[TaubTaube]

I am just really frustrated with this. I am kind of annoyed that I was misdiagnosed for so long and the problems that caused. Yeah I know "at least you have the right one now." Doesn't make it any less annoying.

Now all I do is cry. I cut for the first time because I was so angry with myself for the stupid **** I did on a bad manic state.

I am afraid my husband will lose his patience with me and drop me. I am already annoying because I'm mostly Deaf and he's hearing.

I am just so frustrated with myself that I feel rage toward myself. I hate myself so much for having this damned disease.

I try so hard not to allow it to affect other people. I try so hard to keep it all together and keep it all inside so that I won't burden others.

[scatterbrained04]

Sending hugs...having a mental illness is just downright frustrating at times. I am sorry you are struggling right now.

Yeah, it is frustrating when you don't get the proper diagnosis. I was (well, still am) upset that I didn't get the help I needed when I was 14. My new/current therapist thinks that's when bipolar started. And well, I went undiagnosed until I was 24 (because that's when I saved up enough of my own money to get help). That was 10 years of pure hell.

Have you tried DBT? DBT offers healthy coping mechanisms to deal with these thoughts/behaviors that you're describing.

[Shazerac]

I hear you I went almost 50 years without a diagnosis. I often wonder how my life may have been different.

I'm sorry you are hating yourself right now. but this isn't your fault or any kind of weakness on your part. You have a chronic illness no different than diabetes or arthritis. This doesn't make you a bad person.