[ComfortablyNumb5]

I'm freaking out. Ok (breathe. Effing breathe...). First off, I'm very expressive in my words or actions on FB. I post music based on how I feel. I have no children so I post my pets. If I have an issue with politics, I won't go out of my way but I will agree or disagree with others. I really don't have much to post about other than that. On the other hand, all my friends are having kids and getting married. I'm taking my time getting there because I know I HAVE to put my MI first or else I'm no good to anyone. Well tonight I was wondering about a friend I haven't seen on there In awhile. So I looked her up... she unfriended me after she got married and had a kid. And then another... after she got married and had a kid. Is my independent and somewhat outspoken views that offensive?! I'm sitting here wanting to cry. Why do I care so much?! I've had severely low self esteem since childhood abuse and this just hits me like a buss. Is my BP impulsivity and honesty that bad? I feel like such an A hole right now. Sorry I should of mentioned that these people know about my situation so I can't help thinking that my BP is the issue. I've been stable for a year now but at this moment I want to break down. These people were friends I grew up with and I'm damaged goods. They can't relate to my anguish, my wit, my honesty. Am I that terrible that they have to unfriend me after friendships that go back to elementary school? ****!!!!

I'm sorry. I had to vent. I feel so misunderstood and alone in my immediate life.

Edit: I also have BPD... maybe it effects how outspoken and "emotional" I can be? Ahhhhhh

[bizi]

I am sorry you have hurt feelings over this. You could always send them a private message asking why they unfriended you? Maybe they don't like your politics. I don't know.
sorry it hurts to be disappointed.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Originally Posted by bizi

I am sorry you have hurt feelings over this. You could always send them a private message asking why they unfriended you? Maybe they don't like your politics. I don't know.
sorry it hurts to be disappointed.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

I'd be too scared of what they'd say. I'm a "people pleaser". I will travel around the world barefoot to avoid confrontation which isn't healthy. I put things aside and ride out my stress before I upset someone. It's a horrible way to live . Probably a good topic for my next T appointment. I'm seriously in tears right now.

[Guiness187055]

I 86'd Facebook a year ago. Best thing I have ever done

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Originally Posted by Guiness187055

I 86'd Facebook a year ago. Best thing I have ever done

You are so right. I've tried that but put of boredom I always went back

[bizi]

Originally Posted by RxQueen875

I'd be too scared of what they'd say. I'm a "people pleaser". I will travel around the world barefoot to avoid confrontation which isn't healthy. I put things aside and ride out my stress before I upset someone. It's a horrible way to live . Probably a good topic for my next T appointment. I'm seriously in tears right now.

yes this would be a good thing to talk about in therapy.
((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))
bizi

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Originally Posted by bizi

I am sorry you have hurt feelings over this. You could always send them a private message asking why they unfriended you? Maybe they don't like your politics. I don't know.
sorry it hurts to be disappointed.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

Ok I did send her a message and copied it so this is what I said...

Hey *****... I was just relaxing at home and being sentimental a bit. Smiling and giggling to myself about old highschool memories and all, and I thought about you and looked you up. Well I saw that you unfriended me. I'm not mad but I just want to understand why and what I may be doing or saying wrong to offend people. I just want to know for my own personal growth and what I can do to change it. I wish you the best and you have a beautiful family. Best of wishes!

Edit: I didn't call her a profane name lol. I typed out the stars myself to hide her name

[bizi]

I think this is a good letter.
Don't know what profanity word you called her. b****???
Is that what you have called her in the past?
just curious, maybe I am dating myself....I am old LOL
bizi

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Lol no I was just blocking out her name and typed the stars myself. Lmao that would be funny if I started the message like that 🤣. That just made me smile lmao. (((Hugs)))

[Victoria'smom]

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I'm very very careful what I post on FB. Even then I'm unfriended a lot. I lost a lot of friends when I had my son. My maid of honor I haven't talked to since my marriage. Just we lost touch and I can't find her. It has nothing to do with her statues when it comes to marriage and kids. It's more of closing a chapter. That said I don't unfriend anyone. A lot of people "clean up" their list and take people out that they don't think they'll want to see their "new" life. All you can do is friend request them again. Sorry you're so hurt.

[Daonnachd]

That's a really good letter. Like you, I'm a people pleaser. I understand where you're coming from. I would counsel you to be prepared for the possibility that she may not answer. Which would tell me that she feels bad about having done it.

I hoping for the best resolution.

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you're so hurt about being unfriended. I can imagine how that might feel. There was a poster on another forum on here who I don't know from Adam who was trying to justify very poor behavior towards his wife. I merely suggested a compromise (I try hard not to offend people) and he put me on the ignore list! That really stung and he isn't even my friend. I hope you feel better soon. Sending big hugs.

