[x_blessed]

Me and my boyfriend are not married but have been in a long term relationship. Earlier in our relationship he cheated and had a baby on me, I also became pregnant and had a miscarriage. She went on to have her baby by him and he, as he was from the start, was adamant about wanting to be with me and was over and beyond apologetic. Of course you may know , I stayed. Took a while but I have forgiven and we moved on, left it in the past where it belongs, I'm content on that situation. BUT what I'm not very content about is his family, before all of this we had a good relationship but i did stray away because I was scared of the picking sides, I have trust issues of course. And watching infidelity and taking sides within my own family played a role too. But fast forward to now, he works a lot so he hardly spend time with his own family but just recently I came to Father's Day dinner and it dawned on me (because I wasn't able to test it out before, and i have been trying to made amends with his mother and only sister for past disagreements and all seem to be well or could be fake) that i am very uncomfortable around his family, I don't "fit in", stick out like a sore thumb. And after all that we have already been through I'm ready to throw in the towel with trying with his family. I feel like they don't try with me so why should I. Sometimes i feel like they'll rather him be with her instead of me. This is not what I wanted so it is very bothersome. I wanted a togetherness and to be close. Again, we are not married but why should I expect it to get better once that happens.????

Any help, advice, recommendations are welcome. Thanks .!!!

[Fuzzybear]

I can only empathise

I haven't "done" anything "wrong" but the distance..,

Not "fitting in"

Having to censor things I say, who I am....

[Sunflower123]

Whether you and your boyfriend stay together as is or end up getting married, it would be more peaceful if everyone was on good terms. If you catch one of them alone you could broach the situation by saying something like we used to be closer but I feel a distance now. Did something happen. If you have to choose between writing them off versus going the extra mile for peaceful relationships I think long term the latter would be better. It doesn't matter who takes the first step. Best wishes.