I have a serious blog that I generally write in almost every day of the week, except for occasional weekend days. Since March 2016, I have written almost 200 posts, most of which are articles, narrative poems, reflections, short stories, or occasional photo challenge submissions. I don’t journal there. But I have noticed a major writer’s block these last two weeks. Actually, I fully wrote two posts, and partially wrote about four others, but none of them suited me in the end, so I didn’t post them.

I know that a lot of people with bipolar disorder sometimes complain about feeling “dull”. Well, I don’t exactly feel like that, but I am definitely not as inspired as I’d like. But my mind is not devoid of thoughts. I wouldn’t say they are racing, but there is stuff going on up there. Perhaps not the greatest stuff.

I don’t exactly feel hypersexual, but I do have a yearning to be wanted and admired. My husband very much loves and admires me, but I feel like I’m greedy and want even more.

I have been flirting with this guy I know from the past. He, too, has bipolar 1 disorder. He’s a divorcee (unlike me), and a very sweet guy. Lately I’ve had some daydreams about him, and to satisfy them I often go to see him at the grocery store, where he works. It’s almost like I’d like to seduce him. He flirts with me, too, which makes it all the more tempting.

My husband will be away from home for more than a week in the near future. I told this guy at the store that after he asked how my husband was. But I don’t think he asked how my husband was in a genuinely friendly way.

Who am I kidding here. This guy at the store is religious, and probably would never get involved with a married woman. I, on the other hand, could potentially have fewer scruples.

I just FINALLY went off Geodon after more than one year of being slowly weaned off. Is it possible that being off Geodon is causing this? I have also been overheating to an extreme. Just walking in the grocery store gets me sweating. But I’m not having any of the other withdrawal symptoms I had in the past (headache, nausea, dizziness).

I can just sense that something is amiss with me, and yet on the outside I seem perfectly fine. Has anyone experienced anything like I’m describing above?

[CaminoDeOro]

If it were me, this could absolutely be ripples from a med change, especially if the med wasn't replaced with something. Beware manic/mixed states - watch like a hawk for more signs imo.

Hi CaminoDeOro. Thanks for responding. I'm leaning towards your guess that it is somehow related to me finally being off of Geodon. But I do have lots of medication still in place. 1400 mg Tegretol XR, 100 mg Lamictal, 600 mg Seroquel XR, and some small doses of benzos. I certainly hope my mood doesn't keep inching up and up. I don't want my Seroquel XR increased. My pdoc does let me take some regular Seroquel prn. I guess I'll make myself take it if I have the insight to know things are changing. My hubby usually notices it, too, but though I do occasionally talk about flirting with other men, I only do so casually.

[Northchild]

I stopped Geodon a couple of weeks ago and my internal thermostat has been going absolutely nuts.

Also, if you were male, you'd probably be getting high-fives from your buddies for thinking longingly of people of the opposite gender, whatever your marital status. We have a strange double standard thing here in the US.