[Icare dixit]

Are you generally (not just during mania or depression) good at self-deception? Not just being in denial about your problems, but at convincing yourself (too easily) that you can or cannot do something or should or shouldn't do something, that you deserve or need (or that you don't deserve or need) something you really shouldn't (or should) allow yourself to do or have or that you (or others) are something you're (or they're) not.

How good are you at convincing others of such deceptions? Does it (sometimes) feel like you're manipulating other people? How often do you change your mind? Are you unsure what to believe?

Do you have more problems with this when depressed? Do you think it's shameful, that it makes you weak? Is this what depression for you is all about?

Do you deny yourself pleasure, some indulgence, happiness, or something (else) that's good for you, something that satisfies your needs, because it makes you feel stronger, to make up for your feeble mind?

Edit;
For me it's (still, pretty much) yes (or very) to all of the above, except that my more severe depressions are probably somewhat affected by it, but it's not an essential part of it).

[leejosepho]

My mind can become convinced of some delusional (less than fully-informed) conclusions, but I do not call that "self-deception" because it is not being done consciously or willfully, just after-the-fact knowingly. A recent example has to do with a certain medication for a physical problem, and my mind has drawn a certain conclusion (with supporting reasoning) against taking the medication because it does not have the information it believes it needs to arrive at any different conclusion. I become convinced it is best to not take the medication, and part of that conclusion is founded upon avoiding or escaping the mental overload that takes place when trying to think the matter through more fully.

How good are you at convincing others of such deceptions? Does it (sometimes) feel like you're manipulating other people? How often do you change your mind? Are you unsure what to believe?

Some people are easy to convince where others are not, and it takes effort for me to *not* manipulate others into support for my questionable conclusion. I am definitely able to question my conclusion, but I am not likely to change my mind until having more reason than the mere fact my conclusion is questionable.

Do you have more problems with this when depressed? Do you think it's shameful, that it makes you weak? Is this what depression for you is all about?

Depression and mental overload seem to go hand-in-hand for me, and I am not shamed by the fact I can do nothing about that.

Do you deny yourself pleasure, some indulgence, happiness, or something (else) that's good for you, something that satisfies your needs, because it makes you feel stronger, to make up for your feeble mind?

My mind is not feeble and I am not my own judge, jury or executioner.

[Unrigged64072835]

i often feel like I've been deceptive, even with myself. I'm constantly testing myself to see if I'm still ill and not just "faking it."

[Ripose]

From the time of my mental breakdown around 1989 I lived in a constant state of anosognosia right until I was diagnosed in 2004. Now after years of meds and doctors I feel as if I am faking it, that I am perfectly fine and should be able to stop my meds and go right back to full time employment.

I deny myself the ability to laugh because I think that would just prove my point, that there is nothing wrong with me but I am just too afraid to change now.

Did I make any sense here?