[Englishandproud1986]

For many years (I am thirty) I have been to see various doctors, and they have diagnosed me with depression and anxiety. I've always felt deep down that there is way more too it than that, as I don't think my behaviour is what you would describe as normal.
Ever since I was a child I would worry about things, mostly trivial things like falling asleep. From the second I would wake up I would be panicking that I wouldn't be able to sleep when I would go to bed that night. I would feel panicky about being out in the dark too. This was from a very young age.
I know at some point I used to be an outgoing fun person. But I get the worst mood swings. One day I'm up and I can conquer the world with the schemes I come up with. The next I am so low and sad it's hard to even move.
Im so up and down it's unreal. If I have a down day I think to myself that I can always kill myself if I feel that way tomorrow.
Most of the time I just absolutely hate myself. I need constant praise. If someone offends me it absolutely devastates me.
I'm socially awkward and I prefer to be alone as friendship has never really happened for me.
I am jealous and I absolutely rage at the smallest things. Especially in my relationship.
I need a lot of sleep and if I don't get it I am impossible to be around.
If someone says something that I don't like, I will kick off and run away.
When I was younger my family used to laugh at the schemes j would come up with to make money and that I would never stick to anything. As they would say everything was a flash in the pan. But now at thirty, it's not so funny to them.
My mum said to me that she thinks I'm bipolar. And it made me think. After researching it I think I am. I can't keep feeling so up and down, it's exhausting me mentally and physically.
Does my behaviour sound bipolar???

[Sunflower123]

It sounds like you need to be evaluated by a qualified professional who can provide you some answers and some relief. I’m sorry you’ve been struggling with this so long. I hope you get it resolved. Sending big hugs.

[north-polar-coaster]

Like you, I have a strong suspicion that I have bipolar as well. Your experiences sound pretty familiar to mine, with some slight differences. I have my pdoc appointment in about a week to discuss my own concerns. Have you made an appointment yet with a pdoc to get evaluated? Hang in there man, we're all on this bipolarcoaster together.

[BillSamuels2]

I think so. Some people don't get "manic" in the way that you think of from stereotypes on television. Some people are just really irritated, and this is how their hypomania manifests more often. I am like this. People think I have a lot of energy, and I'm not generally unpleasant to be around, but they don't see how privately I have a lot of anxiety, which is actually irritability and sometimes anger.