Finally! Some understanding from a pdoc

I have a sort of strange case of anxiety. When I was 17, it was the first time I attempted suicide and I didn't know what I was taking, but it was a whole bottle of my older brother's Adderall and Strattera. Ever since then, I've had severe severe anxiety. If I'm not on Benzos, I hide in my room under my blankets shaking because of the overdose of stimulants. It was 6 years ago, and I still have the effects. My pdoc who was taking me off the benzos told me he thinks I need them, but his medical practice can't prescribe them. So I was referred to UW-Madison psychiatry here in Wisconsin. They understood my case and I am now taking Ativan .5mg PRN and Valium 10mg 2 x day. I actually felt a little better a few months ago not taking anything but I still wouldn't leave my room or my home. I had wished I hadn't been put on the Ativan and Valium for the mania because I knew coming off of it would be a return to normal. But now I feel like I have my life back. It's like I can walk out on my porch and not feel anxious. I even went on a quick bike ride around the block. Still have a little phobia, but when this stuff builds up in my system I will get better. I know benzos are not to be prescribed for long term use, but I feel like psychiatry is not a religion. You can't just be an atheist when it comes to benzos, and have not faith in them, and you can't be dogmatic about prescribing them either. 2 years ago I was taken off klonipin over 2 months. I ended up in a psychiatric hospital for 11 days. On the tenth day, they put me back on klonipin, as I just shook and dissociated all day long. That hospital did not believe in benzos either. I think there are cases like mine where I need benzos. At least I am moving back in the right direction.

"Moving in the right direction" - beautiful words!

Yes, my pdoc agrees that I need benzos for severe anxiety. I'm lucky to have a pdoc who still believes in them and prescibes them for me.

Reminds me a little of Obelix.. taking one overdose and having the effects last years.

It's really unfortunate that I did what I did. One pdoc told me, "this is just the consequences of your actions." Very misunderstanding. One thing about University docs is that they can do things for a patient that another practice won't do, especially benzos.

Sorry, I didn't mean to imply it was positive.

Oh no! I didn't see it as that at all.

I am glad your pdoc listens deeply and works to meet your needs!

Some people definitely benefit from benzodiazepines.

Thanks for sharing.


WC

It is so refreshing to find a good, understanding and competent pdoc. I am glad you found them. Benzo's are addictive so there is a lot of resistance against them but I too have to take them and have been for seven years, lowering doses when able. One day I would like to come off but there is no rush. I just want to be stable and have a satisfying life.