[Crook32]

"Normal" people never think about their death or how to end things. So why is that all I can think of. I probably spend most of my day playing out scenarios in my head trying to figure out what will or won't work. Even though I know I am too big of a coward to ever act on any of these thoughts. Am I the only one that does this? Am I that broken?

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Crook32

"Normal" people never think about their death or how to end things. So why is that all I can think of. I probably spend most of my day playing out scenarios in my head trying to figure out what will or won't work. Even though I know I am too big of a coward to ever act on any of these thoughts. Am I the only one that does this? Am I that broken?

I think about it fairly frequently but not how to carry it out. Did you say you see your pdoc on the 20th? It sounds like your meds need to be reevaluated. I hope you feel better soon.

[Crook32]

Saw him yesterday and he lowered my lithium. I see him again on the 20th. He knows lowering the lithium will mess with my mood but he hopes it will help with the symptoms/side effects I am having. Then we will add another med.

[dshantel]

I'm usually like this when triggered by things during the day. Or if I'm in a high stress situation it starts happening. It's almost like my mind's go to thing to do. It's like oh I'm feeling stressed or bad or sad so let's start thinking of ways to not be here anymore. Im not going to do anything either but you're definitely not alone.

[Guiness187055]

It happens to me too. Albeit a heck of a lot less since I started wellbutrin.

I try not to think about death but it creeps into my thoughts daily. I'm not always thinking of suicide but rather when and how I will die. I'm very worried about when and how I will die. I also wonder what will honestly happen when I die. Right now I don't believe there is a heaven or hell. I'm scared for it all to end.

[Theseus]

My therapist called it "escape fantasy", at least in my case.

[Goals2017]

Don't think about methods but do think about suicide lately I try my best to force the thoughts out cause I don't want to die or suicide.. But it's been harder and harder to see me making it to my older years. Hope you get well with your thinking!

[emgreen]

I have these thoughts when depressed...which is fairly frequently. I think of means by which I could accomplish it, but most of them involve being in or around the house (I wouldn't want my wife to find me), & I'm unable to buy a gun. I'm not sure if "cowardice," or "escape fantasy" is more appropriate (I've seen both written), but I think I "just think" more than having "actual intent."

Originally Posted by neodk

I also wonder what will honestly happen when I die. Right now I don't believe there is a heaven or hell.

I'm an atheist, but I'm currently watching a show called "Preacher" which deals with the concept of hell. It's ironic that an atheist can be afraid of hell; maybe I should just stop watching this show, but I'm hooked.

[Crook32]

My head just feels so weird. Not the fog you get with depression. It is something else I can't explain.

[MatBell]

I think about it a lot. I often wish I could just do it. But as a thought it's soothing, an escape that is always there

[scatterbrained04]

Usually in severe depression, I know how I want to do it, have intent to do it, and am not scared to do it. It's more of a back and forth in my head about the situation as far as my son and family are concerned.

[Crook32]

Originally Posted by scatterbrained04

Usually in severe depression, I know how I want to do it, have intent to do it, and am not scared to do it. It's more of a back and forth in my head about the situation as far as my son and family are concerned.

Exactly me too