[boogiesmash]

What do I need to do so I won't be alone?

[Sunflower123]

Do you celebrate with your family and friends? Were you talking about a girlfriend? I'm glad you're ok btw. I was worried about you the other night. Sending big hugs.

[boogiesmash]

I haven't celebrated with anyone in a while. It is also my birthday which is also empty.

I think a good first step is to learn how to enjoy your own company. If you rely on others for happiness it can come off as desperate and to most people, it is a turn off. Are you in therapy? A therapist could really be helpful with this.

[boogiesmash]

Originally Posted by scaredandconfused

I think a good first step is to learn how to enjoy your own company. If you rely on others for happiness it can come off as desperate and to most people, it is a turn off. Are you in therapy? A therapist could really be helpful with this.

I am in therapy. What are you suggesting to do with my therapist? I really don't want to be alone again.

Originally Posted by boogiesmash

I am in therapy. What are you suggesting to do with my therapist? I really don't want to be alone again.

I am not a therapist so I can't answer that, but I would highly recommend bringing up this issue with your therapist if you haven't already. I can feel the desperation in your posts and unfortunately, most people are not drawn to that type of desperation.

Basically I think you need to work on your own mental well-being first. Get into a place in your life where you are content and keeping busy, then try to find friends and/or a partner. If you jump ahead and find a girlfriend right now, for example, you will probably be relying on her alone for happiness and that isn't fair to the person. The burden would quite possibly become too much for her and the relationship would end, leaving you feeling worse.

Do you work, go to school or volunteer? How do you spend your days usually? What would you like to change?

[Sunflower123]

Is today your birthday?

[boogiesmash]

My birthday is January 1.

Originally Posted by scaredandconfused

I am not a therapist so I can't answer that, but I would highly recommend bringing up this issue with your therapist if you haven't already. I can feel the desperation in your posts and unfortunately, most people are not drawn to that type of desperation.

Basically I think you need to work on your own mental well-being first. Get into a place in your life where you are content and keeping busy, then try to find friends and/or a partner. If you jump ahead and find a girlfriend right now, for example, you will probably be relying on her alone for happiness and that isn't fair to the person. The burden would quite possibly become too much for her and the relationship would end, leaving you feeling worse.

Do you work, go to school or volunteer? How do you spend your days usually? What would you like to change?

I work. I have been at my job 13 years. What I would like to change is my habit of going to bed. As soon as I go home all I do is go to bed and stay there. And do nothing.

Originally Posted by boogiesmash

My birthday is January 1.

I work. I have been at my job 13 years. What I would like to change is my habit of going to bed. As soon as I go home all I do is go to bed and stay there. And do nothing.

I can definitely relate to that...napping is one of my not so great coping mechanisms when I'm feeling low. It allows the time to pass without having to be conscious...so I can absolutely see the appeal of bed when feeling depressed.

Maybe you could start to slowly force yourself to stay out of bed longer than usual, even if just by 15 minute increments to begin. So if you usually are in bed for 3 hours, cut it down to 2 hours and 45 minutes or by however much you want, and work from there.

[boogiesmash]

Originally Posted by scaredandconfused

I can definitely relate to that...napping is one of my not so great coping mechanisms when I'm feeling low. It allows the time to pass without having to be conscious...so I can absolutely see the appeal of bed when feeling depressed.

Maybe you could start to slowly force yourself to stay out of bed longer than usual, even if just by 15 minute increments to begin. So if you usually are in bed for 3 hours, cut it down to 2 hours and 45 minutes or by however much you want, and work from there.

Um in in bed like literally all day. This past weekend I was in bed Friday from noon to 6. Took an ambien and woke up in the morning. Then woke up Saturday 540 pm. Went to work got home almost at 12. Stayed in bed didnt do anything. Fell asleep around 5. Woke up at 12. Said today be different and would go to gym at 3. I fell asleep and woke up at 7. Took an ambien cause had work next day and here I am.

Originally Posted by boogiesmash

Um in in bed like literally all day. This past weekend I was in bed Friday from noon to 6. Took an ambien and woke up in the morning. Then woke up Saturday 540 pm. Went to work got home almost at 12. Stayed in bed didnt do anything. Fell asleep around 5. Woke up at 12. Said today be different and would go to gym at 3. I fell asleep and woke up at 7. Took an ambien cause had work next day and here I am.

So what do you think would be a reasonable limit to set for time spent in bed? It doesn't have to be an insanely difficult goal, as long as you spend less time in bed then that is a big success. If you are used to spending 8 hours in bed, 7 and a half hours, for example, is still a noticeable improvement. Be kind to yourself as you try to change this habit, they can be hard to break.

[boogiesmash]

Originally Posted by scaredandconfused

So what do you think would be a reasonable limit to set for time spent in bed? It doesn't have to be an insanely difficult goal, as long as you spend less time in bed then that is a big success. If you are used to spending 8 hours in bed, 7 and a half hours, for example, is still a noticeable improvement. Be kind to yourself as you try to change this habit, they can be hard to break.

Very hard to break. I'd say staying just 8 hours would be a dramatic cut.

[bizi]

Happy birthday. (((((HUGS)))))
Perhaps you could try going for a walk? or exercising. This is something you could do to fill up time instead of bed and help you mentally and physically to better your self and it doesn't cost anything!.
bizi

[boogiesmash]

Originally Posted by bizi

Happy birthday. (((((HUGS)))))
Perhaps you could try going for a walk? or exercising. This is something you could do to fill up time instead of bed and help you mentally and physically to better your self and it doesn't cost anything!.
bizi

I have so many ideas. Go to the gym, park Starbucks and read, king fubsxhool, clean, laundry, and all I do is go back to bed.

[bizi]

Maybe just pick one thing? Go out side and lie in the grass feel nature.
(((((Hugs))))
bizi

[boogiesmash]

Birthday is in January.

[boogiesmash]

Five years ago from this New Years I tried to od. I was alone in so much pain from everything that's happen. I was hopeless didn't have a girlfriend, fat. Nothing has changed since then. I haven't lived. Been broke, haven't had a girlfriend, going to be alone again this year (I really don't want to).

[Woolly Bugger]

Perhaps you would benefit from a part-time job to keep you moving on the weekends. Maybe something that interests you. Or possibly some volunteer work. You might do better if you added structure to your free time. Best of luck to you.

[boogiesmash]

Yup check on the part time job. My hobby is kickboxing/Muay Thai but I have incredible anxiety trying to go to it.

[boogiesmash]

I can't remember the last time I had a New Years kiss or birthday kiss.

[boogiesmash]

I'm so pathetic.

[boogiesmash]

I really don't want to be alone

[~Christina]

I agree with cutting back mins back time in bed, cutting out napping would benefit you so much.

When you get up do you make your bed all tidy and neat? If not do so to encourage you to wait until bedtime to get in it.

I say stop trying to go to the gym it's proven a huge stress and you are taking on too much trying to go there, take a brisk walk.

You can feel better and I'm not being uncaring but meds can only do so much and we just have to jump back in and kick and claw ((((( hugs))))))