[Victoria'smom]

It’s me, I’m the broken one. I couldn’t get my words out. I even brought my husband. It was a horrible mess. I have to wait 3 months to try to get my words out. He gave me ambien prn. I’m okay now, a week and a half ago I was a mess and was minutes away from ending it all. If not for my son being near the kitchen I would have. I didn’t want that to be the last memory of me. Why do I have such a bad time talking to people? Hell I need therapy to learn how to talk to people, like my treatment team. I’m so worried they’re trying to trick me into the hospital I freeze. I couldn’t even tell him about last week. I know I need my meds changed but can’t verbalize it. I’m worried that my silence will be the death of me. On top of that My sister’s mixed and unmedicated. She’s doing things that she’d look down on others and recently took up cutting again. I’m watching her drowned and can’t do a thing to help.

[Sunflower123]

Can you write out what you want to say and hand it to your treatment team? I’m glad you overcame the other day for your son. That’s really good. I’m sorry your sister is having a tough time. It’s really hard to watch our loved ones struggle. Thinking of you.

[99fairies]

I agree with what Jennifer said. When I started to feel very unstable (before my diagnosis) I could barely speak. I wrote out my issues on a piece of paper and handed it to my GP. He read it and set up an appointment with a PDOC. Maybe you could try something similar. Best wishes and big hugs. It will get better.

[Victoria'smom]

My husband was upset I didn’t warn him that I was suicidal. I know better than to keep that from him. He said he’d be more worried if I did succeed. He said pdoc was distracted and through him for a loop too. It’s hard to put things on paper because then it’s real but I’ll have to do something. I no longer have the luxury of screwing up for 6 hours in between appointments to get the whole picture. I was to embarrassed to tell him about the psychosis and it wasn’t in my notes because I didn’t tell T either. I wish I didn’t have to talk to get my meds

[Wild Coyote]

Yes, talking about our symptoms can be very distressing. I try to trust my pdoc will understand and I am sure he's heard it all and much more.

You do come across very well when you write here. Maybe writing is a good method for assisting in communication with your pdoc and/or T?


WC

[~Christina]

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