Why do we fight our diagnoses?

I understand not wanting to be labeled but we know SOMETHING'S out of whack...but we deny what they tell us and argue with them...and worry about taking the treatment. We want others to accept us as we are but we refuse to accept ourselves? Are we putting a stigma on our own selves? Why?

Hmm, I don't fight my diagnosis. My guess is that people do so because they're afraid.

I don’t want anything to be wrong with me. I’m afraid of getting worse and being unable to take care of me, my adult daughter (still in college), my cat, etc.

I’ve accepted the dx, now I’m anxious because I have no one but me to count on, and I’m not quite right.

because no one in my family has it

(bad logic, I know... but when my mood goes wonky, that is what happens)

Question everything.

I fight it because it sucks most of the time I accept it, but there are days when I wish it would just go the hell away!

I accept it , same as I accept my Fibro and Psoriatic Arthritis ... My denial will not help me at all.

I am about " I have X problem" How do I attack it and find the best way to help myself.

I am currently dealing with situational angry mania.. Im working on dealing with that mess.. I refuse to give up..

I don't fight my diagnoses. I fight to survive the conditions behind the diagnoses.


WC

I guess I fight to preserve my diagnosis from people who don't understand it...but I also know that there are many who are in denial and are sicker for it. *Oh, no, not me, these docs don't know what they're talking about!* It comes up in group constantly.

I think it was harder to accept for me since I was being evaluated by a total stranger who didn't know me and tried to take things about me and my life to fit a diagnosis rather than being part of who I was. And the fact that at least at the beginning there were definite triggers that set it off were ignored.
And there were certain symptoms like hypersexuality that I didn't have at all.

I fight it because I don't want to be sick. I've seen so many family members ruin their lives, careers, and marriages because of bipolar disorder. I hate how it affects my life. I spent a lot of time trying to find alternate explanations for my issues. I'm getting to the point where it's clear I have it, but I sure as hell don't like it.

I am the poster child for denial. I was diagnosed BP 23 years ago and took the meds until I felt better and then stopped. When I spiraled into depression, I went to another pdoc and answered the questions creatively and got a dx of depression with ADHD; two socially acceptable conditions. I was scared of saying bipolar to friends/family and terrified of it getting back to my employer. So I would get SSRIs and stimulants and get hypomanic (what a shock, right?). I could manage that much better than depression as far as work and home/family was concerned but I annoyed people. I would decide I was over the depression and that the meds were making me edgy and stop taking them. Before long I would spiral into depression again and start the cycle over. I don't know how many time I did this over the last 20 years.

Then not long ago my son started showing signs and my wife told his pdoc about my old diagnosis. I went with him one time and his pdoc kind of put me on the spot. After that I faced it and went to my current pdoc and got diagnosed again. BP 2, just like before. But this time I am not fighting it. I am getting better care and feel like an idiot for putting it off so long.

I accept my diagnosis. I try to hide it from everyone else though. They are not so accepting. And nobody wants to hear about it. If my family actually saw what I'm like, they'd just get angry at me for being sick.

Because it feels like this scarlet letter that has been thrust upon you. It's hard to accept. Plus the very act of diagnosing in psychiatry is subjective, where people get assigned some DSM code that can differ depending on the dr. Is it MDD or BP 2 or something else? And just bc two people have some symptoms in common they all get lumped into this one dx even tho all may need different treatments. It's all we have right now but compared to physical medicine tests it's pretty crappy science.

So on top of fighting the dx actually being a symptom of this beast, there is often also some real question of its validity. Especially when we have been dx with different letters by different docs for the same symptoms. Personally I think the whole diagnosis and labeling of mental disorders is a lot of bullshat. That doesn't mean the suffering isn't real or doesn't need to be treated, but putting people in neat little boxes with fancy labels and codes for insurance does not seem to be working all that great for a lot of people and has lead to misdiagnosis and being wrongly or under or over medicated.

I personally have no idea if all my mood problems are due to physical medication side effects, but since I can't stop those I suppose it doesn't really matter. Or maybe it still does. Idk. If getting a certain label means getting the right treatmeny than yah for the diagnosis label. But even with the correct dx, pdoc s are just often just throwing stuff at the wall to see what sticks- its not very sceinctific.

I think some fighting of our diagnosis, at least in the beginning, is actually one of the most sane reactions somebody can have. Who the hell wants this? I sure don't.

I may take meds and go to therapy but I still don't totally believe it or embrace it and some pArt of me will probably always fight it. And imo That tiny bit of doubt has saved me as much as it has hurt me. Maybe I am totally full of crap but questioning is not always a bad thing. Refusing certain medications isn't always being noncompliant. There is some sanity and self preservation in not being okay with a diagnosis whose very existence will forever affect us.
So why do we fight it? Because we are human and don't want to be different or broken. I think it is just part of the journey of living w BP.

This. ^^

no-one in my family has it either that we know of. I had an uncle that was my Dad's half brother that supposedly had it.

At first when I was diagnosed I had to research it and still questioned it. After some time on treatment I asked my pdoc if she was sure I was BP cause I didn't have all the symptoms. For a long time my mania was severe irritation especially when I was prescribed an anti-depressant. She replied, " Would the meds work if you were not?" So that is kinda what sunk it in for me. I have had many med changes since then but I also had a wild manic attack after that too which really paved the way. I guess the another reason I did not want to accept the diagnosis is because the stigma that goes with it.