[BatsBelfry]

Anyone just want to take their life back? I want to. think I want to cancel PDoc and therapist. Stop this medication. Just stop being all these "diagnosis" and just not be them anymore. I think I am just made oddly and that is all. I'm not really BP2, I'm a screw up. I'm a loser. For every 1%-er there is a bottom of the barrel-er and that is me.

So, anyone ever just say no to all this and stop?

[CloserToTheMid]

I get it. Yes! Become my wild self again. When I was bursting with creativity and ideas. Partying all the time. Oy. Not gonna happen. Too much to lose.

I do really sympathize.

[BatsBelfry]

No need to sympathize. I just will not be this. i was a person off the meds and I can be one on them. I just don't know how different I really am. I think I can just be out of the MI club.

Yeah, I've done that several times and if I wasn't so afraid of delusions I'd stop meds again because I think I'm just getting sicker. My family says I'm making progress which seems a joke to me. I keep telling people "I'm getting better, I will get better I promise" but it never happens and I think I'm just stringing them along so they don't leave me. I was assassinated years ago but my body has been too stupid to give up the ghost. Maybe you aren't a loser and are just depressed? I don't know you so I cannot say. People on here struggle so bad and then show up to work......they are in as much pain as me and possibly more but hobble on crutches to accomplish.....I just sit around complaining and waiting to die. I'm a loser for sure but not for no reason. Reasons don't matter though, action does. I hope you find a solution to your problem. I hope you work through it and find a way to not be a loser if you are one. Good luck.

[~Christina]

I understand how your feeling... been there many times.

I think maybe instead of quitting everything ... Do a total review of your current treatment plan. Maybe the meds are not right or your Pdoc doesnt listen and your T useless.

If you do plan to ditch your meds becareful and get advice on how to taper,, Many meds are pure hell to get off of.

Stay safe and I hope your feeling better soon.

Welcome to PC

[Slightlydelusional]

Originally Posted by BatsBelfry

No need to sympathize. I just will not be this. i was a person off the meds and I can be one on them. I just don't know how different I really am. I think I can just be out of the MI club.

Hi Bats, I have a laundry basket full like u and from Chicago.

Good luck with whatever u do, I thought I was bottom of the barrel too, but funny how time and a new day can come along and feel much better.

[CaminoDeOro]

I would back up what's been said about a full review of your tx plan, more than just meds if possible.

I've been through that whole round of thinking more than once but for me, my function is so badly impacted that I don't have a choice to avoid the meds until I've been stable long enough to have my life to where I can try. Low medication is a long term goal of mine but realistically I have to get to the point where it's at all likely to succeed. And my life is nowhere near that.

So for me we are systematically trying different meds one at a time now. And I'm doing a TON of reading of the latest research on bipolar, meds, etc.

One thing that stands out to me over and over is that when cycling happens, it changes the brain to make future cycling more likely, and meds less likely to work.

Think very very carefully when it comes to stopping meds. Or in my case, tweaking them to induce a hypomanic state because it's better than being unable to get out of bed. In the short term, absolutely yes. In the long term, definitely not.

[Laurie60]

I can't count how many times I have thought the very same thing and decide to get off my meds, every time it's the same thing, I go without for a few days and turn into an absolute bipolar bear! I then go back on my meds and wonder to myself why I would ever try such a silly thing again.
I'm not saying this will be you I just wanted to share my story and evidently won't be joining the un-medicated society just yet.
I wish you well and will say a little prayer for you. Take care.