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#1
Sep 11, 2017, 03:30 AM
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You know, I know bipolar is hard. I have suffered for a very long time. The ups the downs, the fantastic highs and oh, those crippling lows.
I just saw the movie "Eat, Pray, Love," and I was floored. That movie was the rave almost ten years ago, but I only got to see it now. It made me think, question myself. Should I have married my first love? Should I have worked it out with the man I lived with for 5 years? Should I have went to that psychiatrist and taken the pills he gave me? Should I have left my job? Could I have been a better daughter, a better girlfriend? Could I have had a better life? The answer is no. This is the moment I belong in. This moment right here. Typing at my desk at 3am on the morning in which so many lost their lives so many years ago. Yes today is 9/11 and being in NYC, I remember that faithful day. Where thousands of people went to their jobs, said goodbye to their families, their houses, their possessions, and never came back home. Did they do everything they sought out to do? Did you? Have you lived up to your full potential in this life? Do you kick yourself every day for a decision you have made, or something that you haven’t done today? I look at myself. I have been hiding behind bipolar for so %^%$&ing long. Have you? Have you been able to work but you told yourself you couldn't so you just honestly sit back and collected disability? I can be honest with everyone of you here right now, as long as I have had bipolar I haven't been completely honest with myself. I have been stable for a long time, and I am so scared of failing that I won't attempt to work full-time again. I tried once in 2012, but I failed terribly and it left me discouraged and beaten. I am 37 and I have my whole life ahead of me. I don't want to spend the rest of my life on disability and hide behind being bipolar anymore. I am going to scape every last ounce of courage I have to try again to work full-time because I am tired of living in a cage. A cage of my own making. Do you sometimes feel like you're just going to end up being a statistic?
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Tales of Love, Motivation, and An Interesting Journey - Please Subscribe to my Website on WordPress: Inspired Odyssey's Path to Wellness and Love |
 99fairies, Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, BipolaRNurse, Daonnachd, Shazerac, Sunflower123, UpDownAround, Wild Coyote, xRavenx
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 99fairies, BipolaRNurse, Shazerac, Wild Coyote, xRavenx
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#2
Sep 11, 2017, 06:02 AM
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Yes, sometimes I do. Congratulations and good luck with your plan. I wish you much success.
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| LadyShadow, Wild Coyote
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| LadyShadow
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#3
Sep 11, 2017, 06:12 AM
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Sometimes I worry. Right now I do ok, but I do worry about that happening down the road.
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| 99fairies, LadyShadow, Wild Coyote
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#4
Sep 11, 2017, 02:25 PM
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 Thank you for sharing your feelings with such honesty.  It sounds like you are ready to make some changes in your like. congratulations
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 Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day! "Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth.” Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 - Seroquel 100 Celexa 20 mg Xanax .5 mg prn Modafanil 100 mg 
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| LadyShadow, Wild Coyote
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| LadyShadow
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