[Icare dixit]

I wrote all this to discover I wasn't allowed to post. Not reading what you don't like makes it less likely you find help, I think, but maybe not. I'm not like some BPD person who takes this too personal, luckily.

Maybe somebody else things it's helpful:

I also avoid people due to borderline psychotic and neurotic personality problems, too much or too little certainty and confidence. Fear of getting too close. Believing what's bad for me to be good for me. Opting for the certainty of failure if there's a chance of success.

My advice: (at least) spend time with other people with BPD. You can create a bond neither of you can destroy, you know it because you've tried it (when/if necessary) and that certainty makes all the difference. But maybe it'll do more harm than good.

I don't see how other close relationships could possibly work, but maybe I'm wrong. Explaining yourself the best you can does help. Doubting yourself and believing in yourself when appropriate, when you wouldn't otherwise. Asking for clarification instead of assuming too much. Be a bit less authentic than you want to be; control every (form of) expression (it's difficult to control yourself otherwise). Expect others to be less authentic than they can be.

I think DBT is the best treatment available at the moment. But at one point I didn't give it a chance either. I didn't want to change. That's probably the biggest thing: don't be afraid to change (more fundamentally), to succeed. Change less of what you do and how you appear and more of what hasn't changed (or only very slowly) for too long.