[99fairies]

My 3 kids went back to school today... first time they are all going full time. I'm lost, my kids are my life and I don't know what to do without them. I already cleaned the house today and now I just miss them. I don't have any hobbies and I have severe social anxiety so volunteering is out of the question. What do I do?

[5150DirtDiva]

Personally, I would probably start training for a triathlon or something. Oh and I would read, take up gardening. Just depends on your interests.

I always enjoyed having my kids with me also. I think finding a hobby would be wonderful. Whatever sparks your interests would be best. My choices would be something academic to broaden the mind or a relaxing hobby to ease anxiety but we are all different in our abilities and interests. what interests you? Have you ever had a hobby which brought you joy? What did you enjoy before having children?

[99fairies]

Before I had kids I traveled. I think the biggest issue right now is when they aren't with me I cant make sure they are safe and well cared for. When they get new teachers at thr start of the year it's extra hard because I don't know them yet.

It's interesting that you are a socially anxious traveler. What did you enjoy about traveling? Might it be possible to take some short day trips? Explore and maybe photograph your destinations? You said you don't want to volunteer but as you state you get to know your kids teachers, perhaps you can ask if there is anything you could help with in their classes? It could ease your mind being involved. I'm just shooting out ideas.

It was always interesting to me how many moms I knew that were so happy and excited their kids were starting back to school.....for me it was always sad. I thoroughly enjoy any and all time I get with my children.......but I've also always had many hobbies and always learning something new. The past several years my mental health has sucked all the joy from hobbies and it's just been a horrible decline for me. Not everyone needs to have or enjoys hobbies but most do. What one person enjoys is boring or lame to another. Maybe write a list and brainstorm ideas. Good luck!

[99fairies]

Before my bipolar diagnosis I was very outgoing, I loved being with people and I was always busy with something. Now I hate leaving the house. It's like two different people. I miss the old me.

[99fairies]

I don't even take the kids to school or pick them up. My husband does it and tells me about their day and if they have good teachers ect.

Originally Posted by 99fairies

Before my bipolar diagnosis I was very outgoing, I loved being with people and I was always busy with something. Now I hate leaving the house. It's like two different people. I miss the old me.

Why such a change after diagnosis? Was it the stigma which made you feel uneasy around people? That must have been very hard to undergo such a change to your very core personality based on a diagnosis. (((Hugs)))

[99fairies]

It was the episode leading up to my diagnosis. It was horrific and shook me to the core. I question every move I make now, unable to really trust myself. I have PTSD from that 6 month long mania. The meds have changed me as well. I feel dulled and like I'm scared to feel uncomfortable. So I just don't venture outside my house unless I have a doc appointment.

[99fairies]

When I lost my shyt I was living in the same town I still live in. So I'm very nervous to run into the many people I partied with and saw me at my craziest. I've also gained 60 pounds since then and am ashamed at what I look like now. But on a happier point, my kids are doing great at school so I am very relieved about that.

[Sunflower123]

99fairies, you and I have so much in common down to the traveling, sometimes not leaving the house (I had agoraphobia for many years), the children going to school (my 18 year old daughter just moved 2 hours away to attend college .... I have a locator on her phone), and difference in your appearance bothering you. Just wanted you to know you're not alone. I'm taking the empty nest one day at a time and trying to rediscover myself. Partially successful. Sending big hugs.

[99fairies]

Thank you so much for your kind words Jennifer. It's nice to know I'm not alone.