makes sense. You'd make people feel inadequate. Or be confronted with it. Your inability becomes their inability, in a way.

Pain is undervalued.

But where you can't be sure of your inadequacy, your lack of potential, they can be sure they were inadequate. Ending your life guarantees failure.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Crook32

Someone on my Facebook today said this quote "When you commit suicide, you're not getting rid of the pain... you're giving it to someone who cares about you"

My initial reaction was anger. I can see what they are trying to say but if you have never been in that pain you just don't know.

WOW. I've never thought of it that way. True, it's hypocritical of somebody to say that when they've never been in that kind of pain but it's also true isn't it? I'll remember this the next time I'm in that position. Best wishes.

[TheBiPolarSoldier]

I agree with the fb post.. You're passing on pain but a different kind of pain and to more people than you think you are. I have suacidal thought almost every week but you must remember that it is never an option, think of it as you're taking on the pain of many others so its just you who feels the pain or else everybody around you will have to indure it. Consider it as "taking one for the team".One must stay alive at all cost.

It's true really. I've seen the effect of being the survivor of someone else's suicide.

[Unrigged64072835]

It's true. From having someone close kill himself, it makes sense. It's rougher when you're in that pain, though, to see the consequences versus stopping the pain.

[markmcc21]

The expression is true, but the person who wrote it doesn't realize the cloud of judgment the pain can cause. The pain a suicidal person is in can prevent him/her from understanding this quite valid point.

I think this is true as well. I've heard it when I was younger and it's probably the number one reason why I'm still here.

[leejosepho]

Originally Posted by Crook32

My initial reaction was anger.

I can understand your feeling anger if you were looking for something other than how to better deal with the thought of suicide, but I do not think the person who said that (whether for its shock value or simply to offer something to ponder beyond mere thoughts of oneself) was out-of-line in doing so. A man once told some of us he was pondering suicide and I told him I would not be attending his funeral unless he first gave me a call to say "Goodbye"...and then he gave me the call a few days later and I was able to get a Sheriff's Deputy to intervene...and now today that man is my successful son-in-law.

Would your own reaction be different today?

There is some truth to most things that are said. It's also true that the family and friends often fail a person in this kind of pain....they say and do things to make it worse and actually cause it in some cases. Blaming does no good at all. It's just a tragedy and that's the end of it. We can point fingers or see it for what it is. If life is preferable to death, those left alive still have it better. If life is not, then why blame someone who opts out. I see this from all sides and I will always be left feeling sad for those left behind and wishing peace for the person who was in so much torment, they did something the body protects you from doing at almost all costs. Why blame? I guess if it makes people feel better, do what you feel is helpful.

I think the fb post is true but misleading. Pain isn't pain. There's varying degrees of pain. And
how long have you had that pain. I've been in a lot of pain my entire life. That's a lot of suffering. Why should I be forced to continue that pain so that others are not in pain. It's all messed up. I still continue to live in pain so my parents don't feel any.

People act like suicide is a normal rational thought process. It's usually a symptom of serious mental illness. SERIOUS MENTAL ILLNESS. The person is typically not thinking rationally and they are certainly not well. Comments like this person made are intended to blame and shame. we can blame the friends who knew something was wrong but didn't reach out....the family for not recognizing the signs, or we can stop being azzholes and see the tragedy for what it is. Blaming is pointless at the end of it all. Our body's naturally protect us from harm....it's not easy to kill your self. When someone does it's a sign that something horrible has gone wrong inside of them. i just don't understand what people think they are doing by shaming people who have attempted or succeed. What sickness.

[leejosepho]

Originally Posted by unreality

I think the fb post is true but misleading. Pain isn't pain. There's varying degrees of pain.

Yes, and likely just as many differing causes with some that cannot be relieved.

Originally Posted by unreality

Why should I be forced to continue that pain so that others are not in pain.

You are not. People might not be able to relieve your pain and some might not even care or try, but nobody is forcing me to endure mine.

Originally Posted by unreality

I still continue to live in pain so my parents don't feel any.

Personally, I believe that is a sign of great personal character and I encourage you to continue on as best you possibly can...and that includes doing whatever you can or must to find some relief for your own.

[~Christina]

True , my family and friends would live with pain and self blame thinking they could have done something, anything all their life.

[KristenRenee]

Originally Posted by Crook32

Someone on my Facebook today said this quote "When you commit suicide, you're not getting rid of the pain... you're giving it to someone who cares about you"

My initial reaction was anger. I can see what they are trying to say but if you have never been in that pain you just don't know.

That's an interesting statement. I never thought of it like that before. I guess you would get rid of your pain but others would be in pain for you being gone. But in my case, I think some sbe relieved. I know that sound horrible but it's true. I used to be suicidal, but not anymore, not since i've been on the right psych medication thank god.

[wonderluster]

How nice it is to have people that care who would feel sorrow if you checked yourself out. Tell the people who care that your pain is so bad that you want to end your life. See how much they really care. If someone really cares they will do anything and everything to help you. You just have to tell them.