[UpDownMiddleGround]

My cousin just called and asked if he can stay at my place for about 3 months until he can find a place. I'm freaking out. 1) I'm going out of town and would rather I be here when he comes 2) since being diagnosed, it has basically been me and my son. I have not had to live around another adult who could judge and question my actions (not getting out of bed, etc.) 3) my meds. . . they're everywhere. . . what do I do with them? He doesn't know. . . . 4) what's fair for getting him to contribute to household expenses? How do I ensure that I don't let home take advantage of me?

All of these questions are swirling around with this coming on a day when I was already worried about people at work not liking me, not feeling like I do a good enough job, and worried that I will be written up or let go eventually.

This is coming right after I have had a week of 4 missed doses of medication. I can't tell if I'm thinking rationally or not. Is there a reason to panic? Can't tell if this is a good idea or not. . . and Ive told him yes.

[Victoria'smom]

1) Can he hold on until you come back?
2) Hopefully he won't judge you. He's living in your house
3) keep your meds in a dollar tree container in your room
4) Depends on what he's able to pay. If he can pay the internet bill or electric that will help a lot besides that his food and own personal items.

You don't HAVE to allow him to come!!!!!! You are not responsible! Each of us must take care of ourselves FIRST. He must take care of HIMself. You are not his only option, and if he thinks you are, he is mistaken. There are always choices: his and yours. Either he is preying on your good nature, or else you are allowing yourself to be preyed upon.

If you allow this man to come stay with you even for ONE DAY, hey, it's already pushing you over the edge. It sounds like either he is demanding that you provide for him, OR you are are demanding that of yourself. Don't do it. You don't even have to let him in at all! If you love him and want to see him, meet at a coffeehouse someplace for a SHORT visit. If you don't have the physical and/or emotional energy to do that, then don't do even that.

Hey, I know. I'm freaking out, too,in my own life. Physical problems are piling up. The bank that's been incompetent for two whole months now has all my accounts open to the public online. No password needed -- just press "log in." And they say it's "my computer" that is at fault, right? Riiiggggt. So tomorrow, I have to go to another bank, open accounts, go to the old bank, close out, and put the money into the new bank. I cancelled my music lesson. I cancelled a medical appointment and an art class. I need rest more than anything, and can't sleep, either. Would I allow a cousin or even a sibling or a parent come visit me now? No way. And I'm retired -- I don't even have to worry about supporting myself at work, like apparently you need to do.

[UpDownAround]

If the cousin knew me well enough to ask this, I would come out as bipolar.
Put the meds away.
Love your user name - are we long lost sibs?

[Victoria'smom]

Congratulations on one month clean and sober.

[Unrigged64072835]

My husband and I put our meds in a lockbox that we got from Lowe's. Even if someone steals the box they'll have a hard time opening it.

When our daughter's boyfriend moved in we wrote up a simple rental agreement with him, outlining what we expected. If we have to evict him we'll at least have legal documentation, though it's not necessary.

[UpDownMiddleGround]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

1) Can he hold on until you come back?
2) Hopefully he won't judge you. He's living in your house
3) keep your meds in a dollar tree container in your room
4) Depends on what he's able to pay. If he can pay the internet bill or electric that will help a lot besides that his food and own personal items.

Well, I decided to let him come. I'm proud of myself for considering myself and saying that he had to wait for me to get back in town. I also checked in with a few family members. I also told him how much he would need to pay (much less than he would have to pay living on his own). I think he wanted to come for free. . . I ain't got it like that.

[UpDownMiddleGround]

Originally Posted by UpDownAround

If the cousin knew me well enough to ask this, I would come out as bipolar.
Put the meds away.
Love your user name - are we long lost sibs?

I talked to my therapist about y his and she gave some good suggestions about how to address the mood changes without necessarily "spilling the beans." I will have to practice a little.

Definately siblings, lol!