[wildflowerchild25]

Went to the dr again today. The stomach pain I was having last year is back full force. Last year I was diagnosed with an ulcer. I think it’s back. Same pain. Same spot. So I have to do blood work again, get an ultrasound again, and see a gastroenterologist. I also have to add Prilosec to my meds, twice a day. She didn’t prescribe any, which I should have asked her to because that **** is super expensive OTC. The pain is not constant but when it’s there it’s bad. Coughing aggravates it. And of course I’m still coughing and vomiting on the regular. Cough is sort of a little bit better. Not as violent or frequent but still there. Been seven weeks. I just finished my antibiotic on Sunday so hopefully the pneumonia is gone and it’s just the residual cough now.

I’m sooooooo tired all the time. I can’t keep up with cleaning right now. The house is horrible. It’s upsetting me. I did dishes today finally. Gotta clean the litter box but I just want to sleep.

I have so much grad school work to do. I’ve done nothing on my project that’s due Monday. I have a full weekend so I won’t have time to work on it. So I need to be mostly done by Friday. Then I have two major projects due the following week, plus a couple of little busywork projects. Then I also have to study math every night so I can learn how to teach it. But I’m so ****ing tired.

At my supervisor’s behest, I joined the drama club at school. The advisor is really nice but damn that’s just one more thing. I really want to do it because I think it will be fun and my supervisor will be happy with me. But I have to find care for my son which is damn near impossible to do. It’s only for the last week in October when they’re doing haunted halls but still.

Sigh. I think my physical health is the main thing getting me down right now. I’ve always been physically healthy. I don’t know how to handle not being healthy. I’ve been intensely sick before, but with like the flu that goes away in a couple of days. I’ve never been so sick for so long. Which I’m obviously very grateful for. I’m hoping the Prilosec helps with the pain because the gastro can’t see me till January 5. I don’t want to be in this much pain for another three months.

Alright I think I’ve made this post long enough. Thanks for listening to me complain. I’m hoping writing about it will help diffuse the stress.

[99fairies]

Sounds miserable. So sorry you are going through all this. Big hugs.

[Shazerac]

It sounds like you are taking on a bit too much to me. You can only stretch yourself so far before you snap.

[wildflowerchild25]

You’re right, I’m overwhelmed. But it’s all stuff I have to do. The drama club is optional but not really, not the way my supervisor was talking. He wants to see me put myself out there more and it could mean my job at the end of the year.

I just have to ramp up my self care a little bit. Unfortunately my favorite thing to do is lay on the couch wrapped in a blanket. That’s not so good.

[Travelinglady]

((((wildflowerchild25))) Yes, take care of yourself, dear one.

[liveforsummer]

Hugs wildflowerchild

[HALLIEBETH87]

Definitely get her to prescribe it for you. I get the generic script for cheap compared to OTC.

[Jensitive22]

About the drama club your supervisor is pushing on you... all I can say is it's time to ask for accommodations. As a former sped/co-teacher I know how full your plate is and adding grad school and raising a child on your own, something will snap. Get a note from your doctor and present your principal and department head with some reasonable and necessary accommodations.

Ramp down what you can. Who cares if the place is messy?

Take care of yourself

[wildflowerchild25]

Thanks everyone. I’m feeling mildly depressed, probably from everything going on. I’m not sure about asking for accommodations....I’m just not comfortable with anyone knowing at all. And I’m stubborn. I don’t like to admit when I need help.

I guess I’m not going to worry so much about the house being so messy. It just bothers me because it makes me feel like a failure.

Tomorrow my son has to get some dental work done so I am not going to work. I’m going to bring my laptop to the dentist office and work on my project while he’s back there. I wish I could take a personal day for myself, while my son is in school so I can just have a whole day to myself. But I don’t want to take too much time off. I have to take tomorrow and the 27th for my son’s appointments. Maybe I can get my sister in law to take him for a few hours on A Saturday or something.