[*Laurie*]

I like Fb, but one thing I've learned about it is never to take it too seriously. If I think too much about what goes on on Fb I'll get very depressed and anxious. So I use it as entertainment.

[Shazerac]

I'm so sorry you are hurting right now. Facebook can be painful. I've had to unfriend my sister and my own daughter. They are untreated bipolar/alcoholic and they tend to put the most hateful posts on my page that would have me crying for weeks. I was unfriended by many people after the election. It hurt ... a lot.

As for your friends unfriending you. I am in no way implying that it was something you did that was bad. I think asking them why would be good for your self esteem. But be warned. they may not answer, or the answer could be painful. But whatever they say, it doesn't make it your truth. Sometimes people grow apart. Who knows why. Please don't dump a load on yourself for this.

[1978dd]

I agree with Miguel'smom. During life transitions, some feel a need to break some friendships. Maybe its fear that an "old friend" would expose past transgressions. FB is all about portraying a certain character. For some that's a goody-two-shoes image, others, a bad-boy/girl image. Some even have multiple FB accounts. I don't know what to think about them! Anyway, think of your true friends and what a blessing they are.

[TishaBuv]

It was probably just because of your political posts. Many people are so overwhelmed from everybody posting political rants on fb. I just scroll past those friends' posts. I posted one comment about the destruction of the old statues and people got into a war on my very benign post.

I think you wrote a nice note to your friend. I bet she'll say she's just overloaded with political stuff. But she may be afraid to even admit that, thinking you'll respond with more political opinions. So she might not tell the truth about that.

I don't even post much unless I have something funny to say or interesting. I don't get into politics. I'm often so tempted to say something obnoxious to friends' posts, but I have to stop myself.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

It was probably just because of your political posts. Many people are so overwhelmed from everybody posting political rants on fb. I just scroll past those friends' posts. I posted one comment about the destruction of the old statues and people got into a war on my very benign post.

I think you wrote a nice note to your friend. I bet she'll say she's just overloaded with political stuff. But she may be afraid to even admit that, thinking you'll respond with more political opinions. So she might not tell the truth about that.

I don't even post much unless I have something funny to say or interesting. I don't get into politics. I'm often so tempted to say something obnoxious to friends' posts, but I have to stop myself.

I promise you it was not political. I don't follow politics whatsoever. I post funny stuff. Memes and stuff. That is my time of day to smile at all the jokes. And another thing is I love fb more for the crazy articles I come across. I pay more attention to those than anything.

Facebook blows. Spend your time on PC instead.

[winter loneliness]

I have friends of different political persuasions. After the election, I unfriended a few and some I stopped following.

I cull my friends every once in a while. I hate stuck up snobs or passive aggressive people.

I am not suggesting you are like these people.

Honestly, I had to stop using Facebook for all non-business related purposes.

I couldn't handle the emotional drama on it and I used to be so triggered when somebody unfriended or blocked me that I would be depressed and unable to get out of bed for 2-3 days over being unfriended by a random person. Not to mention, seeing happy couples posting pictures of themselves and their happy little lives is a trigger for me too because I am single and lonely half of the time.

Now, I use Facebook solely to promote my online web store. I might use it to keep in contact with a few people in the future but I cannot become active on it on a personal level anymore because it is too triggering for me.

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by RxQueen875

I promise you it was not political. I don't follow politics whatsoever. I post funny stuff. Memes and stuff. That is my time of day to smile at all the jokes. And another thing is I love fb more for the crazy articles I come across. I pay more attention to those than anything.

Sorry, you had brought up politics. That was the only obvious reason I could see, if it applied.

[Tryingtobehappy5]

Well you gave me a today, bi*** popped into my mind when I started reading the letter and it made me laugh once I kept reading and realized that couldn't be what it was since it was such a nice letter.

I hope you got a response, closure either way would probably feel good. I often feel like everyone hates me but I don't think I would have the courage to ask those questions. Tiny things bug me on fb like someone not liking my post or picture when I think they should have, not congratulating me for accomplishments(don't they know how impressed they should be?!?) I don't know if its a product of our mental illness or if its something most people go through though.

Anyways I think its awesome that you faced the issue, that takes a lot of strength!

[Wild Coyote]

My siblings, all in their 50's, argue over one another's facebook pages/comments. One sister definitely uses FB to jab at her siblings, nieces, nephews, etc.

I stay away. No FB for me,


WC

[bizi]

I witnessed a face book page for a business that was verbally abused. She was harassed on face book page on her gift shop account. I could not believe how mean they were to her.
Awful!
bizi

[ComfortablyNumb5]

That's why I don't join fb groups. You give your opinion and then you get reamed out by 86537 people. People really get nasty sometimes.