[Charmed]

So 3 years ago I was diagnosed. I've been stable for 3 years, and everything has been great. In September my doctor decided to cut my meds in half. I have no idea why. A month later I'm manic and telling my boss I have a crush on him and sending him poetry online at 11pm. I think I've spent about 4000 on psychics and just made a fool out of myself with other people, and perhaps some enemies along the way. I lost the opportunity to convert from a contract role to perm because I couldn't speak during the interview, and I'm their best employee.

I didn't tell my doctor in the midst of the crisis because I didn't know I was in one. I guess I was in a mixed state though. It was awful. After I told him, he increased my meds and also tried to put me on lithium because at this point I was severely depressed - still am in that cycle.

This is the first time this has happened to me while I'm aware that I'm bipolar. I can look back on plenty of crazy manic things I've done through my life, but I've always been on antidepressants, so I've never dealt with the extreme depression I'm dealing with now. I stopped the lithium due to weight gain. I'm now taking Tamoxifen (just started today). If you all have any experience with it I'd love to hear. I take 200 x2 of Lamictal and 10 of Abilify daily.

How long does the depression last, and do you just come out of it, or do you need to take all of these extra meds when before I did not need them? I'm confused. I don't even want to take a shower, I can't even fathom getting up for work (luckily I can work from home a few days per week and go in at like 10), it takes everything I have to take my dog out. Luckily Amazon delivers groceries or I'd be eating pizza every day. I didn't get my mail for a month so it was sent back, etc. And Of course just keeping a happy face on the outside..sort of...

And I've depleted the supply of alcohol in the house and bought more. I just cry, and my anxiety is just off the charts (hence the psychics...crazy). I often think of shooting myself, but I would never do that so don't worry. I'm OK today...better, but this has been a hell of a ride. My family doesn't even know I'm bipolar. Just a couple of friends, and I don't want to burden them with all of this.I can't believe all I've done during this episode. I'm very hard on myself though.

[wildflowerchild25]

For me the depression is relatively short lived (max a couple of months) but it is so severe I cannot function. I need meds or ECT to bring me out of it.

I had to look up tamoxifen. It’s for breast cancer? Is it used off label for depression? I e never heard of it before.

I hope the new meds help you and that you get some relief soon!

[Daonnachd]

Tamoxifen may also be used to manage mania in patients with bipolar disorder. It also has an action of blocking the enzyme protein kinase C, which changes the neuron activity in the brain.
Current research suggests that this enzyme is overactive during manic episodes, hence it's relevant in the management of the condition.

Lamictal is a mood stabiliser. Abilify an antipsychotic. So nothing you're on specifically addresses depression, but everyone's experience is different, anyhow.

By the way, Charmed, welcome back. I hope you pull through this quickly.

Ugh!!! I’m so sorry this happened to you!! I have humiliated myself in two full on manic events and one hypomanic event. Three different employers.

The depression after a manic event is horrible for me. I seem to come out of it for the most part within the six weeks that I end up staying home from work. I hope you swing out faster.

I like lithium. I think it is helping me with depression and the unbearable anxiety. I haven’t been on it for long, so we wil see.

[Charmed]

Hi KT - Do you stop taking the Lithium once you feel better?

[Charmed]

Hi Vertigo,
I'm in a mixed state so maybe that is why he gave it to me. He did say it does help with depression. We'll see.

-Charmed

[Daonnachd]

Originally Posted by Charmed

Hi Vertigo,
I'm in a mixed state so maybe that is why he gave it to me. He did say it does help with depression. We'll see.

-Charmed

Good. Let's hope it's only a matter of a couple/few days.

[winter loneliness]

That is a large dose for Lamictal. Does it help?

[Charmed]

I have epilepsy too. It helps my epilepsy for sure.

[glennk]

Very few drugs out there for Bipolar Depression. Most of meds out there work best on mania. Have you ever tried Trileptal? It is an anti-seizure med that works on Bipolar as well. Super cheap too.

[Charmed]

I finally broke down and started on Lithium and increased my Abilify. Feeling much better

[Daonnachd]

Originally Posted by Charmed

I finally broke down and started on Lithium and increased my Abilify. Feeling much better

I'm glad you're feeling better.