[Tryingtobehappy5]

I'm out of IP already. I went in with a bad attitude and the pdoc obviously didnt like that. First day he took away my wellbutrin(even though I begged to keep it or even a little bit of it) and the risperidone and offered me a new AP. I refused and the next day he told me its all behavioral and they cant help me. Then my husband told me that I have to become stable or I can't live at home anymore. So I changed my attitude and asked pdoc today what he thought I needed to take/do and he said its all personality and there is no meds needed except the depakote and he sent me home. He said my disorder is in remission! He wouldnt explain why he took away my wellbutrin if it was all behavioral. When I asked why I wasnt like this previously he said somewhere along the line my need for attention increased. Im so hurt, confused and afraid. I really hope I can do this, I dont want to lose my family.

[wildflowerchild25]

Your IP pdoc sounds like an ***!!! I’ve had doctors accuse me of just wanting attention before. It’s very hurtful. When do you see your regular pdoc again? If he/she offers a new AP, will you take it? I hope you can get some better help!!!

[Tryingtobehappy5]

I dont see my pdoc until end of November. I would take anything at this point. I think maybe the pdoc was mad about my lying and going off meds but everyone makes mistakes. I still feel like I deserved the treatment I needed. The only good thing about going is that I didn't end up dead and the suicidal thoughts are not as strong now as when I went. I hope I can just control myself but I feel so out of control and I dont feel like myself at all. Maybe without the wellbutrin I will be ok, I loved it but I also realize it was causing me to be manic and maybe hypo at a lower dose too. If it's really all personality then I'm screwed. I do have the option to go back to a nice voluntary IP place if things arent good and a bed opens up. My husband wanted to take me there today but it is full and I really want to be home for a while after that nasty experience.

[raspberrytorte]

What the hell was up with your IP doctor? What a ****. I'm sorry you had to deal with that.

I was just recently inpatient after an OD, and on the second day I called my husband and he told me I wasn't welcome at home anymore because I was so unstable. Luckily he changed his mind, but now I really have to become stable!

Anyway, hugs to you. I hope you feel better soon.

[Tryingtobehappy5]

I'm glad this pdoc sounds like an ***** to everyone else too and I'm not just being overreactive or something. We are definitely in the same boat, I have to become stable somehow. I understand he only wants whats best for the kids and wants me to really try my absolute best to get stable but it's scary. Hugs to you too

[Victoria'smom]

Can you go to a different hospital? Is there an intensive out patient program or partial hospitalization program near you? Sounds like you got labeled BPD and sent home.

[Tryingtobehappy5]

No IOP or PHP here. This is the same pdoc who threw a bipolar label on my discharge less than 2 weeks ago, I was expecting to see borderline this time but he didnt bother writing any diagnosis! My bipolar is just in remission now according to him hahaha. I have no clue whats going on. If things stay bad I can go to a better IP place but it's even further away and all the travel is getting hard. Since I really want to be stable I guess I will agree to it if husband says he thinks I need to.

I can’t take Wellbutrin either because of the risk of mania. I get manic from drugs that don’t typically cause mania, so I’m just hair-trigger manic type I guess.

I hope things get better

I just can’t imagine what it would feel like to be told I might not be able go home. I am really so sorry you have that burden

[Tryingtobehappy5]

I have had such bad reactions to all 3 of the antidepressants I have been on, all different "types" I'm afraid of what will happen if depression hits again. And ya being told I cant stay if this continues when I was a perfectly good mother (although very depressed most of the time) for almost 10 years is the most painful thing ever. This year has torn me apart and yet they all wonder why I feel like I'm in a nightmare. I am thankful for all of the caring people here, its keeping me somewhat sane!

My pdoc won’t even give me any kind of antidepressant, period, and neither would my previous three psychiatrists. That’s four saying no way. I have given up the idea of getting an antidepressant. Even though depression and anxiety is my typical state.

My current pdoc says if she can stop the mania, I hopefully won’t crash down into depression. I decided on lithium because a psychiatrist that was too busy to treat me said it’s the gold standard, best treatment. I’m trying it, even though I have to do these blood draws. I picked the drug this time. I’m afraid if I don’t get control, I could get fired.

I need my job. I worked soooo many years to make it to my level.

So I take the drug, every day.

Hoping for no more mania.

Hoping for no more depression and anxiety.

I hope your meds work for you.

You need your family.

Take them religiously. Take the pills on schedule like clockwork.

And more hugs for you

[Tryingtobehappy5]

Thank you so much for all the hugs! I have a feeling I'm pretty damn close to the no antidepressants allowed phase even though, like you, I have spent soooo much time depressed. Im happy to take the med I am on so compliance shouldnt be an issue for now I just hope its finally the right drug for me. I hope you have found what you need as well. Stability is such a horrible thing to be missing, so many things are ruined without it

You are welcome!

It has taken me years to get to this point. I disrupted my work place, and previous workplaces. I just don’t want to do that anymore. I am hoping this lithium works (crossing fingers).

I really hope your Depakote works for you! A very good psychiatrist tried to get me to take it. I think it is a very good drug; I was just ignorant and resisting treatment. I will be asking for Depakote if this lithium doesn’t work out

You do have a very good drug; I am confident about this