Agoraphobia

I had a dream last night. In it I was explaining to my mother why I haven’t worked for three years. I told her that I think I have agoraphobia and that I have a need to be in a safe place or with a person I feel safe with when out of my safe zone. We talked about anxiety and the root of mine; I had to remind her that anxiety disorders run rampant on both sides of the family.

I have shared on this site about my marriage and the issue of infidelity. I feel very vulnerable entrusting my safety and security in a man I am not sure will be there for me in the long haul. I find myself making emotional compromises for the sake of security. My husband is 66 and says he values the structure and security I bring to his life. I manage the money and make sure the bills are paid each month. I clean his clothes, keep up on daily chores and basically keep the home fires burning. As wife number five, apparently I am the only with any homemaking and money management skills. But... He still has that need for the chase. He is 66, and his sex plumbing doesn’t work much anymore, but he still has the emotional libido of a 25 year old.

Agoraphobia and my safe zone has a shaky foundation. Just needed to talk.

Hi Jensitive22. You sound like a woman that most men would value very much. I'm sorry your husband still has a roving eye. I'm sorry you don't feel 100% like he's a "safe place" for you. Do you have a pet? My pet is like my unofficial emotional support pet. He gives me lots of comfort.

My husband is very faithful and committed to me, but he works late so I'm alone a lot with my pet.

I've had mild agoraphobia in the past, and even to this day I tend to stay at home in my nook. I've grown to be able to go certain places on my own, but they are very close to my home and are places I can go into and then leave within 30 mins max.
When I'm with my husband I can be out for longer periods nowadays. There was a time when even with my husband I couldn't go to places like the movies, the grocery store, or definitely not a concert.

Talk away, Jensitive. That is what we are here for.
I'm sorry you feel a shaky foundation, that is hard.
Agoraphobia would be rough. (I only deal with it sometimes [with some mixes of depression/anxiety/paranoia] but not as an ongoing concern.) Is it something you've brought up with your provider(s)? Do you have a T? (Sorry if I've missed this info.)

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Mr. Robot

Makes me sick to the heart, Oh I feel so tired. And the way the rain comes down hard, that's how I feel inside.

--The Cure