are you okay??

this thread.. dedicated to 1 of the most annoying questions in the world- are you okay?

for me, being okay means being free from all wories, of all problems in yout life, and you are happy and content with where you are- so for me, I am barely ever okay.. if someone asks me, I always say, no, it's been so long since I was okay (or sometimes I say, I wish I know what it felt like to be okay)

what does being okay mean to you, and what do you usually answer if someone asks are you okay?

I usually say I'm fine thanks how are you? I try not to get into a conversation re me.

Being okay means I'm neither manic nor depressed. It means I'm sleeping well and enjoying my life

This.

However, I do get annoyed when people ask me, verbatim, "Are you okay?" Usually they ask me that when they see I'm not doing so well, and it irks me because it reminds me of how terrible I'm feeling. I also can't tell the truth about why I'm feeling like sh_t because I don't want people asking questions that continue to remind me that I feel terrible.

To me ok is that generic answer that can mean:
I actually am ok.
I'm actually being swallowed by a giant black cloud but you just can't see it.
I'm fantastic, give me a drink I'm the life of the party.

Yet I will answer ok to all three. I'm currently the second ok

I hope you feel better soon!

WC

To me, "Are you okay?" implies more concern than "How's it going?" or "How are you?". I only hear it from people who know me well and are looking for a real answer. "Everything going okay?" falls into the almost meaningless greeting category, though.

So, what does "okay" mean to me? It doesn't mean "no problem" because BP is a problem that never really goes away. But sometimes the monster is sleeping and that's okay. Sometimes it's awake but I am putting up a good fight; that's shoulder shrug "okay, I guess". Sometimes I am in the belly of the beast and that most certainly is not okay.

My answers are

Yes I am
Yes I'm not
Yes it's not you business

I feel like usually when someone asks that question, they already know that the answer is NO. They can tell something is wrong. By asking they get to show concern.
But even though they may genuinely care and want to help, i think people often subconsciously want to be lied to...

Telling somebody that I am not okay to me means that I am asking for their help and involving them in my problems. If I do answer honestly to that question when im not doing well, I usually answer "no I'm not okay, But I will be...". Then I am not lying and I am having faith that things will get better.

Sometimes it's exhausting faking being fine when I am depressed. But while I am scared of being found out as depressed when I am working so hard to appear normal, it would be refreshing just once to have someone ask "are you okay?", me answer "yes I am fine", and them respond "no you are not" and actually see me for once.

I grew up in a lot of chaos and trauma.
"Are you okay?" means to me: Are you surviving?
The answer is yes, no matter how bad things have become.


WC

usually I say yes. How are you or I will be if it's someone I trust.

"R u ok?" Is a way of giving the illusion that they care for image sake...and you know they are hoping the answer is going to be "yes" because like they are really wanting to know, unless they are a medical professional. When you actually say "no,...." ....they look at you like they wished that they have never uttered them words....so to appease their ego, I say "yes".

I think my new answer is going to be "you have no idea, c-ya"

Reminds me of when people you don't know or just me ask you how you are. You could tell them the truth - I was contemplating my end last night - or just say "I'm fine". I hate how fake that is but it's easier than getting into how you were in the psych ER last night.

The one that drives me nuts is when I have the right to be angry about something (kitchen that I cleaned is a mess etc) and hubby says "did you take your meds today"?
Yes I did and I have the right to be angry about this mess