[CherryGlazer]

Recently came across a massive folder document of things I wrote when manic/mixed and it kind of made me realize (again) that I was insane. Can anyone relate?

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When I thought I was a science genius (no experience):


why do you listen to sounds being made when atoms collide?But the illusion human consciousness creates is that the unit across trillions of seconds blends into the simulation of the known solid universe and that that the smallest unit of measurement takes up space 101010101 and not 0000001, and the simulation of the known universe is created.once around one orbit in comparison to another. time is the measurement of the distance needed to complete the orbit in comparison. the rate “speed” of units. 101010 as opposed to 1001001001 or 1111111.

Post-synase Then long term:
Too little p+ left to depolarize with same amount of a mph
remaining p+ goes to Ndma and Ltcc to go to Ca++
Low Ca ++*
As well receptors less
Ca++ is not recycled forward to use by next.*
More DA in less Ca++ out*

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When I wanted to do/did too many unrealistic things:

i have no idea why i tried to set that diesel thing on fire yesterday or why i got chased by curmudgeons or why i had to take the fence out of the ground or why i had to jump inside a traktor and hop a construction site or why i had to run through all those sprinklers and climb those roofs*or why i walked all the way home from the other side of the world instead of taking the night bus. i only +LEVEL UP^*in stupidity*

i will work out and eat apples till my body will be perfect, like guys said it was. wearing nice clothes guys will look at me on the street. ill feel sexy. ill feel comfortable having sex with lots of hot guys

To-Do List
1. Playgrounds. always
2. Get a Job then Visit uncle in San Francisco by Dec
3. DIY & DIT
4. Roadtrip & Go mushroom picking*
Figure out the meaning of life

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When I thought there were patterns, conspiracies:

the person i used to be never died i saved them in my daydreams
and i go there for reassurancebut they’re killing mei can’t compete with them

to ease my anxiety i want to make a list of coincidences like that. am i being copied.
holographic talk with, NO. sonic, NO. lumpy, NO.
david symbol, NO. jeusus GIF, NO.
stereoscopic, NO.*

Apperently there was a tornado in barrie. it killed 3 people.
I don’t know what to think. because this is one story. but i have a lot of stories. i don’t understand why they are all from this year. its like this whole year everything i wish for happens, and to an extreme.

I like the kind of thinking were you approach understanding the causes and implications a complex situation by looking at it from multiple perspectives and separating speculation from definite understanding while looking for patterns in the possibilities which may separate the unrelated to the intristicly connected and provide a direction in which to develop theory into a more practical model.

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When I felt like a poet:

"that is not dead which can eternal lie,
and with strange aeons even death may die." - quote by who?
yet favours none till its own end
but love not time immune transcends

c think people die with their eyes open cuz they realize the light's been in the sky their entire lives and they want to see the sun shine one last time

my eyes turn into kaleidoscopes of images
and I'm leaking ideas
so i need them to flow out of somewhere
but they flow out of my pen*

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this is like 10% of it, and most wasn't digital and thrown out long ago...am I really that crazy???

[wildflowerchild25]

Ugh thankfully I never saved any of it. I posted one here years ago when I was super manic. It was practically unintelligible.