Cognitive decline and career change...

Just wondering if any of you have experienced cognitive decline to the point where you have to change jobs. This is happening to me now. I'm trying to find something a bit simpler that I can enjoy/tolerate for the next twenty years.

Also I was reading this article on cognitive decline in bipolar. It's quite good.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...polar-disorder

I'm not sure if it's the illness or the antipsychotics but I really can't go off the APs without relapsing. Generally I'm euthymic though so I don't think its a mood issue for me.

Mostly my memory and overall comprehension of new material is failing, better to learn something new before it fails entirely. I'm leaning away from science and toward IT help desk but even that is challenging.

Just wondering what your experiences have been...I don't think I'm alone in this....

Interesting blog post. I call this "brain bad" when it happens to me.

This last line scares me:

And even in the absence of dazzling research outcomes, there’s the old adage that tells us “we grow wiser as we grow older.” It’s true. The role of maturation across the lifespan provides us with more potential for growth and healthy adaptation than most would ever imagine

Im in my 40s and have totally gone backwards in mental growth and health. I peaked mid-30s and literally feel myself decaying both mentally and physically.

I know right...I was 36 when I got sick now I'm mentally a lot slower and bordering on metabolic syndrome.....I totally took care of myself my whole life.....

I had to google metabolic syndrome, and Im bordering too. Ive gained 50 pounds the last five months and Im starting to see the effects. Im glad my current depression has eased a bit and Im starting to attack it.

As for mental, I cant even read a book anymore which is scary as I was a book nerd most of my life.

Im just hoping all the lessons learned can be used when Im feeling better from our disease as have a really rough run this year.

I have been programming for over 35 years. Ever hear that old adage (meant as a compliment) "he has forgotten more than most people know" ? That is me. I feel like I am hanging on by a thread sometimes but it is because I hold a senior level position. I am supposed to be the guy who can come up with a solution when no one else can. There is a reasonable chance that my position won't be funded next year. If that happens, I might be looking one rung down from where I am now. I probably only have 5-6 years to go. My plan for decades has been 1/1/2023, which is a little over 5.

That must be really stressful, sounds like you have a good plan for exit though...

I'm kind of a mid-tier scientist but they won't hire you for easier positions once you have a PhD....it just doesn't happen and I can't be like oh well I can't think anymore so how about it?

I have one book halfway read that I bought last year in contrast to over 200 in my kindle that I read before getting sick.

It was a good read. Thanks for sharing that.

That was some article. I recognized so much of myself in it and kept going "yep, yep, yep" as I read. I am cognitively disabled to the point where I lost my last job (over 3 years ago) because I could NOT learn the computer program. No matter how hard I try, I can't memorize much of anything, nor can I focus on reading for longer than a few minutes. It is supremely frustrating because I used to have such a good mind, and now I can't even work because I'd have to be able to learn new things. Ugh.

It used to be the kind of stress I enjoyed because I was the guy who could be counted on to come up with a solution to really hard problems. I still am no slouch, but the biggest thing I notice is that I can't keep track of as many data points in my mind as I could before. If I have to jot things down it makes me think with words and work my way slowly to those "Aha" answers that came very quickly before. It's hard to explain, but I can think through logic without words if I have all the data in my head. I used to be able to do that thought process with more complex logic than I can now. There is a small chance that my current job gets funded and actually becomes less demanding. That would be the best plan...

EDIT - I thought of a way to explain thinking without words. Quarterbacks do it all the time. Going through their reads, sensing pressure and scrambling, dumping a pass off to a back after a pump fake to keep it from being batted down. They don't think through those decisions with words.

I'm so sorry you're experiencing this too

I identify with this article very much. I have only within the last month started medical treatment/become diagnostically aware that my mood/symptoms describe BP type II.

I was always the 'whiz kid' when I was younger and through my late 30s or so I had an incredible capacity for knowledge, memory and recall (I'm going on 42 now). I've sadly come to realize that within the past few years I have more difficulty with executive functioning (never been great at that stuff anyway), reading comprehension/recall and following verbal instructions (sometimes written ones as well). Used to read voraciously, now I have no interest mood-wise and also because it has become harder/less relaxing to make progress and hold on to what I've read.

I attributed it for a while to daily marijuana use starting in my mid 30s and so did my wife, who has noticed some memory loss herself. But there hasn't been any real improvement since I stopped smoking 5 weeks ago. I read in the article that those who have managed this illness medically over the course of their lives have less degradation of these abilities. Those who haven't tend to have less favorable outlook both cognitively and mentally. My personal cognitive decline scares me because I most certainly have not managed my disease at all, in fact was unaware/refusing to consistency see a doctor about my physical and mental health for a couple decades.

When I mention it to my providers they are more apt to say this is ADHD, and I like the comfort of their conclusion. But I think I know deep down that while I might have had untreated ADHD (poor executive function, primarily) for years, the cognitive stuff is related to my mental illness because it is much more recent. This thought troubles me very much because I have three dependents and I don't have the option of seeking less-challenging employment.

I can totally empathize with the new data points thing...if I have 20 new concepts in a paragraph (think protein names) I'm just trying to pick it apart and never get the main concept but luckily if someone writes a review that states things more simply or explains it to me verbally I'm still OK. That's why I think I can still learn a new career but I'm picking something a little simpler although there is still more memorization than I would have thought.

I hope your job gets funded

I actually wonder whether the meds can induce ADHD in people who never had it before....I used to be incredibly patient and could read for hours but now its like oh look something else to do that's more fun (ie lets refresh PC, haha). Supposedly its only a percentage of people who experience cognitive decline and in my case psychosis can itself cause a pretty good hit. I'm sorry that you don't have the option of seeking less challenging employment, it must be tough to have that kind of pressure but I'm sure the kids are worth it

I hear you on the last bit. I have been at my current job so long that I am way over market rate. So I am hanging on until it is no longer funded or I am fired for incompetence. They are sunsetting all the apps done by my group and everyone will be let go, but there will be one or two people for support and maintenance until 2020 or maybe 2021. I have the most knowledge (or at least I should) and can work on any of the applications but I am the most expensive resource. Not sure which way they will go. I think 50/50 the end of this year and if I am not let go then I will probably be around until the end.

I am not sure about the ADHD component of my dx. I have straterra in the mix because I abused adderall (no more stimulants for me) and it does help. Prior to this year, my meds were ADs and stimulants because I denied the BP dx and engineered a MDD and ADHD dx instead. I did also take some hypnotics because of insomnia (hypermanic episodes in hindsight). I liked the stimulants; they helped lift me out of the low grade funk that was my "center".