[bewise93]

I was prescribed valium 4 months ago, then taken off, then 2 weeks ago put back on it, took it for 6 days, then now taking it PRN. My pdoc called in 10mg 2x day. He says he wants me to take it that much for depersonalization. I just don't know what to do. I could pick it up and take it like that, but it seems to worsen my depression. Or else I could take in PRN, but then it doesn't work as well for anhedonia/depersonalization. I know I am kind of out of it right now, but I feel like that's BECAUSE of benzo withdrawal 3 or 4 months ago. The pdoc said gabapentin and buspar are weak chemicals and don't really work. I was reading on a psychiatric news website that some people take benzos for depersonalization/anhedonia/dissociation for 3-6 weeks, then taper off, and then they are better. I don't know what to do. It feels like depression in a pill. But it does help me keep my apartment clean and do things I need to do. It also lets me go on a nice walk in the woods with my dog and feel at peace. It also lets me drink tons of monster energy drinks all day and not get panicky. Tough choice here. Need some help.

[phractle]

I'm no professional so I can't tell you how to go about taking medication.

What I can offer is my experience with medication. It sucks as I don't want to become dependent on my medication, but I've learned that I behave and perform more appropriately than when I've been off of them.

It was difficult for me to even register that my medication was taking affect so I keep updating with my family on a daily basis as to how they perceive my differences in my behavior and mentality. My mentality has always been to listen to my family's and therapists without bias which has lead me to see the differences in my own behavior. The struggle is determining whether its possible to function "normally" without them, which I have yet been be able to determine the possibility to do so as I have tried and failed.

I heard benzos are really tricky to be on, and then to ween off them but it's a slippery slope as you can become addicted to them without noticing first hand. I'd say to keep in touch with your doctors and your close ones and get their feedback as well. I know of some people on xanax and its definitely a struggle for them.

Again, take my reply with a grain of salt, I don't know how your body or mind reacts to prescription medication, but don't be too concerned with dependency if you trust your psychiatrist and followup with them regularly.

Thanks for sharing. I hope all the best to you!

[99fairies]

I don't know what to say. That is a tough decision to make. If you go back on it for awhile could you slowly wean yourself off instead of going cold turkey like last time? Taking benzos for too long makes me depressed as well. I only use them PRN. Hope you can come up with a good solution. Best wishes.

I guess my question is how often do you have depersonalization? And when you do, is there a possible or clear trigger for it that you might know about? I ask this, because I have had issues with both depersonalization and derealization in the past, and I managed to figure out the triggers. Knowing them I could work closely with my therapist in coming up with and using grounding tools. For me, grounding tools were the key to me ridding myself of dissociative symptoms.

I take a small dose of Klonopin and a somewhat small dose of Ativan. I'm on Klonopin probably only because my pdoc thinks I'll have severe withdrawals if we try to take me off. Ativan used to be a prn, but then 3 years ago my pdoc told me to use it for akathisia. It's become a daily med, so soon I'll have the challenge of weaning off of that back to prn. I'm not looking forward to it.

[bewise93]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

I guess my question is how often do you have depersonalization? And when you do, is there a possible or clear trigger for it that you might know about? I ask this, because I have had issues with both depersonalization and derealization in the past, and I managed to figure out the triggers. Knowing them I could work closely with my therapist in coming up with and using grounding tools. For me, grounding tools were the key to me ridding myself of dissociative symptoms.

I take a small dose of Klonopin and a somewhat small dose of Ativan. I'm on Klonopin probably only because my pdoc thinks I'll have severe withdrawals if we try to take me off. Ativan used to be a prn, but then 3 years ago my pdoc told me to use it for akathisia. It's become a daily med, so soon I'll have the challenge of weaning off of that back to prn. I'm not looking forward to it.

There are triggers, but they are unavoidable, like going outside with my dog and talking to neighbors, going in to a store, etc.

My triggers were unavoidable, too, but I could prepare in advance for the occasions when they might happen.

There are grounding techniques described many places on the internet. I described some that helped me at https://birdflight.blog/2017/03/06/d...-prevent-them/

I don't expect you to visit the above. Only if you're interested. The "Prepare for a stressful event in advance" is particularly helpful for me. Even if you don't know when you'll run into a neighbor, rehearse what you'll do or say if/when you do see them. It can often just come out naturally during that moment of shock. Include things like squeezing your arm, looking at a tree, stuff like that.

[~Christina]

Use as a PRN for now.